Day 10 (dose day)
Dose day.
Slept poorly again, this time due to a pain in my right side. I don't know if it was just intestinal gas or what. Any abdominal pain is worrisome to me now, with good reason. I just picture all these organs and intestines ready to turn rotten at any point. An aspirin ended up knocking the pain back enough that I could sleep, but that side still feels a little bloated and tender this morning.
Carrie's niece, or maybe I should say "our" niece Faye has begun coming over in the early morning before school (the school is just across the street from us) so her Mom can go to work. There something difficult about being around very young people. I can see their whole outlook being formed, and there's an opportunity to be a good influence, but I doubt I can be any kind of good influence. Like, I don't know the right thing to say or whatever. She told a story of her first day in school where a boy put his hand on hers and said "hi" as a flirtation, and she was obviously kind of excited and flattered. I told her something about how no one should touch her without consent, but I have no idea if that was a good thing to say or the right time for it, or if I was the right person to say it. ehh. Glad I'm not a parent, it'd be every day of fucking up some kid's head.
On the drive to work I was thinking about the unreleased final Crook'd Finger album. Wonder if I'll ever get that ready for release. Bunch of fun stuff on that.
10:25 +0.1g? 1/8ts + a little more, maybe a quarter of the little 1/8ts scooper thing
10:30 It's funny how quickly I feel some effects, although somehow it feels like it's been longer than 5 minutes. Slight disorientation, the music sounds extra intense. Everything's just gone very mildly odd. Taking the medicine while at work seems to amplify whatever anxiousness that might manifest.
10:38 Feeling very relaxed. One constant every time I take this medicine is a back and forth between feeling relaxed & either anxious or energetic. Less anxious if I move around & do stuff.
11:00 That "warmth in the chest" feeling that I've noted before is much stronger and more long-lasting this time, along with the relaxation. Kinda just feel like melting into this chair for a while. Happily there's nothing to do at work, so I can.
2:16 Curiously, that warm feeling extended throughout, and continues. I've felt somewhat lethargic, but have been working on some things that need to be done, but don't really have a strict time when they ought be be done, like setting up the new water heater.
Slept poorly again, this time due to a pain in my right side. I don't know if it was just intestinal gas or what. Any abdominal pain is worrisome to me now, with good reason. I just picture all these organs and intestines ready to turn rotten at any point. An aspirin ended up knocking the pain back enough that I could sleep, but that side still feels a little bloated and tender this morning.
Carrie's niece, or maybe I should say "our" niece Faye has begun coming over in the early morning before school (the school is just across the street from us) so her Mom can go to work. There something difficult about being around very young people. I can see their whole outlook being formed, and there's an opportunity to be a good influence, but I doubt I can be any kind of good influence. Like, I don't know the right thing to say or whatever. She told a story of her first day in school where a boy put his hand on hers and said "hi" as a flirtation, and she was obviously kind of excited and flattered. I told her something about how no one should touch her without consent, but I have no idea if that was a good thing to say or the right time for it, or if I was the right person to say it. ehh. Glad I'm not a parent, it'd be every day of fucking up some kid's head.
On the drive to work I was thinking about the unreleased final Crook'd Finger album. Wonder if I'll ever get that ready for release. Bunch of fun stuff on that.
10:25 +0.1g? 1/8ts + a little more, maybe a quarter of the little 1/8ts scooper thing
10:30 It's funny how quickly I feel some effects, although somehow it feels like it's been longer than 5 minutes. Slight disorientation, the music sounds extra intense. Everything's just gone very mildly odd. Taking the medicine while at work seems to amplify whatever anxiousness that might manifest.
10:38 Feeling very relaxed. One constant every time I take this medicine is a back and forth between feeling relaxed & either anxious or energetic. Less anxious if I move around & do stuff.
11:00 That "warmth in the chest" feeling that I've noted before is much stronger and more long-lasting this time, along with the relaxation. Kinda just feel like melting into this chair for a while. Happily there's nothing to do at work, so I can.
2:16 Curiously, that warm feeling extended throughout, and continues. I've felt somewhat lethargic, but have been working on some things that need to be done, but don't really have a strict time when they ought be be done, like setting up the new water heater.