Day 2 Protocol
A few thoughts on yesterday:
- had a brief anxiety event after my last timelog entry, i suspect it was related to the fact that i overate some pasta. didn't last long.
- it's been so terribly grim, flattened, grey, depressed and very fearful inside my head for so long that having a brief time when things seemed fascinating and i generally felt good was kind of exhilarating.
- the journal entries from yesterday express doubt that the effects i felt came from the medicine, but over time it became more obvious. however, i must state that the medicine didn't ~feel~ at any point like it was a foreign substance causing effects. does that make any sense? in retrospect it was a strong effect, but it felt like it was natural in the sense of not-artificial. i've had some bad side effects and weird sensations on other medicines, but this one did not feel "wrong".
Day 2, day after first dose
Slept about as well as I have been sleeping. Woke at 5-ish, didn't get back to sleep until 7:30 making it hard to wake up for work. Still feel fairly heavy-lidded at 3, but this is par for the course, especially for a Monday.
Had some creeping sadness earlier today, but it has passed for now.
Mostly today I feel pretty much as before, at a level I'd generally describe as baseline, but I do feel a little more able to not be annoyed and settle into a self-hatred routine -- but situationally things aren't too bad right now aside from being at work. Hope that maintains.
More later.
- had a brief anxiety event after my last timelog entry, i suspect it was related to the fact that i overate some pasta. didn't last long.
- it's been so terribly grim, flattened, grey, depressed and very fearful inside my head for so long that having a brief time when things seemed fascinating and i generally felt good was kind of exhilarating.
- the journal entries from yesterday express doubt that the effects i felt came from the medicine, but over time it became more obvious. however, i must state that the medicine didn't ~feel~ at any point like it was a foreign substance causing effects. does that make any sense? in retrospect it was a strong effect, but it felt like it was natural in the sense of not-artificial. i've had some bad side effects and weird sensations on other medicines, but this one did not feel "wrong".
Day 2, day after first dose
Slept about as well as I have been sleeping. Woke at 5-ish, didn't get back to sleep until 7:30 making it hard to wake up for work. Still feel fairly heavy-lidded at 3, but this is par for the course, especially for a Monday.
Had some creeping sadness earlier today, but it has passed for now.
Mostly today I feel pretty much as before, at a level I'd generally describe as baseline, but I do feel a little more able to not be annoyed and settle into a self-hatred routine -- but situationally things aren't too bad right now aside from being at work. Hope that maintains.
More later.