(no subject)
today so far has been intense.
- an incredible (tears) *** experience with g
- amazing cold shower
- conflict with reina that seriously rocked my core. having upfront confrontations has to be one of my weakest spots. a rude cashier can sometimes send me to tears, and i'll feel like shit for an hour. i wonder what this is all about, what emotional root residue these situations evoke. after reina confronted me, (i think it has everything to do with the nabhi.... feeling abused, "unfairness," anger, low self esteem, etc.) i spiraled down into a shit land for an hour. plus i lost my cell phone. plus i was stressed out about explaining to anusha why i wanted the day off. building up tension about calling him like crazy. i even had to call my parents for support before i called him....
- of course, when i finally called, anusha was chill as an ice cube and all the tension deflated like a big silly balloon... ahhh...
- then i found my phone, which i myself misplaced after having made a huge stink about it to like nine people
- then i did the MOST EFFECTIVE yoga practice of warm ups and sat nam kriya. it's truly amazing how powerful kundalini yoga is. it has the ability to complete reset me. my vision brightens, my head opens up, back neck muscles relax, tensions gone. hearing becomes more subtle. little sparks everywhere i look. i'm happy, excited to start the day, appreciative, grateful to those i love.
- the cool thing is i've done sat nam kriya for 11 minutes every day for the past four days, which is quite an accomplishment for me. i'm no longer aiming at 40 day stretches, i realize that i have to lessen my expectations of myself, and just do things ONE DAY AT A TIME. that's the attitude that i've had for the past four days... if i feel like doing sat nam, i do it. if i don't, then i don't. i have reduced the pressure to zero, and i'm not aiming for any number of consecutive days; and look, i've made it four days in a row! hope this entry doesn't jinx me and get my little expecting mind working.....
wa he guru!
- an incredible (tears) *** experience with g
- amazing cold shower
- conflict with reina that seriously rocked my core. having upfront confrontations has to be one of my weakest spots. a rude cashier can sometimes send me to tears, and i'll feel like shit for an hour. i wonder what this is all about, what emotional root residue these situations evoke. after reina confronted me, (i think it has everything to do with the nabhi.... feeling abused, "unfairness," anger, low self esteem, etc.) i spiraled down into a shit land for an hour. plus i lost my cell phone. plus i was stressed out about explaining to anusha why i wanted the day off. building up tension about calling him like crazy. i even had to call my parents for support before i called him....
- of course, when i finally called, anusha was chill as an ice cube and all the tension deflated like a big silly balloon... ahhh...
- then i found my phone, which i myself misplaced after having made a huge stink about it to like nine people
- then i did the MOST EFFECTIVE yoga practice of warm ups and sat nam kriya. it's truly amazing how powerful kundalini yoga is. it has the ability to complete reset me. my vision brightens, my head opens up, back neck muscles relax, tensions gone. hearing becomes more subtle. little sparks everywhere i look. i'm happy, excited to start the day, appreciative, grateful to those i love.
- the cool thing is i've done sat nam kriya for 11 minutes every day for the past four days, which is quite an accomplishment for me. i'm no longer aiming at 40 day stretches, i realize that i have to lessen my expectations of myself, and just do things ONE DAY AT A TIME. that's the attitude that i've had for the past four days... if i feel like doing sat nam, i do it. if i don't, then i don't. i have reduced the pressure to zero, and i'm not aiming for any number of consecutive days; and look, i've made it four days in a row! hope this entry doesn't jinx me and get my little expecting mind working.....
wa he guru!