The Dangerous Lives of Squirrels

[vulpez]

Squirrels have been coming up a lot lately. I don't even remember where and how, but in a couple of the things I've been reading (either online or in dead tree) have brought up the question of: why don't you see any baby squirrels ever

Comments

[emustrangler]

Z's little brother once asked me why we never see baby squirrels. I told him we actually saw them all the time, and that pigeons were the larval stage of squirrels, in the same way tadpoles were the larval stage of frogs.

Agree they're remarkably indestructible. When I was a little kid, we chased one up a tree and started climbing up after it. The tree was pretty isolated, so it couldn't jump to another one, and so it climbed to the very top and sat there cornered why a bunch of evil children climbed after it (in retrospect, probably lucky it just didn't jump on us and claw our eyes out). As we got close enough, it finally leaped off, plummeted more then 20 feet to the ground (the top of the tree was a little less then the top of our three story house) landed with a loud *thwack* and without even a pause immediately took off at a full run into the bushes.

[phasedweasel]

Does Z's brother still think you're stealing her soul when you kiss her?

[emustrangler]

Yea. That kids not going to grow up right.

[vulpez]

Will you be agnostiparent to any of my spawn, should I take temporary leave of my senses?

[lordheadshot]

I once had a squirrel fall on my head. Of course, it was prompted out of its tree by a storm of #6 shot from my 20-gauge, and the aforementioned shot pattern also rained down upon my head. This is why I hunt squirrels with a shotgun instead of a rifle. #6 shot doesn't hurt coming down. .22s can kill.

But yes, I do like watching the little beasties. Sometimes when I'm home for deer season (when it is illegal to hunt squirrels), I'll be out in the woods, sitting in a divot in the snow and waiting for bambi, and watching all the cute little squirrels try to gather up their last batches of nuts for the winter. They are indeed cute, and tasty as well. I love squirrel pot pie.

[vulpez]

They're high in cholesterol, though.

[casabonika]

It's, ummm...the good cholesterol?

[phasedweasel]

That's why cousin Eddie doesn't eat them any more.

[casabonika]

The hobos, big black and grey, jump off the trains and trucks to breed in my backyard. Next door neighbour feeds them peanuts and I find them all over my yard.

They chewed the damned lightbulbs off my strings of led lights I had strung on my fence! I mean, DAMN. What the heck do they want to do with my lightbulbs? The strings were unplugged at the time, so I guess that was an open invitation for collection day.

Once in a while they fry themselves on the transformer down the street. I'm not their biggest fan, but I draw the line at electricity. I feel bad when that happens.

[green_da_mink]

FYI: Squirells are bent on universal domination so, be weary of their actions. Don't believe me? They knock out power in Texas all the freaking time. There is squirell merchandise all over Portland and they just do nutty things that one can misinterperate as a squirell just being a squirell. But is that REALLY what they are doing?

I bet you this squirell who kept falling was part of the resistance. He is against universal domination so the squirell mob has it out to kill him but they did not know he'd be so tenacious. Still, I am sure this squirell gets the message. You ought to be seeing lots of dead squirells that look like they died in accidents (falling off of fences, wires, trees, hit by cars) because this little skirmish will stir the resistance to further action that will require an even more firm hand by the squirelly powers that be.

Remember: They are out to get us. Pray the resistance succeeds...