Looking back on last year, it seems mediocre. Nothing really good and nothing really bad sticks out. Is this what married life means? Lol. I think I struggle with my life currently like a medicated bipolar does. We both agree that the bads were bad and glad that they are gone, but the equally goog goods are gone too, and that I would like back. I feel almost like I'm treading water and my life is going no where. Our relationship is getter no better, no worse, my job is pretty much the same, I can't seem to get even a call back on a partime job. My bank account is slowly heading towards where I want it, but not nearly quick enough.
Sometimes I think I need a month away, from everything and everyone, to figure some things out for myself. I also seem to think a lot about if he is a good match for me, yes I love him and we get a long great, but I think most of that is my ability to quickly forget things. There are something I simply won't be able to handle for my.whole life. This whole grown up thing is hard. Love is hard and complicated.
I may be a little depressed. I don't really feel connected to anyone right now. I think I think too much, or maybe I don't want to listen to myself too often. I'm confused I think, and scared of what all of this could mean.
Old habits die hard.
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