"..i spit hot bars, i spit on cop cars, i spit game to the chicks that belong to rock stars.."
So I guess I should inform everyone that I have been sick for seriously the past month or so. It just won't go the fuck away. My nose is so stuffy and then it will get really dry. I hack up a lung every ten minutes and this nasty gunk will fly out. It's really quite gross. My body feels off: Equilibrium all fucked up so I stumble around and sway.
And I can't go to the doc's, because I don't have insurance and I already owe them fifty million something dollars.
Ridiculous.
Another thing is, I think a lot of people are upset with me because I havn't been hanging out lately. Which is fine, somewhat understandable, but really unfair if that's the reason.
I've been so tired lately. And not just sleepy tired, but tired of a lot of things. I guess you could call it a state of depression, I don't know. I just start thinking a lot about my future, and how I can't see where I might be in five or ten years. How I am too lazy to fix this, and need to stop being so lethargic about it. As of right now, I don't have a future. I have nothing under my belt. My life is just a day to day repatition of going to work and coming home, repeat. It really sucks.
I was talking to my dad about it last night. He made me feel a little better. He told me I'm still young. Twenty two isn't old, and niether is twenty five. He told me that I still have time and shouldn't stress about it.
But I still get all ... weird when I think about it. I mean, what do I have to show in my life? Not really anything but a good group of friends. Which is important, but what about for myself? My financial system is fucked. I never have money though I feel like I work so much.
My dad mentioned that it might be because of the whole Hector thing. How now, that I've finally cut off all my ties with him, I have more to focus on myself and what's good for me, rather than paying attention to what was going on with Hector. That could definitely be it. I'm still beyond heart broken over it, but of course, surviving.
Anyways ... I don't even know what the point of this rant was.
Maybe so I could just get some of it off my shoulders.
Leah, Timothy. I hope you two arn't upset with me.
And I can't go to the doc's, because I don't have insurance and I already owe them fifty million something dollars.
Ridiculous.
Another thing is, I think a lot of people are upset with me because I havn't been hanging out lately. Which is fine, somewhat understandable, but really unfair if that's the reason.
I've been so tired lately. And not just sleepy tired, but tired of a lot of things. I guess you could call it a state of depression, I don't know. I just start thinking a lot about my future, and how I can't see where I might be in five or ten years. How I am too lazy to fix this, and need to stop being so lethargic about it. As of right now, I don't have a future. I have nothing under my belt. My life is just a day to day repatition of going to work and coming home, repeat. It really sucks.
I was talking to my dad about it last night. He made me feel a little better. He told me I'm still young. Twenty two isn't old, and niether is twenty five. He told me that I still have time and shouldn't stress about it.
But I still get all ... weird when I think about it. I mean, what do I have to show in my life? Not really anything but a good group of friends. Which is important, but what about for myself? My financial system is fucked. I never have money though I feel like I work so much.
My dad mentioned that it might be because of the whole Hector thing. How now, that I've finally cut off all my ties with him, I have more to focus on myself and what's good for me, rather than paying attention to what was going on with Hector. That could definitely be it. I'm still beyond heart broken over it, but of course, surviving.
Anyways ... I don't even know what the point of this rant was.
Maybe so I could just get some of it off my shoulders.
Leah, Timothy. I hope you two arn't upset with me.