"..pain is nothing that a downpour won't erase.."
Allow me a good hour or so to really vent. And when I say vent, I mean if you're under the age of eighteen you probably shouldn't read the horror and vulgarity of what I'm about to type out.
I am just about fucking fed up with the penis population that has roamed into my life. From Hector to Matt, to Cody and Allen. They can all fucking rot in hell for all I give a shit. I'm done caring about how they are, and not worrying about my fucking self.
Yeah, that's right.
"I got a bone to pick and a few to break."
You want my honest opinion? Love doesn't exist. It's a technical term that is decided between two people who are just meant for one another, but it's not a real thing. It's not something you can hold, or touch. It's just a fucking statement that allows you to be more emotional with one person.
Take Hector, for instance. I spent almost two God damned years devoting everything to his problems. Being that shoulder to cry on, being the ear to which he could vent to about his problems. I gave up almost two years of my fucking life as a savior for this man who I fell madly in love with, and who supposively loved me too.
What do I get in the end? I get the realization that he was nothing more than a pathetic, middle aged man with a crisis of finding himself. I get a selfish boy that thinks it's ok to fuck someone over so bad, and have no regret about it. I get a broken fucking heart, and a broken fucking perception on the male race.
It all made sense the other day. The other day when I found out that for four months I've been nothing but played and lied to. How Hector has actually been dating someone else, who's name is Brooklyn of all things. How Jackie moved out a good four months ago. How that fucking bastard isn't moving to Vegas. How all the times he told me he still loved me and just couldn't be with me because of the stress of his situation were just a bunch of bullshit to keep me dangling on that invisible string for his own personal fucking amusement.
Yeah, that's right. Jenny, the living broken hearted doll that everyone just loves to kick around.
Well you know what? Not any more. Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck it all. Fuck anyone who ever thinks that they can get away with that shit with me again. I'll gladly murder the next man to lay down some lies in my path, and I won't feel a bit guilty about such things.
I'm a good fucking person. I'm an awesome person. No, correction, I'm a great fucking woman. Not a girl, a woman. A fucking woman with a good fucking head on her shoulders, who knows what she wants in a relationship and does everything in her fucking blood to make the other person happy. I'm not Jenna Jameson hot, but I am attractive. My personality makes up for my physical flaws. I have a job. A car. A place of my own. Two fucking cats and a mom that would accept anyone as part of the family as long as they cared enough about me.
I deserve better. I deserve everything.
Will I get it?
Fuck. Yes. I. Will.
Just not right now. And that's fine. I've been patient this long, what's another couple of years?
Oh, and to really get into some violent stuff, there is a certain fucking snaggle toothed bitch that should be firmly watching her God damned back. Let me just say this: If anyone ever tries to infringe on any of my friendships, I will easily shed any human behavior of morals or a conscience and beat the living fuck out of them with a damn two by fucking four. And it will happen to this certain little girl with the brain capacity of a twelve year old prostitute on the corner of Miracle Mile.
Lauren and I have been friends since I was a freshman in highschool. That's almost eight years ago. And for you, yes you you fucking piece of worthless flesh, to try to corrupt that friendship should be slaughtered down by my own hostile hands. Whatever problems arise through out our relationship is between us, and the fact of the matter is, we'll always get over any arguements or differances we have. Unlike you, who jumps to vain conclusions and thinks that she is talking shit about you, when in reality if you were a true friend, you would understand and read between the lines to realize she wasn't even talking about your skanktafied rebirth from dumb slut to moronic stripper. How dare you think that I wouldn't catch wind that you decided it would be ok for you to say something like "You're not going to be her friend again, are you?". Give me a fucking break, and grab yourself a fucking clue. Again? We were never enemies or just aquintances in the first place. We've always been friends. And will always remain friends. We know one another like the backs of our own fucking hands. You need to learn the epitome of respect and find out exactly where you stand with Lauren and myself. And it isn't between us, so don't even think that you can just suddenly pop up and take over what I've strived for for the past eight years. It's called "true friendship" and I don't think you'll ever fucking experience. I have no sympathy or pity for you, because I think you're a reckless piece of waste of space and should off yourself to make room for someone better, stronger, and much more attractive.
Ok, I'm done. But just on a last note, that goes to any of my friends. If anyone, and I mean anyone, tried to push me away from those I love and care about, I take no shame in the actions that will follow.
Such as mutilation and riot bruises.
End.
I am just about fucking fed up with the penis population that has roamed into my life. From Hector to Matt, to Cody and Allen. They can all fucking rot in hell for all I give a shit. I'm done caring about how they are, and not worrying about my fucking self.
Yeah, that's right.
"I got a bone to pick and a few to break."
You want my honest opinion? Love doesn't exist. It's a technical term that is decided between two people who are just meant for one another, but it's not a real thing. It's not something you can hold, or touch. It's just a fucking statement that allows you to be more emotional with one person.
Take Hector, for instance. I spent almost two God damned years devoting everything to his problems. Being that shoulder to cry on, being the ear to which he could vent to about his problems. I gave up almost two years of my fucking life as a savior for this man who I fell madly in love with, and who supposively loved me too.
What do I get in the end? I get the realization that he was nothing more than a pathetic, middle aged man with a crisis of finding himself. I get a selfish boy that thinks it's ok to fuck someone over so bad, and have no regret about it. I get a broken fucking heart, and a broken fucking perception on the male race.
It all made sense the other day. The other day when I found out that for four months I've been nothing but played and lied to. How Hector has actually been dating someone else, who's name is Brooklyn of all things. How Jackie moved out a good four months ago. How that fucking bastard isn't moving to Vegas. How all the times he told me he still loved me and just couldn't be with me because of the stress of his situation were just a bunch of bullshit to keep me dangling on that invisible string for his own personal fucking amusement.
Yeah, that's right. Jenny, the living broken hearted doll that everyone just loves to kick around.
Well you know what? Not any more. Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck it all. Fuck anyone who ever thinks that they can get away with that shit with me again. I'll gladly murder the next man to lay down some lies in my path, and I won't feel a bit guilty about such things.
I'm a good fucking person. I'm an awesome person. No, correction, I'm a great fucking woman. Not a girl, a woman. A fucking woman with a good fucking head on her shoulders, who knows what she wants in a relationship and does everything in her fucking blood to make the other person happy. I'm not Jenna Jameson hot, but I am attractive. My personality makes up for my physical flaws. I have a job. A car. A place of my own. Two fucking cats and a mom that would accept anyone as part of the family as long as they cared enough about me.
I deserve better. I deserve everything.
Will I get it?
Fuck. Yes. I. Will.
Just not right now. And that's fine. I've been patient this long, what's another couple of years?
Oh, and to really get into some violent stuff, there is a certain fucking snaggle toothed bitch that should be firmly watching her God damned back. Let me just say this: If anyone ever tries to infringe on any of my friendships, I will easily shed any human behavior of morals or a conscience and beat the living fuck out of them with a damn two by fucking four. And it will happen to this certain little girl with the brain capacity of a twelve year old prostitute on the corner of Miracle Mile.
Lauren and I have been friends since I was a freshman in highschool. That's almost eight years ago. And for you, yes you you fucking piece of worthless flesh, to try to corrupt that friendship should be slaughtered down by my own hostile hands. Whatever problems arise through out our relationship is between us, and the fact of the matter is, we'll always get over any arguements or differances we have. Unlike you, who jumps to vain conclusions and thinks that she is talking shit about you, when in reality if you were a true friend, you would understand and read between the lines to realize she wasn't even talking about your skanktafied rebirth from dumb slut to moronic stripper. How dare you think that I wouldn't catch wind that you decided it would be ok for you to say something like "You're not going to be her friend again, are you?". Give me a fucking break, and grab yourself a fucking clue. Again? We were never enemies or just aquintances in the first place. We've always been friends. And will always remain friends. We know one another like the backs of our own fucking hands. You need to learn the epitome of respect and find out exactly where you stand with Lauren and myself. And it isn't between us, so don't even think that you can just suddenly pop up and take over what I've strived for for the past eight years. It's called "true friendship" and I don't think you'll ever fucking experience. I have no sympathy or pity for you, because I think you're a reckless piece of waste of space and should off yourself to make room for someone better, stronger, and much more attractive.
Ok, I'm done. But just on a last note, that goes to any of my friends. If anyone, and I mean anyone, tried to push me away from those I love and care about, I take no shame in the actions that will follow.
Such as mutilation and riot bruises.
End.