Forever And A Day
Title: Forever And A Day
Length: one shot
Pairing: Kaoru x Shinya, Kaoru x Kyo (mentioned), Kyo x Toshiya (mentioned).
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst with a happy ending.
Disclaimer/Claimer: I do not own the members of Dir en grey. I am not making money from this. This is fiction. That means that these events never happened in real life.
Summary: Shinya never told Kaoru that he loved him. Is it too late?
Notes: Shinya’s POV. It’s raining at this moment and I felt inspired by it. Writen for 50stories for the theme rain.
I love you Kaoru. I know I’ve never told you that but I do. I don’t think I could ever tell you. Not when you have our vocalist to take care of. Kyo needs you more then I do. I know you love me. I see it every time you look at me when Kyo isn’t around. Sometimes I feel bad for the man and other times I wish he were dead. I’m smiling at that. I don’t want him dead. I love Kyo like a brother but I wish he didn’t take you. I wish I could have told you how I felt when I had the chance instead of running away.
It’s raining now just like that day. It was right after Dir en grey was just made. We had gone out to a bar to celebrate Toshiya agreeing to join us. I remember how Die and Toshiya were having a drinking contest and of course Toshiya lost. I don’t think anyone has ever been able to out drink Die. Poor Kyo had to bring Toshiya back to their place while Die left to go to another bar. I couldn’t drink any more so you decided to walk me home. We were still so young and fresh that we couldn’t even afford cars then. That’s another funny moment, when you were the first one to but a car. Everyone else kept calling you up and asking you to drive them places. I remember you said, “Shinya’s the only good one out of this whole band. He doesn’t ask me to drive him places.”
That night when we were walking home was when it happened. It was the first time you told me that you loved me. We were walking when suddenly it started to rain. It wasn’t heavy rain but neither of use had an umbrella and we were getting wet fast. We tried to cover our heads with out hands as we ran for safety. We found it at a supermarket. The place was crowed with people trying to escape the rain or doing some late night shopping.
Your hair was so wet. Mine must have been too because you were laughing and pointing at me. I pouted. You told me I had a cute pout and made me blush. I wasn’t expecting you to say something like that. Die is usually the one to tease me. You placed your cold hands on my cold wet face. We must have stood there for a long time looking into each other’s eyes. I could get lost in your eyes forever. They were filled with so many emotions that day. You looked sad, worried, nervous, happy and excited at the same time.
I would never forget the moment when you told me your feelings. Your hands were gently rubbing my cheeks. You were looking at me with love and hope but you were also nervous to tell me. Everything seemed so romantic despite the fact that we were in a supermarket and standing next to the fruit section. Then you whisper those three little words so softly so that only I would hear them. “I love you.”
I did nothing. I wanted to grab you and kiss you but I couldn’t. So instead I gripped your shirt and leaned my head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around me. You smelled like the rain, tobacco and cheap booze. I was silent.
I know I’m crying right now but I’m alone so it’s all right. I didn’t want to go home so I stayed behind in the practice room. You would be back later and tell me to go home. Right now you are busy discussing the up coming tour with our manager. Part of me wanted you to walk in, wipe my tears away and tell me that you love me and are leaving Kyo for me. Part of me is ashamed at myself. I’m ashamed that I couldn’t tell you how much I loved you then because now all I want to do is grab you and scream that you are mine. But I can’t because you are not mine. Kyo is your boyfriend.
The rain has stopped now but I’m still crying my own storm. I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here. Did you go home already? I hope you did so you wouldn’t see my tears but I also hope you didn’t because then you would be in Kyo’s arms.
“I love you Kaoru.” I cried it to the empty room. “I’m sorry I ran away. I won’t do it again. Please come back to me. Please.” I’ve gone crazy now.
I heard something fall behind me. Looking our bassist standing there next to Kaoru. I think you heard me. You must have heard me and now you are walking over here to reject me. Please be nice Kaoru.
“Shinya.” You are smiling. That’s strange. You take my face into your hands. You are gently rubbing my cheeks like you did again so long ago. Your actions make me cry more and all I can do is cling to you and cry. You wrap your arms around me and whisper softly to me. You tell me that everything will be alright and that you are here for me.
“But what about Kyo?” I ruined it. I shouldn’t have said a word.
You kiss my head and rub my back. I was expecting you to say something but it is our bassist who speaks. “He’ll be fine.” Toshiya sounds sad. I look over at him to see that he was silently crying. “I’m such an idiot.” He walked over to Kaoru and me. “Shinya, like you I messed up.” I listened to Toshiya tell his story. “When I was living with Kyo we used to have sex. I thought that it was only sex but I didn’t expect to fall in love with him. It scared me and I never expected Kyo to feel the same. When Kyo told me that he loved me I ran away. I moved out of his place and started avoiding him. Then Kyo and Kaoru got together. I came over here tonight because I was going to force Kaoru to break up with Kyo.”
“Toshiya.” You said. “You didn’t have to.”
“Yes I did.” Toshiya yelled. “I love him Kaoru and you can’t have him!”
“Toshiya! Kyo and I were never together!” You shouted.
“You weren’t?” Toshiya asked. “But what about all those times when you and Kyo left together. I always see you two flirting with each other.”
You laughed. “It all seems so silly now.” He rubbed the back of his head and looked down slowly. “Well, one day Kyo and I were talking about our problems with love. He loved you and I…I loved Shinya.” You stopped and smile at me before looking down again. “We decided to flirt with each other and make you two so jealous that you would come running back to us.” Toshiya broke out in laughter. “Hey! It is not that funny.”
“Yes it is.” Toshiya laughed. Then he turned around and walked to the door. Before leaving he turned and said, “Excuse me but I have a little Warumono to catch.”
We are alone. You are still looking at the floor so I decide to be bold and grab your shirt. I smile at you and you smile back. You don’t know how mush your smile just warmed my heart. You wrapped your arms around me. I felt safe and warm in your embrace. “What are you doing?” You asked me.
“Watching the rain.”
“But it’s sunny out.” You laughed. I look out the window and you are right. My rain is gone and replaced with sunlight. You are my sun Kaoru, a never-ending warm light.
Length: one shot
Pairing: Kaoru x Shinya, Kaoru x Kyo (mentioned), Kyo x Toshiya (mentioned).
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst with a happy ending.
Disclaimer/Claimer: I do not own the members of Dir en grey. I am not making money from this. This is fiction. That means that these events never happened in real life.
Summary: Shinya never told Kaoru that he loved him. Is it too late?
Notes: Shinya’s POV. It’s raining at this moment and I felt inspired by it. Writen for 50stories for the theme rain.
I love you Kaoru. I know I’ve never told you that but I do. I don’t think I could ever tell you. Not when you have our vocalist to take care of. Kyo needs you more then I do. I know you love me. I see it every time you look at me when Kyo isn’t around. Sometimes I feel bad for the man and other times I wish he were dead. I’m smiling at that. I don’t want him dead. I love Kyo like a brother but I wish he didn’t take you. I wish I could have told you how I felt when I had the chance instead of running away.
It’s raining now just like that day. It was right after Dir en grey was just made. We had gone out to a bar to celebrate Toshiya agreeing to join us. I remember how Die and Toshiya were having a drinking contest and of course Toshiya lost. I don’t think anyone has ever been able to out drink Die. Poor Kyo had to bring Toshiya back to their place while Die left to go to another bar. I couldn’t drink any more so you decided to walk me home. We were still so young and fresh that we couldn’t even afford cars then. That’s another funny moment, when you were the first one to but a car. Everyone else kept calling you up and asking you to drive them places. I remember you said, “Shinya’s the only good one out of this whole band. He doesn’t ask me to drive him places.”
That night when we were walking home was when it happened. It was the first time you told me that you loved me. We were walking when suddenly it started to rain. It wasn’t heavy rain but neither of use had an umbrella and we were getting wet fast. We tried to cover our heads with out hands as we ran for safety. We found it at a supermarket. The place was crowed with people trying to escape the rain or doing some late night shopping.
Your hair was so wet. Mine must have been too because you were laughing and pointing at me. I pouted. You told me I had a cute pout and made me blush. I wasn’t expecting you to say something like that. Die is usually the one to tease me. You placed your cold hands on my cold wet face. We must have stood there for a long time looking into each other’s eyes. I could get lost in your eyes forever. They were filled with so many emotions that day. You looked sad, worried, nervous, happy and excited at the same time.
I would never forget the moment when you told me your feelings. Your hands were gently rubbing my cheeks. You were looking at me with love and hope but you were also nervous to tell me. Everything seemed so romantic despite the fact that we were in a supermarket and standing next to the fruit section. Then you whisper those three little words so softly so that only I would hear them. “I love you.”
I did nothing. I wanted to grab you and kiss you but I couldn’t. So instead I gripped your shirt and leaned my head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around me. You smelled like the rain, tobacco and cheap booze. I was silent.
I know I’m crying right now but I’m alone so it’s all right. I didn’t want to go home so I stayed behind in the practice room. You would be back later and tell me to go home. Right now you are busy discussing the up coming tour with our manager. Part of me wanted you to walk in, wipe my tears away and tell me that you love me and are leaving Kyo for me. Part of me is ashamed at myself. I’m ashamed that I couldn’t tell you how much I loved you then because now all I want to do is grab you and scream that you are mine. But I can’t because you are not mine. Kyo is your boyfriend.
The rain has stopped now but I’m still crying my own storm. I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here. Did you go home already? I hope you did so you wouldn’t see my tears but I also hope you didn’t because then you would be in Kyo’s arms.
“I love you Kaoru.” I cried it to the empty room. “I’m sorry I ran away. I won’t do it again. Please come back to me. Please.” I’ve gone crazy now.
I heard something fall behind me. Looking our bassist standing there next to Kaoru. I think you heard me. You must have heard me and now you are walking over here to reject me. Please be nice Kaoru.
“Shinya.” You are smiling. That’s strange. You take my face into your hands. You are gently rubbing my cheeks like you did again so long ago. Your actions make me cry more and all I can do is cling to you and cry. You wrap your arms around me and whisper softly to me. You tell me that everything will be alright and that you are here for me.
“But what about Kyo?” I ruined it. I shouldn’t have said a word.
You kiss my head and rub my back. I was expecting you to say something but it is our bassist who speaks. “He’ll be fine.” Toshiya sounds sad. I look over at him to see that he was silently crying. “I’m such an idiot.” He walked over to Kaoru and me. “Shinya, like you I messed up.” I listened to Toshiya tell his story. “When I was living with Kyo we used to have sex. I thought that it was only sex but I didn’t expect to fall in love with him. It scared me and I never expected Kyo to feel the same. When Kyo told me that he loved me I ran away. I moved out of his place and started avoiding him. Then Kyo and Kaoru got together. I came over here tonight because I was going to force Kaoru to break up with Kyo.”
“Toshiya.” You said. “You didn’t have to.”
“Yes I did.” Toshiya yelled. “I love him Kaoru and you can’t have him!”
“Toshiya! Kyo and I were never together!” You shouted.
“You weren’t?” Toshiya asked. “But what about all those times when you and Kyo left together. I always see you two flirting with each other.”
You laughed. “It all seems so silly now.” He rubbed the back of his head and looked down slowly. “Well, one day Kyo and I were talking about our problems with love. He loved you and I…I loved Shinya.” You stopped and smile at me before looking down again. “We decided to flirt with each other and make you two so jealous that you would come running back to us.” Toshiya broke out in laughter. “Hey! It is not that funny.”
“Yes it is.” Toshiya laughed. Then he turned around and walked to the door. Before leaving he turned and said, “Excuse me but I have a little Warumono to catch.”
We are alone. You are still looking at the floor so I decide to be bold and grab your shirt. I smile at you and you smile back. You don’t know how mush your smile just warmed my heart. You wrapped your arms around me. I felt safe and warm in your embrace. “What are you doing?” You asked me.
“Watching the rain.”
“But it’s sunny out.” You laughed. I look out the window and you are right. My rain is gone and replaced with sunlight. You are my sun Kaoru, a never-ending warm light.