The Past Doesn't Change
I've had a baby try to eat my pants and shirt (and my finger and my hair, and anything else he could get his mouth on), been drooled on, spilt milk on myself, and have been cried on this morning. I was also crawling around on the floor, and laying on the floor as well. I think I survived the day without dealing with boogers though. I REALLY should change my clothes.
I talked with Mr. Furlong last night, about everything thats been going on the last month. I realised I was upset about some things I never really said before. Upset with something my councelor said to me...about Dustin. She said that he was never my friend, that he knew how I felt about him, and used that to his benefit. I was telling Mr. Furlong that. I said, I *thought* that he was my friend, but some people have been saying that he never was. And Mr. Furlong said "No, thats not true. He WAS your friend." So we had a pretty long conversation about that. Then I wrote this poem:
I cried today,
because I missed you.
Not the you you are now,
but the you you were.
Things have changed
I don't know who changed
but something shifted
and its just not the same.
But I remembered the hugs
the time we spent alone
taking about music and laughing,
long hours on the phone
I remember the confessions
talking until we understood
the tears and the hard times
I gave you everything I could
I remember being there for eachother
you listening while I cried
my telling you I believed in you
you claiming that I lied.
It was a good friendship
and one I thought would last
and even though it didn't
that doesn't change the past.
Right now we look at eachother
and neither say a word
you're not happy with me, I know
but I'd still give you the world
Because despite what has transpired
I remember how we were
and no matter what people tell me
I am absolutly sure
We were friends for real
We made it through some hell
but we were friends despite the odds
we loved eachother well
It was more than I'd ever had
I'd hoped that it would last
I know it fell apart
But that doesn't change the past.
I cried today when I remembered
but I wasn't really sad
I was just happy to remember
all the good times that we had.
I talked with Mr. Furlong last night, about everything thats been going on the last month. I realised I was upset about some things I never really said before. Upset with something my councelor said to me...about Dustin. She said that he was never my friend, that he knew how I felt about him, and used that to his benefit. I was telling Mr. Furlong that. I said, I *thought* that he was my friend, but some people have been saying that he never was. And Mr. Furlong said "No, thats not true. He WAS your friend." So we had a pretty long conversation about that. Then I wrote this poem:
I cried today,
because I missed you.
Not the you you are now,
but the you you were.
Things have changed
I don't know who changed
but something shifted
and its just not the same.
But I remembered the hugs
the time we spent alone
taking about music and laughing,
long hours on the phone
I remember the confessions
talking until we understood
the tears and the hard times
I gave you everything I could
I remember being there for eachother
you listening while I cried
my telling you I believed in you
you claiming that I lied.
It was a good friendship
and one I thought would last
and even though it didn't
that doesn't change the past.
Right now we look at eachother
and neither say a word
you're not happy with me, I know
but I'd still give you the world
Because despite what has transpired
I remember how we were
and no matter what people tell me
I am absolutly sure
We were friends for real
We made it through some hell
but we were friends despite the odds
we loved eachother well
It was more than I'd ever had
I'd hoped that it would last
I know it fell apart
But that doesn't change the past.
I cried today when I remembered
but I wasn't really sad
I was just happy to remember
all the good times that we had.