Chicken Gumbo, for here, please
As I'm sitting here in Qdoba eating a nice bowl of Chicken Gumbo, I take some time to think about everything that's happened in the past year since my graduation from the university. So much and so little has happened in that time, and thinking back on it I realize that I've changed a lot and a little at the same time. A bit cryptic, I know, but bear with me for a few.
Towards the end of my time at UM, I essentially alienated myself from a lot of things to focus on school. Me, not being the best of students, made the effort to do my best and graduate without any problems. I struggled, studied, coded, designed, freaked, cried, worried, agonized, and stressed for so long that life was passing me by. I didn't have time to look for internships or jobs for after graduation because I was too focused on making sure I WAS going to graduate. Vanessa, my girlfriend at the time, put up with a lot from me in that final semester. I tried to not weigh her down with any of my school-related issues, but as time wore on my sense of everything wore thin, and due to an extreme lack of sleep I was in a zombie-like mood the majority of the day. Once everything was said and done, did the walk, and submitted the final assignment a couple hours afterwards in a computer lab that had become a 4th home for me, my body breathed a sigh of relief for me and for the first time in a long while I was able to truly relax.
The next few days were spent sleeping and recovering from whatever illnesses I had accumulated during the semester that were literally put on-hold until my stress levels were at a point where my brain allowed said illnesses to do their job and render me into a sack of human jelly with the strength of a newborn child freshly pulled from the womb.
The months that followed were wrought by drama from the floundering theater group due to incompetent leadership, entering the single's life again, working on a project for the Disney Imagineering competition, being unemployed, and looking for a job to put my engineering degree towards. Most interviews were concluded with a "We're going to go with someone who has more experience" feel to it. A conversation that I had with someone one day went something like this:
Me: Yeah, I'm looking for a job.
Them: Alright, though you just need to get more experience.
Me: Ok, so how do I get whatever "experience" it is I need?
Them: Well you need to find a job.
Me: How do I get a job if companies only want to hire people with "experience"?
Them: .....
Now before someone tells me that "it takes time" and "you need to know someone in the company already", I'm going to cut you off right now because I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing that shit day in and day out from every single goddamned person I come across. I know it takes time. I know I have to keep sending my resume out there. I know I need to keep going. Someone re-iterating that to me as if it's the first time I've ever heard those words does NOT make me feel better nor make the process any easier. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong fields, or on the wrong websites. Who knows? Right now there are a couple jobs that opened up that look very promising, one being in Miami Children's Hospital since my aunt who works there knows the guy in charge of the I.T. department. Another is working in the Digital Media Lab back at the UM Library doing stuff that's relatively close to my degree. I've been checking back on those mostly because other places I've submitted my resume to are either "waiting for more applicants" or "haven't gotten to it yet".
The thing that REALLY sucks is that someone who graduated from college with a degree in English or some-such can walk into a Barnes & Noble, buy a few books about a programming language, learn what to do and get hired by a company looking for a programmer over someone with an Engineering or Computer Science degree simply because the English major can be paid less. While this is not the case everywhere, it does happen. Most of the time the person who ends up getting the job is someone who is either related to or knows someone(s) in the company and they vouched for him/her.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, that's all I'm saying about it. In the earlier months I bitched and moaned and all that shit about the job hunt, but when all I was hearing was the same shit over and over and over again, I just quit bitching. If someone asks, I'll keep it short because I don't want to get too into it, and everyone else I've talked to that's in a similar boat feels the way I do. Hell, trying to find a job doing ANYTHING with the way the economy is right now is harder than going spear-fishing for minnows in the middle of a hurricane while blind-folded. Granted, I have a part-time job at a Game Stop, it's not enough to go on for very long. I can do free-lance work for graphics and websites, but so can anyone with an understanding of Adobe Creative Suite and the right books.
I know that things will work out one day. I've got my own issues with organized religion, but I believe that things happen for a reason, and that things happen in their own time. Since my cousin's wedding, I've noticed that a lot of my friends are either recently engaged, or getting married soon. I'm happy for them, really, but it's not my time yet. I know this. Hell, I can barely support myself as is. Do I want to get married? Eventually, yes. Is it a huge concern of mine? No. It just amazes me how many people I know have found the person they want to spend their lives with while I'm sitting here at a Qdoba by myself debating if I should work on some more chain maille or head to the nearby Border's and read something before I go to work later.
Not much else I can think of right now, so I'll cut this here. As per normal, ask me anything and I'll get back to ya. I've been "out of the loop" for so long that I decided to get back into the LJ and facebook and myspace world, checking them regularly, posting shit, etc.
Catch ya on the flip side.
Towards the end of my time at UM, I essentially alienated myself from a lot of things to focus on school. Me, not being the best of students, made the effort to do my best and graduate without any problems. I struggled, studied, coded, designed, freaked, cried, worried, agonized, and stressed for so long that life was passing me by. I didn't have time to look for internships or jobs for after graduation because I was too focused on making sure I WAS going to graduate. Vanessa, my girlfriend at the time, put up with a lot from me in that final semester. I tried to not weigh her down with any of my school-related issues, but as time wore on my sense of everything wore thin, and due to an extreme lack of sleep I was in a zombie-like mood the majority of the day. Once everything was said and done, did the walk, and submitted the final assignment a couple hours afterwards in a computer lab that had become a 4th home for me, my body breathed a sigh of relief for me and for the first time in a long while I was able to truly relax.
The next few days were spent sleeping and recovering from whatever illnesses I had accumulated during the semester that were literally put on-hold until my stress levels were at a point where my brain allowed said illnesses to do their job and render me into a sack of human jelly with the strength of a newborn child freshly pulled from the womb.
The months that followed were wrought by drama from the floundering theater group due to incompetent leadership, entering the single's life again, working on a project for the Disney Imagineering competition, being unemployed, and looking for a job to put my engineering degree towards. Most interviews were concluded with a "We're going to go with someone who has more experience" feel to it. A conversation that I had with someone one day went something like this:
Me: Yeah, I'm looking for a job.
Them: Alright, though you just need to get more experience.
Me: Ok, so how do I get whatever "experience" it is I need?
Them: Well you need to find a job.
Me: How do I get a job if companies only want to hire people with "experience"?
Them: .....
Now before someone tells me that "it takes time" and "you need to know someone in the company already", I'm going to cut you off right now because I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing that shit day in and day out from every single goddamned person I come across. I know it takes time. I know I have to keep sending my resume out there. I know I need to keep going. Someone re-iterating that to me as if it's the first time I've ever heard those words does NOT make me feel better nor make the process any easier. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong fields, or on the wrong websites. Who knows? Right now there are a couple jobs that opened up that look very promising, one being in Miami Children's Hospital since my aunt who works there knows the guy in charge of the I.T. department. Another is working in the Digital Media Lab back at the UM Library doing stuff that's relatively close to my degree. I've been checking back on those mostly because other places I've submitted my resume to are either "waiting for more applicants" or "haven't gotten to it yet".
The thing that REALLY sucks is that someone who graduated from college with a degree in English or some-such can walk into a Barnes & Noble, buy a few books about a programming language, learn what to do and get hired by a company looking for a programmer over someone with an Engineering or Computer Science degree simply because the English major can be paid less. While this is not the case everywhere, it does happen. Most of the time the person who ends up getting the job is someone who is either related to or knows someone(s) in the company and they vouched for him/her.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, that's all I'm saying about it. In the earlier months I bitched and moaned and all that shit about the job hunt, but when all I was hearing was the same shit over and over and over again, I just quit bitching. If someone asks, I'll keep it short because I don't want to get too into it, and everyone else I've talked to that's in a similar boat feels the way I do. Hell, trying to find a job doing ANYTHING with the way the economy is right now is harder than going spear-fishing for minnows in the middle of a hurricane while blind-folded. Granted, I have a part-time job at a Game Stop, it's not enough to go on for very long. I can do free-lance work for graphics and websites, but so can anyone with an understanding of Adobe Creative Suite and the right books.
I know that things will work out one day. I've got my own issues with organized religion, but I believe that things happen for a reason, and that things happen in their own time. Since my cousin's wedding, I've noticed that a lot of my friends are either recently engaged, or getting married soon. I'm happy for them, really, but it's not my time yet. I know this. Hell, I can barely support myself as is. Do I want to get married? Eventually, yes. Is it a huge concern of mine? No. It just amazes me how many people I know have found the person they want to spend their lives with while I'm sitting here at a Qdoba by myself debating if I should work on some more chain maille or head to the nearby Border's and read something before I go to work later.
Not much else I can think of right now, so I'll cut this here. As per normal, ask me anything and I'll get back to ya. I've been "out of the loop" for so long that I decided to get back into the LJ and facebook and myspace world, checking them regularly, posting shit, etc.
Catch ya on the flip side.