(no subject)
Two people noticed I was gone. Gold stars to both of you. And now I'm not sure whether to feel loved that I was missed or to be saddened that people worry after only a few days of my being gone.
There was an earthquake on Tuesday that caused a tsunami warning for the entire west coast. When the earthquake started I was in the bathroom, washing my hands with the hot water. The water heater started to rattle and I thought, "Great, it's going to explode." So I walked out and into my bedroom and realised everything in there was shaking, too, and concluded that a water heater couldn't do that. I am so smert.
I ended up on the phone with the parental unit sometime later (I said "ended up on the phone" because I can't remember who called who) and she said, in a very serious voice, "If I see anything coming (referring to a tsunami wave), I'll call and let you know." And I said, "Uh.. thanks." I'm still not sure if she was being serious or not. And if she was, a call to warn me would only give me ten or fifteen seconds to do anything. And I figure I'd spend at least five of them saying, "HOLYSHITOHMYGOD." So in the end, I'd be doomed with or without the call.
It's also interesting to point out that if there were to be a tsunami, or a deadly earthquake, my only real concern would be to get all three of my cats out and safe. After the tsunami alert on TV, I started devising plans and becoming disheartened to the fact that it's hard to save three cats. With two, you can carry one in each arm, but if you have three what are you supposed to do with the extra cat? I thought about putting two in one arm, but which two? None of them really get along that well and it would kind of doom us all if they were to fight and get out of my grasp. They'd either get crushed or drown, and I'd have the same fate because I wasted so much god damn time trying to safe the ungrateful bastards. So I thought maybe I could grab the nearest cat to me (which would most likely be Roo, if we're to assume that I'm in my room at the time of the earthquake or tsunami) and throw her in the cat carrier and then grab another cat (most likely Josephine, because she'd be too lazy to care about her impending death, while as Jasper would be completely freaking out) and throw her in the carrier too. They'd fight, but they couldn't get out.
Which seems all good and dandy except for the fact that where the hell would I get enough time to do all of it? Nowhere! Thus, I am screwed. Unless of course, scientists could finally come up with a bloody way to accurately, and in a timely fashion, predict such disasters and warn us so we have ample time to gather our cats (and computers) to safety.
In other news, I have t-minus 45 minutes until I have to babysit the spawn of Satan. And while I'm not a huge fan of children, there are some upsides to this. One, free access to the fridge. I also no longer feel guilt in eating her food because she doesn't pay for it. She (my sister, by the way) gets 380 dollars a month from the Food Stamp People (shut up, I know that's not what they're really called) for basically 1 1/4th people. Which is pure insanity if you ask me, but it also means free food for us so I don't complain. Plus, I figure when I move out that my mother can use Jennifer's (my sister) money for food, thus saving money, thus sending the money she saves to me. Which will be fantastic because I'll probably never get a job on account to me being a social defect.
Two, free access to cable. It's crappy cable, but I survive on five channels, so crappy cable is just fine. And the third and final reason, I'M GETTING PAID. Finally. After a month or so of babysitting with no reward, I'm finally getting the coveted dough that sustains me as a greedy person. She isn't exactly rolling in it, so I won't be either, but something is better than nothing. But this also means I'll be babysitting full time, which blows monkeys, but I'll learn to deal. And also, by "full time" I mean from 4 to midnight everyday except Mondays and Wednesdays. I figure the parental unit will lend her services every once in awhile, but I'll still be mainly on my own. And next Tuesday I'm babysitting from 7 a.m. until 4 p.m. Sucks much? I think so.
This means I'll have to get some more books from the library to hold me over. I got Insomnia by Stephen King which, at 800 pages, looked promising to keep me busy for the next several years, but the main character is an old man with insomnia and I don't know about the rest of you, but I get really into books, and reading about an old man with insomnia is exhausting. I didn't get to sleep until about four last night after reading about 50 pages because, get this, I had insomnia. Plus, I don't find reading about old people to be all that thrilling. I know that's a broad generalisation of old people to assume that they're all boring, but most of them are. And I'm just not interested in reading about some old guy's aches and pains and memories of the good ol' days. This is also why I never finished Tuesday's with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Both about old men! And thus, not in the least bit interesting to me.
As a final note, I got a call from a chick I talked to occasionally at school, Ann-Marie, who also had her friend DJ on the line and I was invited to a party tomorrow. And I'm going. Aaaaaah.
There was an earthquake on Tuesday that caused a tsunami warning for the entire west coast. When the earthquake started I was in the bathroom, washing my hands with the hot water. The water heater started to rattle and I thought, "Great, it's going to explode." So I walked out and into my bedroom and realised everything in there was shaking, too, and concluded that a water heater couldn't do that. I am so smert.
I ended up on the phone with the parental unit sometime later (I said "ended up on the phone" because I can't remember who called who) and she said, in a very serious voice, "If I see anything coming (referring to a tsunami wave), I'll call and let you know." And I said, "Uh.. thanks." I'm still not sure if she was being serious or not. And if she was, a call to warn me would only give me ten or fifteen seconds to do anything. And I figure I'd spend at least five of them saying, "HOLYSHITOHMYGOD." So in the end, I'd be doomed with or without the call.
It's also interesting to point out that if there were to be a tsunami, or a deadly earthquake, my only real concern would be to get all three of my cats out and safe. After the tsunami alert on TV, I started devising plans and becoming disheartened to the fact that it's hard to save three cats. With two, you can carry one in each arm, but if you have three what are you supposed to do with the extra cat? I thought about putting two in one arm, but which two? None of them really get along that well and it would kind of doom us all if they were to fight and get out of my grasp. They'd either get crushed or drown, and I'd have the same fate because I wasted so much god damn time trying to safe the ungrateful bastards. So I thought maybe I could grab the nearest cat to me (which would most likely be Roo, if we're to assume that I'm in my room at the time of the earthquake or tsunami) and throw her in the cat carrier and then grab another cat (most likely Josephine, because she'd be too lazy to care about her impending death, while as Jasper would be completely freaking out) and throw her in the carrier too. They'd fight, but they couldn't get out.
Which seems all good and dandy except for the fact that where the hell would I get enough time to do all of it? Nowhere! Thus, I am screwed. Unless of course, scientists could finally come up with a bloody way to accurately, and in a timely fashion, predict such disasters and warn us so we have ample time to gather our cats (and computers) to safety.
In other news, I have t-minus 45 minutes until I have to babysit the spawn of Satan. And while I'm not a huge fan of children, there are some upsides to this. One, free access to the fridge. I also no longer feel guilt in eating her food because she doesn't pay for it. She (my sister, by the way) gets 380 dollars a month from the Food Stamp People (shut up, I know that's not what they're really called) for basically 1 1/4th people. Which is pure insanity if you ask me, but it also means free food for us so I don't complain. Plus, I figure when I move out that my mother can use Jennifer's (my sister) money for food, thus saving money, thus sending the money she saves to me. Which will be fantastic because I'll probably never get a job on account to me being a social defect.
Two, free access to cable. It's crappy cable, but I survive on five channels, so crappy cable is just fine. And the third and final reason, I'M GETTING PAID. Finally. After a month or so of babysitting with no reward, I'm finally getting the coveted dough that sustains me as a greedy person. She isn't exactly rolling in it, so I won't be either, but something is better than nothing. But this also means I'll be babysitting full time, which blows monkeys, but I'll learn to deal. And also, by "full time" I mean from 4 to midnight everyday except Mondays and Wednesdays. I figure the parental unit will lend her services every once in awhile, but I'll still be mainly on my own. And next Tuesday I'm babysitting from 7 a.m. until 4 p.m. Sucks much? I think so.
This means I'll have to get some more books from the library to hold me over. I got Insomnia by Stephen King which, at 800 pages, looked promising to keep me busy for the next several years, but the main character is an old man with insomnia and I don't know about the rest of you, but I get really into books, and reading about an old man with insomnia is exhausting. I didn't get to sleep until about four last night after reading about 50 pages because, get this, I had insomnia. Plus, I don't find reading about old people to be all that thrilling. I know that's a broad generalisation of old people to assume that they're all boring, but most of them are. And I'm just not interested in reading about some old guy's aches and pains and memories of the good ol' days. This is also why I never finished Tuesday's with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Both about old men! And thus, not in the least bit interesting to me.
As a final note, I got a call from a chick I talked to occasionally at school, Ann-Marie, who also had her friend DJ on the line and I was invited to a party tomorrow. And I'm going. Aaaaaah.