Update
When I landed back in seattle, i felt 50% weaker then i felt in l.a. before i left i went to the beach. minutes before i had to return the rental car. i looked out at the ocean. no one was on the beach except me. I felt very present, and could feel the energy of the ocean pulling me, i saw a picture of myself. standing in front of the ocean. surrounded by air and peaceful energy. i think it was at that moment that i decided i needed to get back to l.a.
i think a large part of my frustrations stem from the non acceptance of los angeles as the center of the film industry. the idea of being on my own, crafting something completley under my own terms, and my own guidance was very attractive to my ego...as superficial and fake as hollywood is, i believe it is my own ego that causes me to be so anti-hollywood. yes very rarely is it great movies come out of hollywood, yes a large percentage of the population there are self-serving, backstabbing, surfaces oriented, trendy pricks. but this is true of any community.
not that i don't support independent moviemaking at whatever level. its important to remember that this is an art, even if an industry has turned much of it into business.
Walking to the Cage did not get into SIFF. There is a good deal of stress over that. I feel I have gone through as many steps neccesary to get in....I made a good movie, I did free work for the festival, I have had music videos and short films screen at NWFF, I have been involved in the film scene in seattle for quite some time. I have attended networking events, i have closed my eyes and wished hard when the clocks were 11:11....ect.
it is beyond my control, and this is exactly what needs to happen. however, i did get accepted at STIFF, and am in the process of putting together a press kit and trailer to be used as a device to get publications to review the film.
best case scenario, walk away with a good review, and perhaps even some kind of recognition by the festival? who knows....at the end of june I am headed back to Los Angeles to work my ass off. i will accept whatever situation i find myself in, and grow from there.
off to jiu jitsu.
i think a large part of my frustrations stem from the non acceptance of los angeles as the center of the film industry. the idea of being on my own, crafting something completley under my own terms, and my own guidance was very attractive to my ego...as superficial and fake as hollywood is, i believe it is my own ego that causes me to be so anti-hollywood. yes very rarely is it great movies come out of hollywood, yes a large percentage of the population there are self-serving, backstabbing, surfaces oriented, trendy pricks. but this is true of any community.
not that i don't support independent moviemaking at whatever level. its important to remember that this is an art, even if an industry has turned much of it into business.
Walking to the Cage did not get into SIFF. There is a good deal of stress over that. I feel I have gone through as many steps neccesary to get in....I made a good movie, I did free work for the festival, I have had music videos and short films screen at NWFF, I have been involved in the film scene in seattle for quite some time. I have attended networking events, i have closed my eyes and wished hard when the clocks were 11:11....ect.
it is beyond my control, and this is exactly what needs to happen. however, i did get accepted at STIFF, and am in the process of putting together a press kit and trailer to be used as a device to get publications to review the film.
best case scenario, walk away with a good review, and perhaps even some kind of recognition by the festival? who knows....at the end of june I am headed back to Los Angeles to work my ass off. i will accept whatever situation i find myself in, and grow from there.
off to jiu jitsu.