(no subject)
so im really confused right now. me and mackie have all these plans made for this month...the aquarium next weekend, ani difranco the following. things have been horrible. he lied to me about what he was doing the other night. and i got really upset and it dosent help my trust issues. i called an old friend and we will see what happens there who freakin knows. i feel like im doing the totally wrong thing sometimes, school, people, everything. then again sometimes, especially like this past week, i just go totally insane and fuck shit up until the storm passes. litereally. so im skipping school today to go hang out with my grandman for a while. i havent spent good quality time with her for a few weeks now, so school can just fuck off. then i have to work at 4-7 and MUST come home in order to win this pair of nice doc martens, steel toes for exceptionally cheapness. i dont know relationships are so confusing. i love mackie and all, but i also love myself. and if i put up with his crazyness and his needs he should put up with myne. i mean thats only fair. so im just gonna back off. for a while. just do my own thing, with my friends and just leave him alone. if its somethng he needs to get out of his system thats cool, but now that hes distrusted me and saying i distrusted him im just all confused and am going to leave it alone. ive showed how much i care so its his turn to show me or not. a dear person is moving to atlanta....THIS FALL...and going to savannah college of art and design. im not sure how i think anymore. why the mother hummer do women have to feel this way? huh? have periods and swollen tits just to feel even more insane for a 3-10 time window?!!! damint all to hell. i want to walk up the mountain and get that good food soon.