i'm ready to leave.
I've been back from NYC for a week already. I am ready to leave. I really am. I've just been on such an emotional high in the past two weeks. I come back and well, the high lasted a bit but now I just feel almost depressed. There's just nothing here really for me. Sure there is my family and some close friends, but I'm just ready to leave. I almost feel sick to my stomach. I don't know.
I just feel suffocated here and this is really the first time that I've felt this way. I'm being held back almost. I know where I'm going and I just can't leave. I can't let go...just yet. Unfortunately. It's just driving me nuts. Maybe this is almost a grass is greener on the other side type of thing. I don't know.
My life has just been so stagnant here since I graduated from Michigan. I feel like I'm almost not alive. There's almost no life in me I guess. I just need something to breathe that life back into me. And for the first time in so long, NYC and law school are a solution. I know they are. I am sure once I start school, things will change and I will feel differently. But that's how it goes. I just need to feel alive again. I miss that.
I mean, at least I'm back working at Stanford for a bit. That keeps me a bit occupied. And I will likely go to Brazil in a few weeks. God I miss Brazil. That will bring some life back into me. That was the last time I felt alive really. And well, last week in New York for the first time in so long. I'm counting down the days. In the meantime, all I'm left with are the pictures from last week's trip. My future neighborhood, friends, and school. Reminders of the future.
I just feel suffocated here and this is really the first time that I've felt this way. I'm being held back almost. I know where I'm going and I just can't leave. I can't let go...just yet. Unfortunately. It's just driving me nuts. Maybe this is almost a grass is greener on the other side type of thing. I don't know.
My life has just been so stagnant here since I graduated from Michigan. I feel like I'm almost not alive. There's almost no life in me I guess. I just need something to breathe that life back into me. And for the first time in so long, NYC and law school are a solution. I know they are. I am sure once I start school, things will change and I will feel differently. But that's how it goes. I just need to feel alive again. I miss that.
I mean, at least I'm back working at Stanford for a bit. That keeps me a bit occupied. And I will likely go to Brazil in a few weeks. God I miss Brazil. That will bring some life back into me. That was the last time I felt alive really. And well, last week in New York for the first time in so long. I'm counting down the days. In the meantime, all I'm left with are the pictures from last week's trip. My future neighborhood, friends, and school. Reminders of the future.