But I know the Difference Between Myself and My Reflection...

[vsa_dragons]

Ack...today has been, well okay I guess. I got home and just felt really crappy. I had a good day at school but the night before something had really gotten to me and it came back. I had come home to me dog, Brandy, and she was limping. According to Hollie, my stepmom, she's been doing that all weekend. I asked what had happened and she just is getting old. I thought about this and I realized my doggie IS getting old. And then I thought of my old dog, Church, who died a couple years ago. I had him since I was born and it made me sad to see him go. Then I realized I might loose my other dog, Brandy, and I started bawling. I ended up crying myself to sleep (Not before taking out the sadness of this realization on myself). I don't want to loose my dog...she means alot to me.
And THEN, today I got home and didn't take my medicine (forgot, again) and so I had an anxiety attack which caused me to think about dying. That just made my day OH SO much better. Sitting on my bedroom floor, hugging my knees, and crying so hard I couldn't breath isn't exactly fun. All these people tell me to "Call when you feel like hurting yourself" and whatever, but what am I supposed to say? "I feel like crap, and I want to cut." Oh yeah, real nice convo. 'Specially if I'm crying. I hate crying in front of people and don't want to force my issues onto others.

Whatever, enough ranting. I just need to take my medicine and fall back in line...