i found all these pictures
clarice & marcel & me
i like my job for once which is weird, school starts soon. technically, i'm a trained barista, i think, which is pretty cool. also i think a nice looking thirty year old man that comes in and gets a small coffee and peice of pumpkin bread likes me. i wish i didnt laugh so much, i noticed latey i've been giggling at everything and it's probably really annoying. i just think everything is ridiculous. and then people think i'm high. i wish i didnt have to spend my money on anything, and i wish i could tell people how i feel about them without being awkward. belly boat's song "I want to solve the riddle of an outdoors made stark naked on a day of late november" makes my heart melt. haha, it's so sweet, i wished they werent so mean to us when we played with them. i'm really surprised to still be really connected with liam and ian back in new jersey out of all the guys i know. those are the pure heart boys, i miss them i can't wait to see them again. me and ian talk about him driving me around for once and about how i'm going to be twenty and all the crazy shit we've done. why is everyone so nice here? it freaks me out so much that i, unintentionally, freak them out because i dont get it. it's so great. i still feel lonely here sometimes even though i have really amazing friends here. i miss stina's house being two houses away and getting phone calls from her at 2am to watch television and smoke and talk. and sleepovers at celeste's with nicole and chili's bottomless chips sunday morning breakfasts we had. and how i use to sew at her house and we ate all the time and how celeste knew all about perfumes. i need to grow up, i guess? and figure out what i'm suppose to do/ to be doing.
hahah okayyy!!!! sorry!