Living for the Hype
Last few weeks have had their ups and downs. Insomnia and all the mental bullshit that comes with it being the major down, the revival of hype within my soul as a result of watching Evo 2011 being the big up.
Talked to my Dad for a bit, as long as he could talk anyway. He's handling the new rounds of chemo/rads well enough, asking me if I think he'd get in trouble for hooking a keg to his feeding tube. Did I ever mention my Dad has a nearly unshakable sense of humor? I'm gonna write him a letter soon since talking on the phone is too demanding for him. I'd rather visit him, but it's better than nothing.
Insomniaiaiaia. It's been going off and on for a while now. I remember I had a week or so of getting solid restful sleep a while back, and all around that has been a blur of either sleeplessness or unrestful sleep. I experienced what I'm calling "hype overload" during the weekend and ended up sleeping pretty well for a couple days in a row, but I still can't maintain a decent pattern. It probably has a lot to do with being a third shift worker, but I'm thinking that seeing a doctor may be in order since I'm tired of being tired (heh) and unfocused.
Evo...I didn't get to go because money is a bitch, basically. Watching the stream at home was still pretty exciting though. I concluded that I no longer have room to make fun of people watching televised sports. They're just nerds of a different type, I guess. I'll definitely be saving a lot harder for next year. After so many moments where I picked my jaw up off the floor afterward, there's no way I could miss next year and be at peace with myself.
I'm starting to realize that part of my fundamental motivation problem with fighters is that I don't actually -want- to win enough. I have taken the "no ego" approach a little too far. Focusing on the moment and not being distracted by the ultimate outcome is fine and good when you're actually in combat. But the basis for why you're working to get to a competitive level should be because you want to win, not just to objectively measure your strength. I'll need to develop higher self esteem in the process of retraining my thought patterns to that end.
Started writing a little bit again. Working on developing characters and a story for the Fallout games, as well as looking into how to develop content using the G.E.C.K. for PC versions. Since practically anything is possible through G.E.C.K. with the right tools and know how, I figure this would be a fun form of expression to share with other gamers. I don't have the time for D&D with my work and fighter grinding schedules, after all.
Taking a vacation of sorts next weekend. Not going anywhere since I can't afford it (and it's kinda funny because I totally forgot Magstock is happening that weekend when I asked for the time off), but I am going to...
-Grind grind grind the training hours for Street Fighter 4 and Marvel 3.
-Stop being a slackass with cleaning my apartment
-Possibly start the groundwork for the HRAP project.
-Simply enjoy not having to do the money grind for a week. I don't dislike my job, but it's good to break the monotony.
Now to break some faces...or finish my data entries, rather...
Talked to my Dad for a bit, as long as he could talk anyway. He's handling the new rounds of chemo/rads well enough, asking me if I think he'd get in trouble for hooking a keg to his feeding tube. Did I ever mention my Dad has a nearly unshakable sense of humor? I'm gonna write him a letter soon since talking on the phone is too demanding for him. I'd rather visit him, but it's better than nothing.
Insomniaiaiaia. It's been going off and on for a while now. I remember I had a week or so of getting solid restful sleep a while back, and all around that has been a blur of either sleeplessness or unrestful sleep. I experienced what I'm calling "hype overload" during the weekend and ended up sleeping pretty well for a couple days in a row, but I still can't maintain a decent pattern. It probably has a lot to do with being a third shift worker, but I'm thinking that seeing a doctor may be in order since I'm tired of being tired (heh) and unfocused.
Evo...I didn't get to go because money is a bitch, basically. Watching the stream at home was still pretty exciting though. I concluded that I no longer have room to make fun of people watching televised sports. They're just nerds of a different type, I guess. I'll definitely be saving a lot harder for next year. After so many moments where I picked my jaw up off the floor afterward, there's no way I could miss next year and be at peace with myself.
I'm starting to realize that part of my fundamental motivation problem with fighters is that I don't actually -want- to win enough. I have taken the "no ego" approach a little too far. Focusing on the moment and not being distracted by the ultimate outcome is fine and good when you're actually in combat. But the basis for why you're working to get to a competitive level should be because you want to win, not just to objectively measure your strength. I'll need to develop higher self esteem in the process of retraining my thought patterns to that end.
Started writing a little bit again. Working on developing characters and a story for the Fallout games, as well as looking into how to develop content using the G.E.C.K. for PC versions. Since practically anything is possible through G.E.C.K. with the right tools and know how, I figure this would be a fun form of expression to share with other gamers. I don't have the time for D&D with my work and fighter grinding schedules, after all.
Taking a vacation of sorts next weekend. Not going anywhere since I can't afford it (and it's kinda funny because I totally forgot Magstock is happening that weekend when I asked for the time off), but I am going to...
-Grind grind grind the training hours for Street Fighter 4 and Marvel 3.
-Stop being a slackass with cleaning my apartment
-Possibly start the groundwork for the HRAP project.
-Simply enjoy not having to do the money grind for a week. I don't dislike my job, but it's good to break the monotony.
Now to break some faces...or finish my data entries, rather...