Musings.
Yeah, I guess there's going to be additional updates. Lucky you - whomever it is that still reads this.
I've been thinking lately, about...well, about a lot of things. And one of the conclusions I've reached is that I should be writing more. Writing at all, really. It's too easy to fill the time with other things, easier things that, in the end, aren't really worth much of anything at all.
Not to say that my writing necessarily has any value, of course. But it's an exercise and an outlet, something that I enjoy and something that, if I were to truly commit to it, might lead to more.
I thought about making a commitment, saying that I would write or post an update every day, but I know that I wouldn't end up holding to it. So instead I'm going to say that I'm going to do more than I have been, and hopefully post something - be it a short story, progress on something bigger or, hell, just a journal entry - at least once a week. As to what shape they'll take, I honestly don't know.
As to what else I've been doing, I suppose there's enough there to bear mentioning.
First of all, I've been playing Lord of the Rings Online. It's similar to WoW in a lot of ways, and different in a few. More heavily plot-based, a larger purpose behind the quests, it's been an enjoyable experience, but also very, very frustrating, especially recently. A lot of the issues, I suppose, stem from the fact that the player base is small. It's hard to find people who need the same group quests, nevermind being interested in running instances. Now that I've hit the level cap on my hunter I feel the urge to explore the raid content in the game - unfortunately, not only are there a limited number of kinships running that content, there is also an abundance of hunters. I have no interest in leveling another character through the exact same quests as I just finished on this character, which leaves me at something of an impasse. I'm wondering if I won't be going back to WoW for the expansion, if only for the hope of being able to find 9 other people and being able to actually raid again...
I've also been playing Rock Band a lot, trying to improve at plastic guitar in preparation for the sequel. I've also been finding more and more as I play that I wish I were playing a real guitar, instead. Of course, I'm not sure how long that inclination would last, given that I remember how frustrating it was to learn to play a real instrument - and I learned the basics of a few, back in school. The other issue, I suppose, is that if I were to play a real guitar, and to get reasonably good at it, I would want to have other people to play with, and that isn't really an option at the moment.
I guess what it all comes down to is that I'm feeling somewhat limited by the solitude right now, at the same time that I'm appreciating this opportunity to try to figure out what really matters to me, beyond the expectations and demands of the people around me. As strange as it sounds, I'm learning a lot about myself just by acknowledging and understanding my own reactions to music, to words on a page, to the things that I immerse myself in.
Am I a better person for that understanding? I don't know. Probably not.
But at least I will hopefully understand why I make the decisions I do. And looking back, I understand some of the decisions I've made; I find that I don't regret them as much as I might have thought.
And that has value, even if it sometimes comes with pain.
I've been thinking lately, about...well, about a lot of things. And one of the conclusions I've reached is that I should be writing more. Writing at all, really. It's too easy to fill the time with other things, easier things that, in the end, aren't really worth much of anything at all.
Not to say that my writing necessarily has any value, of course. But it's an exercise and an outlet, something that I enjoy and something that, if I were to truly commit to it, might lead to more.
I thought about making a commitment, saying that I would write or post an update every day, but I know that I wouldn't end up holding to it. So instead I'm going to say that I'm going to do more than I have been, and hopefully post something - be it a short story, progress on something bigger or, hell, just a journal entry - at least once a week. As to what shape they'll take, I honestly don't know.
As to what else I've been doing, I suppose there's enough there to bear mentioning.
First of all, I've been playing Lord of the Rings Online. It's similar to WoW in a lot of ways, and different in a few. More heavily plot-based, a larger purpose behind the quests, it's been an enjoyable experience, but also very, very frustrating, especially recently. A lot of the issues, I suppose, stem from the fact that the player base is small. It's hard to find people who need the same group quests, nevermind being interested in running instances. Now that I've hit the level cap on my hunter I feel the urge to explore the raid content in the game - unfortunately, not only are there a limited number of kinships running that content, there is also an abundance of hunters. I have no interest in leveling another character through the exact same quests as I just finished on this character, which leaves me at something of an impasse. I'm wondering if I won't be going back to WoW for the expansion, if only for the hope of being able to find 9 other people and being able to actually raid again...
I've also been playing Rock Band a lot, trying to improve at plastic guitar in preparation for the sequel. I've also been finding more and more as I play that I wish I were playing a real guitar, instead. Of course, I'm not sure how long that inclination would last, given that I remember how frustrating it was to learn to play a real instrument - and I learned the basics of a few, back in school. The other issue, I suppose, is that if I were to play a real guitar, and to get reasonably good at it, I would want to have other people to play with, and that isn't really an option at the moment.
I guess what it all comes down to is that I'm feeling somewhat limited by the solitude right now, at the same time that I'm appreciating this opportunity to try to figure out what really matters to me, beyond the expectations and demands of the people around me. As strange as it sounds, I'm learning a lot about myself just by acknowledging and understanding my own reactions to music, to words on a page, to the things that I immerse myself in.
Am I a better person for that understanding? I don't know. Probably not.
But at least I will hopefully understand why I make the decisions I do. And looking back, I understand some of the decisions I've made; I find that I don't regret them as much as I might have thought.
And that has value, even if it sometimes comes with pain.