i was trying to write a paper.
i don't know anything anymore. i don't know anything except that i can be totally strong one minute about leaving him and being okay and then an hour later, i'm a mess just thinking about. that an hour later, i'm in tears, begging God not to take him away from me or make it so i have to leave. that i'm asking God to please, please, pleae be on my side in love. this one time. that could He please just erase pete from my mind? so that in the morning, i won't remember his face or how much i love him? so that i won't remember what it feels like for him to touch me, kiss me, hold me, hug me? so i won't remember the sound of his voice or the way he smells or his smile or the color of his eyes? the way he laughs, the way he looked when he cried? the way he made me feel. how happy he makes me? couLdn't He just please erase him?