Hurt
Right now, I feel a lack of trust.
And I felt it as growing around me and closing in, but never thought it would sneak up on me from behind, from someone I hold dear.
There are few people I trust, and I trusted with all I have to give despite my insecurities and doubting at first, I trusted, and I should have known, that just like everyone else in the world that I had been convinced of lies and betrayal, they can lie too. And they can break my heart a little more, knowing they're the little hope I had left in humanity.
I've tried very hard, so very hard, to change alot of things about myself just to make others happy, but their patterns of hurting me continue despite the efforts.
I don't know if I'll be sad for long, I don't know how long it'll take me to trust again, I don't know how much more my very weak heart can take, but I do know that it feels extremely hurt and it's closing itself off from the world again, learned it's lesson about being given away so easily.
I'm just very sad right now, but I think it will pass.
I'm very sad right now, but some very stupid part of me still wants to believe and heal and keep growing.
I'm lonely. Lonelier than I've felt in a long time.
And I felt it as growing around me and closing in, but never thought it would sneak up on me from behind, from someone I hold dear.
There are few people I trust, and I trusted with all I have to give despite my insecurities and doubting at first, I trusted, and I should have known, that just like everyone else in the world that I had been convinced of lies and betrayal, they can lie too. And they can break my heart a little more, knowing they're the little hope I had left in humanity.
I've tried very hard, so very hard, to change alot of things about myself just to make others happy, but their patterns of hurting me continue despite the efforts.
I don't know if I'll be sad for long, I don't know how long it'll take me to trust again, I don't know how much more my very weak heart can take, but I do know that it feels extremely hurt and it's closing itself off from the world again, learned it's lesson about being given away so easily.
I'm just very sad right now, but I think it will pass.
I'm very sad right now, but some very stupid part of me still wants to believe and heal and keep growing.
I'm lonely. Lonelier than I've felt in a long time.