(no subject)
Why all of a sudden do i feel guilty again? Why do i feel like....i owe him another chance?
goddamnit i dont want to feel like this, i never want to feel the way he made me feel....i hated myself in that relationship, if you can even call it that
do i really need someone else to make me feel worth something...i didnt before him
but i still hear some of it in my head
"no guy is gonna want to date a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks, better start running again"
"Weak""Stupid""FAILURE" "A good girlfriend wouldnt want to be with her friends she'd want to be with me"
"You don't need to go to track practice, they dont need you or want you there"
"They wouldn't miss you if you were gone, i mean who would? Not like you're some prize."
Thats the big one. Who would miss me? Hell i wouldn't miss me. I'm a broken mass huddled in the corner avoiding anything that actually would make a difference. I can't get over...anything, every little thing sticks in my head and my heart. feels like...someones put a million tiny needles all over my body...
what an image is that
everytime i move they dig in just a little bit deeper, just a miniscule amount until soon theyre going to pierce everything that matters and then...nothing will matter
What the HELL is making me think of him? So what if he called, he's called before, it didn't send me swirling back into the blackened abyss....why can he do this to me? how can he do this to me?
Im strong damnit
im weak
Im fucking weak.
i cant fucking do this
Doesnt everyone deserve a second chance?
He says he changed, he said he misses me, and wants me back
even with everything, even knowing my past, my failure, my broken me
i am broken
who accidentally OD's on fucking advil.
really? good thing no one even noticed i was shaking that week
those would have been some fun questions....
im lost....find me please?
goddamnit i dont want to feel like this, i never want to feel the way he made me feel....i hated myself in that relationship, if you can even call it that
do i really need someone else to make me feel worth something...i didnt before him
but i still hear some of it in my head
"no guy is gonna want to date a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks, better start running again"
"Weak""Stupid""FAILURE" "A good girlfriend wouldnt want to be with her friends she'd want to be with me"
"You don't need to go to track practice, they dont need you or want you there"
"They wouldn't miss you if you were gone, i mean who would? Not like you're some prize."
Thats the big one. Who would miss me? Hell i wouldn't miss me. I'm a broken mass huddled in the corner avoiding anything that actually would make a difference. I can't get over...anything, every little thing sticks in my head and my heart. feels like...someones put a million tiny needles all over my body...
what an image is that
everytime i move they dig in just a little bit deeper, just a miniscule amount until soon theyre going to pierce everything that matters and then...nothing will matter
What the HELL is making me think of him? So what if he called, he's called before, it didn't send me swirling back into the blackened abyss....why can he do this to me? how can he do this to me?
Im strong damnit
im weak
Im fucking weak.
i cant fucking do this
Doesnt everyone deserve a second chance?
He says he changed, he said he misses me, and wants me back
even with everything, even knowing my past, my failure, my broken me
i am broken
who accidentally OD's on fucking advil.
really? good thing no one even noticed i was shaking that week
those would have been some fun questions....
im lost....find me please?