TITLE: Song and Dance
RATING: R
FANDOM: Glee/Princess Tutu
CHARACTERS/PAIRINGS: light Klaine, but morphs into Kurt/Mytho, Neko-sensei/Lord Tubinton, Quinn/Rue/Puck, Santana/Brittany/Lillie, Rachel/Pique/Mercedes, Tina/Autor, Finn/Ahiru, Dave/Lysander, Blaine/Femio, Artie/Fakir/Mike Chang, Sue/Drosselmeyer, Sam/Freya, and fatherly!Schuester/daughter-ly!Uzura
SUMMARY: AU like whoa. Drosselmeyer taps into the mind of a dark-hearted ally and soon New Directions are pulled into a story filled to the brim with magic, romance, and a darkness that only Kurt can fight.
WARNINGS: AU, slash, weird plotlines, magic, femmslash, dark humor, dark plots, sexy times, threesomes, rape, angst and a lot of comic relief. Believe me, we’re gonna need all the comic relief we can get.
AU: New Directions goes to Kinkan City. Princess Tutu students are about 16 or 17, to make the sexy scenes a little less creepy. Magic exists. Most pairings from the end of Season 2 have been dissolved except for Klaine and maybe Brittana. Otherwise… they either never happened or they’re all on breaks.
STATUS: Multi-chaptered.
DEDICATION: For
moonyazu9. You're, like, a partner-in-crime or something. Seriously. ILY.
Chapter One: Prologue
I need entertainment.
And I see far and wide, not just my little creation: Kinkan City.
I was drawn to the performances in New York City, and was disappointed that I couldn’t just write New Directions in as the winner. The world is most disappointing that way. No. The scope of the little immortality machine only went through Kinkan City, and that was far away from the events in New York City, or even in Lima, Ohio.
But I needed New Directions. And for that to happen, they needed to be in Kinkan City.
And since I had already gone to both Rue and Duck and had made them Princess Kraehe and Princess Tutu, respectively, I decided to make one more stop. The famed Sue Sylvester was my kind of woman: young, manipulative, sexy, and just what I needed to get New Directions into my story.
Sue. Sue Sylvester…
That is the last time I buff my nails with rubbing alcohol. Sue Sylvester was hearing weird voices in her head and that was never a good thing.
Ever since I had relinquished my vendetta against the glee club in favor of mourning my sister, I needed something else to bide my time with besides planning my come-back to the world of cheerleading. After school let out, I was thinking of taking a trip around the world or something. But after only a few hours thought, I put it to rest in favor of watching So You Think You Can Dance? and throwing water balloons at the television every time something reminded me of what those crazy kids in glee had gotten away with at assemblies. Soon my entire stack was gone, and so I fell asleep in front of the television.
Hopefully it was just some weird infomercial drifting into to my brain, because the voice and visions I was seeing were very, very odd.
I had flown across the sky, almost like someone with telepathic powers in those odd Marvel movies, and had alighted on a clock tower, on a platform in front of the face. If I was starring in Wicked, I hope to god I was Elphaba (Berry and Porcelain had gotten to me, I’m afraid). Checking my skin, I had a feeling I was the other bimbo in that show.
I looked across from me, and saw an old man. He looked crazy, dressed in a long black coat, with white gloves on his hands and black dress pants. I couldn’t see the shirt he was wearing, but I knew he was wearing one, as I didn’t see the pale white of skin that was literally glowing in the evening shadows of the almost medieval location my dream had taken me. His white hair was sticking out at odd angles, and I had to bite my bottom lip to not say anything about it. It was worse than one Will Schuester’s horrid locks, and that was saying a lot.
Sue Sylvester. Welcome to my creation.
I looked around me at the city, which had sky-scrapers like any other city, but there were still cobblestone streets and people rolling around in horse-drawn cars. I heard the clock strike one in the morning, and the clock told a most interesting story below me: a prince and a raven doing battle, and at the end of the show, the prince loses and stabs himself. A most morbid tale, but judging from the lands surrounding me, they weren’t trying to save the children as much. I didn’t even see a church anywhere.
This is Kinkan City. A most real city in Germany. I want you to convince the New Directions to come here.
I stared at the old man and thought about it. “What’s in it for me?” I’m not sure why I believed that such a story-book city was real, and why I decided that taking that damned glee club here was something I wanted.
Entertainment for the summer. A get-away from that little town of yours. And possibly a wonderfully bittersweet ending to an already perfect plot…
Everyone knows I cannot resist temptation to mess up a certain Spanish teacher’s life. But my sister’s death had taken a toll, and I did want out of Lima for a couple of months.
My school is on Spring Break still, as it is on a different schedule than most other schools. I will give you the two weeks they have left to get here, and then, let the games begin. You will make a stunning co-author, my dear.
“Co-author?”
I am the one with the immortal writing machine. Even in death I am the all mighty creator of this universe…
“I want 50%. We title this shindig ‘Song and Dance,’ by Sue Sylvester and Old Man Crazy Pants.”
My name is Drosselmeyer.
“Same thing. But since you drive a hard bargain, I have nothing to say to you but ‘I’ll see you in two weeks’.”
Really I had no idea what would go on this summer, but I needed this to happen, and something about the crazy old man’s words soothed me into believing this was a good idea. Maybe it was, but the road to a happy ending never goes smoothly, does it?
“William?”
“Oh god, Sue. It’s five in the morning.”
“This couldn’t wait. I need you to get New Directions to Germany.”
“Why?”
“You make up an excuse.”
“Sue! What the hell is going on that you can’t tell me?”
“Don’t bounce that righteous crap on me. Just say the kids need a break from the States thanks to that crushing blow in New York. Berry should at least buy it…”
“What’s the catch?”
“Bring that Anderson kid. You’re little hair mini-me…”
“Blaine?”
“And you’re newest recruit, Dave Karofsky.”
“He’s all ready a potential new recruit.”
“Then this will be a rehearsal for him. Also… Figgins will only let me do this if he gets to go as well.”
“You and Figgins will be joining us?”
“Yes. I’ve got a friend in the city, Blaine can get us straight from Lima to Kinkan-that the location I’ve picked out-and Figgins wants an excuse to wear lederhosen and eat German sausage.”
“Oh god… what’s in it for me?”
“Cultural enrichment, free housing at Kinkan Boarding School of the Arts, and about three months away from Lima, Ohio.”
“…”
“William?”
“Okay. I’ll talk to Rachel, and she’ll be sure and give the news out to the other members.”
“Great. We’ll meet later today at the school. I’ll be sure and have at least the front doors unlocked for you ragtag bunch of misfits. Go back to sleep, William. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye-“
Click.
“Great.”
Click.
“Mr. Schue?”
“Rachel. Sorry to call you so early this morning-“
“No problem. I’ve been up since dawn anyway. Daddy and Papa wanted to watch the summer sunrise, and it rose at precisely 5:27 this morning. I’ve been up since then.”
“I need you to send a mass text or… whatever you kids do these days. We’re having an emergency glee club meeting at school. Tell Kurt to bring Blaine, and call Dave Karofsky even though he’s not quite a member yet…”
“What for?”
“A summer New Directions retreat in Germany.”
TBC