man oh man
i am so alone...
nobody is home cause alex is gone, as you know. stephanie left for europe today, so i cant call her. joe is in alaska, so i cant call him. i cant call heather cause she's always at school. and those are the people i talk to most.
boys suck...
i realized that i haven't ever had a real boyfriend that i really like and can be open about without getting dissapproval from some direction, or haven't screwed over. or i simply didn't know about him...odd. josh, my first boyfriend, and i dumped him because i didn't really like him. john, i screwed over, bad, and i still regret it. dan, illegal, i can't stand him, many of my close friends dissapproved, he lied to me, the list goes on. jeff, i had no clue that i was going out with him. he assumed we were goig out and assumed we broke up, i guess. i didn't even find out we ever went out, until months later when my best friend was going out with him. i want a boyfriend who will walk around in public holding my hand, not being afraid of what everyone thinks of me, and i can do the same with him. HOW HARD IS THAT? why are all the perfect ones taken, gay, or not interested? am i just not good enough for them? what the fuck? maybe i'm too picky, i mean asking for someone who isn't ashamed of me is too much to ask right? WRONG!!! i know i'm only 15 and there will be many other oppertunities, but honestly, i don't care. i want a guy now. not a while from now. grrrrrrr.
nobody is home cause alex is gone, as you know. stephanie left for europe today, so i cant call her. joe is in alaska, so i cant call him. i cant call heather cause she's always at school. and those are the people i talk to most.
boys suck...
i realized that i haven't ever had a real boyfriend that i really like and can be open about without getting dissapproval from some direction, or haven't screwed over. or i simply didn't know about him...odd. josh, my first boyfriend, and i dumped him because i didn't really like him. john, i screwed over, bad, and i still regret it. dan, illegal, i can't stand him, many of my close friends dissapproved, he lied to me, the list goes on. jeff, i had no clue that i was going out with him. he assumed we were goig out and assumed we broke up, i guess. i didn't even find out we ever went out, until months later when my best friend was going out with him. i want a boyfriend who will walk around in public holding my hand, not being afraid of what everyone thinks of me, and i can do the same with him. HOW HARD IS THAT? why are all the perfect ones taken, gay, or not interested? am i just not good enough for them? what the fuck? maybe i'm too picky, i mean asking for someone who isn't ashamed of me is too much to ask right? WRONG!!! i know i'm only 15 and there will be many other oppertunities, but honestly, i don't care. i want a guy now. not a while from now. grrrrrrr.