The discovery that life, friends, health, dwindles....
I decided yesterday that I probably don't really mind being alone forever, though I am happy for those that aren't. It's just too much effort to try to keep someone else happy, when you're not. Plus, if they are happy, lots of times they don't even realize that you're making an effort. I found out that I am sicker than I thought,, different issues, but significant, and I don't know if it really matters anymore. All I know is that the few people I care about, well, it just doesn't seem to click. I don't want maudlin sympathy, but I don't need to be anyones dart board either. I care about them. I don't need to be harangued about issues we disagree on right now. I can simply agree that we differ in our interpretations of things. I know this is vague but the person in particular I am talking about would be deeply hurt if I went into detail and I would never knowingly hurt someone.
I'd like to go somewhere...different. Just for a few days, somewhere interesting. These walls, though adequate, are feeling like a cage. My balance has worsened a lot so I need someone for that sort of jaunt, so........it may not ever happen. I am now officially whining. I hate whining by the way. Too bad I am such a wimp.
Anyhow, I am now officially on a low glycemic diet so I don't die too fast or too happy.. Tell me THAT dosn't suck.
LOL, I am sticking to it pretty well because I keep getting a mental picture of me on the floor, dead, surrounded with 30 or so donut boxes (empty) and a big ole sugar rimmed smile on my face. I have that medical alert thingy, so I'll try to press the button before my last bite.....
Even I think the whole thing is funny sometimes....jeeze, who woulda thunk???
I better make cat arrangements....................
I'd like to go somewhere...different. Just for a few days, somewhere interesting. These walls, though adequate, are feeling like a cage. My balance has worsened a lot so I need someone for that sort of jaunt, so........it may not ever happen. I am now officially whining. I hate whining by the way. Too bad I am such a wimp.
Anyhow, I am now officially on a low glycemic diet so I don't die too fast or too happy.. Tell me THAT dosn't suck.
LOL, I am sticking to it pretty well because I keep getting a mental picture of me on the floor, dead, surrounded with 30 or so donut boxes (empty) and a big ole sugar rimmed smile on my face. I have that medical alert thingy, so I'll try to press the button before my last bite.....
Even I think the whole thing is funny sometimes....jeeze, who woulda thunk???
I better make cat arrangements....................