Be My Teddy Bear Chapter 1/?
Title: Be My Teddy Bear Chapter 1
Rating: PG-13
Author: Vovkulak (Rebekkah)
Summary: Sam breaks up with Kurt, leaving him humiliated and heartbroken. With a little help from the cheerios, Kurt comes up with a plan: Get a fake boyfriend to make Sam completely and utterly jealous. The lucky winner? Puck. And he's not too happy about it.
Author's Note: This is based on a prompt from the Glee_Fluff_meme. Though, I should warn that there is no Kurt/Puck pairing. This is just a friendship fic. Reviews are always welcome. Hope you enjoy. The story is under the cut.
When Kurt Hummel imagined his first experience with having a boyfriend, he never would have thought it would end like this. He'd imagined loving, lingering kisses being placed on his lips between classes and late night rendezvous to the park in the middle of the night. But yet, there Sam stood in front of him, saying words that Kurt couldn't comprehend. All he saw was Sam's mouth moving in what seemed like slow motion. He pictured it as it would have looked like in a movie, and he almost laughed out loud. Then he heard the next two words.
"It's over."
The low mono toned words split through his head so fast, it sent a fast flash of light into his eyes, momentarily blinding him. Kurt stumbled back a little, squeezing his eyes shut. Shaking his head lightly, he tried to comprehend all the thoughts, which made his head throb even more. He heard Sam's footsteps come up beside him.
"I...I don't get it," he muttered, forcing his eyes open. Sam stood beside him, one hand hovering above his shoulder, quivering slightly, as he hesitated whether to put it there or not. Kurt made the decision for him by smacking the muscular hand away and stood up straight, taking a deep breath. He could feel blood rush to his cheeks, flushing them a deep crimson color. He wiped at them furiously.
"Four months," he said bitterly, spitting the words at Sam. "Four months, and you decide this now?" He twisted around, crossing his arms over his chest. Sam stepped up closer behind him, so close that his chin was floating over his left shoulder. "Why?" He whipped around, startling Sam, making him jump back a little.
As Kurt watched him, Sam shifted nervously, running a hand through his shaggy blond hair. He licked at his dry, cracked lips, contemplating what to say. His eyes quickly shifted from Kurt to the near-empty hallway, making sure no one else was listening in.
"There's someone else." His voice was low and controlled, hazel eyes lifting up to glare at Kurt.
Kurt felt his heart drop in his chest. "Who is he?" His voice came out as a slight squeak, and he closed his eyes, mentally telling himself to keep his emotions under control. He sucked in his lower lip and chewed on it gently, forcing his eyes open to look at Sam.
He paused, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. "Actually, her name is Anita."
Kurt felt himself sinking into the locker, his lips trembling slightly. "But...you're gay," he breathed.
"Shut up!," he hissed angrily. "I'm not...like you." He ignored Kurt's pained look of betrayal, and continued. " This was fun and everything, but," he paused once more, his eyebrows furrowing in thought, "we both knew it wouldn't last." He straightened his posture, holding his shoulders back with a new air of dignity.
"I think it's just best we pretend this never happened." He took a large step forward, and Kurt slunk back into the lockers once more. Sam brought his mouth down to Kurt's ear. "Ever." His hot breath was a painful contrast to the icy tone in his voice, which held an edge of a threat in it. He held his stature for a moment before pushing himself up straight his upper lip curling up into a sneer. Tugging at the collar of his football jacket, he twisted around, nodding absently to a small freshman passing by.
Kurt, still shaky, pushed himself up. "Don't worry," he hissed, throwing his messenger bag over his shoulder. "How can I pretend to know about something that wasn't even real in the first place?" With that, Kurt turned around on his heels, barely missing hitting Sam with the bulk of his bag, and stalked off.
He continued walking until he turned a corner sharply and ducked into the boys bathroom. The door flew open, and he dropped his backpack onto the ground, letting it land with a loud thump against the tile floor. He pressed his back against the door, hands fumbling for the lock. He twisted it clockwise, the satisfying sound of the door being locked brought him a little bit more comfort.
Using his shoulders, he pushed off the door and made towards the sink. His fingers grasped the cool metal faucet, and he twisted it all the way. Cool water poured out of the pipes, making a slight groaning sound, and Kurt placed his hands on either side of the sink, letting all his weight be supported by the linoleum.
He took a few shaky breathes, and lifted his head up to look at himself in the mirror. His usually prepped brown locks were now mussed and spiked in all directions. His eyes were red rimmed, from tears building up. He wiped at his normally lively eyes, until they got too sore.
Four minutes passed before he realized that he had left the water running. Placing two hands together into a cup, he held them under the water, filling his hands up. Then he lifted his hands to his face, dispersing the water in every direction. Most of it hit his face and ran down his neck, the rest hitting the floor, shifting into a small puddle by his feet.
He sucked in a gasping breath and released what sounded like a pained cry. He jerked around and dropped onto the ground, smacking his head off the sink. He hardly noticed, as his chest rose and fell in rhythmic spasms. A drop of water fell onto his cheek. Thinking that the sink had overflowed, he pulled himself up. Only to catch another glimpse of himself in the mirror.
The face that looked back at him was tear streaked, small rivers running down his face. With one sleeve, he rubbed across his face, sniffling loudly, his free hand falling to the sink with a loud smack.
"Don't do this," he said to himself quietly. "You're better than this." But the young man in the mirror obviously disagreed.
"You're Kurt Hummel." Dragging his eyes away from the mirror, he turned to face the door. "He wasn't worth it anyway."
He swung down and grasped for the zipper of his bag. After he successfully opened it, his hands dug in, swirling around the contents of the bag, before pulling out a small black comb. Trying his best to not look at his eyes in the mirror, he started to run the comb through his hair, flattening it stylishly. A few moments passed before he dropped the comb back into his bag and let out a relieved sigh.
"Much better."
Pushing back his shoulders, he bent down and grabbed his bag. Then he reached for the door, unlocking it with a flick of his wrist. Almost immediately a group of young men walked in, throwing Kurt annoyed glances. Ignoring them, Kurt stepped out into the hall, a smile forcing its way over his lips.
"The diva is back!"
He threw his arms up in exclamation and turned around-
To be met by a splash of cherry flavored slushie to his face.
"Should have gotten out of the way, faggot!" Kurt recognized Dave Karofsky's voice over the slushie dripping into his ears. He blinked the substance out of his eyes fast enough to see Karofsky and his band of jocks continuing down the hall, giving each other congratulatory high fives.
He opened his mouth, ready to yell out some reply that would seem witty, when he saw Karofsky move out of the way and Kurt caught a glimpse of Sam, his face erupted into hesitant laughter. Kurt felt his heart break into two, and felt more tears well up in his eyes.
"Oh, My God, Kurt!"
He didn't need to turn around to know the voice belonged to Mercedes. He cocked his head to the side, anyway, confirming his belief. She came up behind him, hands on her hips, with one hip jutted out. His eyes lifted to meet Mercedes concerned eyes.
"Are you okay?" She asked, moving a hand up to wipe away a puddle of slushie that had fallen onto his shoulder.
"I'm fine," Kurt snapped, whipping a hand up to meet hers, smacking it out of the way. "Just the usual slushie harassment," he added, a little more gently. A forced smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but Mercedes saw right through it.
Her eyes darted over to where Sam and the others stood, still roaring with laughter. "Did Sam do this to you?"
A few seconds passed before Kurt nodded slowly, feeling bits of slushie run down the front of his shirt.
"Why would he do that?" she asked angrily.
Even though Sam had just dumped him, Kurt still felt the urge to defend Sam's actions, to let Mercedes know that it wasn't his fault. But every ounce of energy had left him, the drama from the previous half hour making him physically tired. He shrugged one shoulder lazily. "It doesn't matter anymore."
"Oh hell no!" Mercedes' voice broke through the hallway, attracting the attention of some of the football players. "Nobody slushies my boy and gets away with it!" She twisted around and started marching determinedly towards the small group.
Kurt lunged forward and grabbed her wrist, stopping her halfway there. "Mercedes, don't," he said hastily, pleadingly. His fingers tightened around her wrist in a desperate attempt to make her stay.
"Give me one good reason," she replied, her eyes still searching for Sam. "He's your boyfriend Kurt. He shouldn't be treating you like this." She flung his hand off. "I'm gonna have a little talk with Samuel."
"Wait!" Kurt called again, jumping in front of her. She started to object again, when Kurt blurted out; "He's not my boyfriend anymore."
Mercedes raised a plucked eyebrow, scrutinizing him. "Say what?"
"We broke up." He lowered his head a little. "There was someone else."
Mercedes took a step towards him, her eyes narrowed in sympathy. "Whoever he is, he will never be as good as you."
"Actually, he is a she."
"WHAT!" She screeched, startling a few people passing by. Kurt placed a hand over her mouth quickly and pulled her towards a row of lockers, his hand vibrating as she attempted to speak past the barrier.
"Shush!" He hissed, his hand still pressed firmly against her mouth. When he felt her mouth stop moving, he slowly removed his hand.
"When did this happen?"
"About..." Kurt paused and wiped his hand on the front of his jeans, grimacing a little. "Half an hour ago." Seeing Mercedes eyes flare up, he held his hand up again, silencing her. "I'm fine. He wasn't who he thought he was, and that's fine."
Mercedes threw her hands up into the air. "It is not okay to date someone for four months then dump them for someone else." She threw a pointed glance at Sam. "Especially for the opposite gender!" Before Kurt could protest, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out her pink cell phone. Flipping open the cover, her fingers started flying across the key pad.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked in alarm.
Her attention still on the screen, Mercedes shook her head. "I'm notifying the group. This is an emergency." She lifted one hand from the phone, using it to flip her hair back over her shoulders.
"No!" Kurt yelled, his hands rushing forward to grab the phone. But Mercedes stepped aside, letting Kurt fall into the lockers.
"And..." Mercedes started, pressing one more key, "Send." She tucked the phone away and looked up at Kurt, who was panting slightly, his face flushed red.
"Why did you do that!" he exclaimed, slumping down against the lockers. "All I need is for Glee practice to turn into sympathy hour." His head dropped against the locker, and he winced. "This day has been just great."
Mercedes clicked her tongue. "Kurt please, I doubt everyone will sympathize with you. Half of them will probably make fun of you." Comfortingly, she put a hand on his shoulder and spun him around.
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Kurt didn't object when she pushed him towards the girls bathroom, despite a few glances of confusion from other students. He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely heard Mercedes talking to him again.
"Besides, how bad can it really get?"
He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.
That afternoon, Kurt was the last to arrive to Glee practice, feeling a bit fresher with a new shirt on. He trailed behind Mercedes, who seemed to be much more bubbly than usual. The students had all been talking to one another. Mike and Matt were in the corner practicing dance moves, while Rachel was in the front of the room with a confused looking Finn. She had her finger pointed steadily on his chest.
"We need to practice our routine more, Finn," She scolded, shaking her head in disappointment.
"But why?" Finn asked, spreading his arms out.
"Your abnormally tall structure is interfering. I can't move left if your whole body is blocking me. You're taking away my spotlight." She flipped her hair over her shoulders, flashing everyone a toothy grin. Then, focusing her attention back on Finn, she moved in closer to him. "But you're still cute, no matter what."
In the back, Quinn rolled her eyes and turned her head to Santana and Brittany, the former imitating Quinn's expression.
As soon as Kurt walked into the room, everyone stopped talking and, one by one, slowly turned their heads toward his direction. He was met with an array of expressions.
Rachel had stepped away from Finn, her eyes dropping to the floor. Finn raised a hand and scratched at his head nervously.
The cheerios all had amused smiles planted on their faces, except for Brittany, who was staring off into space.
"Well if it isn't the Mayor of Dumps-ville." Puck's voice broke through the silence, startling Kurt. He looked over to where his voice had come from to see Puck straddling a chair, his arms folded across the seat.
"Shut up, Puck," Quinn replied, leaning over to give him a smack on the head. Puck let out a mock cry, his eyebrows furrowing.
Kurt locked eyes with Quinn's, who nodded to him, crossing her arms over her chest. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rachel sidle over, and mentally prepared himself for her barrage.
"I heard what happened," she started, placing a hand on his arm. "Actually, by now, I think the whole school knows." She threw glances around the room, seeing people nod in agreement.
"Anyway," she cleared her throat. "I wanted to tell you that we, the members of Glee club, support you fully. And if you need to talk to any of us, we'll be here for you."
Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but found he couldn't find the right words. "Thank you," he finally squeaked, shifting from foot to foot.
Someone cleared their throat, loudly, and everyone looked over to where Puck was sitting, smiling cockily.
"Now that we're done with homo happy hour, can we focus on something else?" He pushed himself off the chair and gave it a small kick, sending it skidding across the floor for a few feet.
"Not so fast, Noah," Rachel warned, clutching his shirt. "As a team, we need to let each other know that we support one another." She gently turned Puck to face Kurt. "Now, seeing Kurt's dilemma, you should tell him how you feel." Leading him over to Kurt, she lifted one hand, while the other went to her chest.
"Now as you all know, I have two gay dads." At the mention of this, half the Glee club rolled their eyes. Ignoring them, she rambled on.
"And as their daughter, I feel that it is my responsibility to support gay rights one hundred percent. Therefore, I feel that we should all support Kurt in his time of need." She threw an annoyed glance towards Puck. "All of us."
"I think Rachel is right."
Everyone looked at each other, trying to place where and who the voice had come from. Confused eyes raced around the room, eventually landing on the door, where Will Shuester stood, his hands tucked into the pockets of his brown jacket. He stepped forward, giving Kurt a small pat on the back.
"We're a team. And teams stick together." He lifted a finger. "And that's why, for your next assignment, I want you to all pick a song that represents how supportive you all are of one another." At the chorus of groans, he shrugged his shoulders.
"But Mr. Shue, Rachel and I have been rehearsing for the last assignment you gave us. You know, the one that's due today?" Finn ran a hand through his hair, letting out a groan of aggravation.
Will raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And you're still rehearsing?"
Rachel's cheeks flushed and she scooted a little closer to Finn. "We've been...preoccupied." Nervously, she tugged at her hair. "With other things."
Will rolled his eyes, far too used to the antics of his students. "That assignment can be put on hold for now, okay?" When none of the teens gave back a receptive answer, he clapped his hands together. "Great. For the rest of the hour, I want you all to think about what songs you're going to use."
"I guess 'Lean On Me' is out," Artie quipped, pulling at his bowtie. He looked up to Tina, who stood behind his chair, and smiled.
"We'll think of something," she answered.
"No," Will stated firmly, and all the kids looked towards him, some startled. "This assignment is to think of something by yourself. It's a solo project."
"But isn't it kind of like, gay, to sing to one another?" Puck asked, earning an offended glance from Rachel and Kurt. He just shrugged his shoulders and went back to picking at the strings of the guitar he was holding.
"It is not, as you so bluntly put it, gay to sing to one another. And may I remind you that you sang to both I, Mercedes and Quinn just last year?" Crossing her arms, Rachel smiled smugly.
"What else was I supposed to do? I wanted into your pants," Puck muttered. He stood up and placed the guitar down gently so that it was leaning against his chair. "Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with expressing my feelings. But can't we do it in our own unique way?"
"Like throwing people into dumpsters," Quinn replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Exactly. I mean, it might not be flowers and candy, but it expresses the fact that I'm annoyed and feel like tossing some nerds into the dumpster." He threw a hand towards Quinn. "I expressed my feelings with her, when she was pregnant."
"By telling me to lay off the junk food."
"I was thinking of your long term health, babe," Puck replied, huffing a little.
"I was pregnant, you idiot!" She smacked him roughly in the shoulder, sending him forward a few steps.
"So I was thinking of our baby's long term health." He stepped over to Will. "Do we really have to do this?"
"Yes." With that one word, he turned and walked over to his desk. He took a seat and started pulling out some stray papers from his bag, placing them neatly onto his desk.
After a few moments of silence passed, Puck let out a loud sigh and plopped into his chair, defeated.
"I for one am too humiliated to sing anything," Kurt said, rubbing at his temples. "Sam dumps me, starts dating a girl, and I'm the one who's left with nothing."
"We could always find you a really cute guy to date- make Sam regret ever dumping you," Tina suggested shyly, looking around the semi-circle for support.
"That is a great idea, Tina!" Rachel squealed, clapping her hands together. "But who to choose?" She tapped at her chin in thought. "There's aren't a lot to choose from. Because of certain people," she coughed loudly towards Puck, "everyone is afraid to come out of the closet."
Kurt lifted a hand up to examine his nails. "There aren't that many gay guys in Lima. Period."
"What about Tommy Lafitte?" Rachel asked. "He's always at my dads PFLAG meetings with his parents." Several people shook their heads and Rachel cocked her head in confusion.
"Tommy Lafitte has bad hygiene. Next." Santana pursed her lips out. When Rachel opened her mouth, Santana held a hand up to her face. "Listen Berry, your suggestions are just plain stupid. So why don't you take Tina and go make your own little group to make suggestion on how to help Kurt, okay? Now leave. The cheerleaders need to have a quick meeting." She twisted her chair around, so that her back was facing Rachel and Tina.
"But Kurt isn't a cheerleader." She protested.
"He's honorary." Quinn snapped back.
"Fine. We'll find the perfect guy for Kurt." Rachel huffed.
"Oh yeah, I'm sure Kurt really wants to date the leader of the chess team," Santana quipped.
Rachel let out a sigh before spinning around on her heels. "You'll be sorry you didn't want our help." She gently grabbed Tina's shoulder. "Let's go. I already have a list of guys from my dads meetings circulating in my head."
When they were out of sight, Santana let out a sigh of relief. "God, I forgot just how annoying she was."
"Does the guy have to actually be gay?" Quinn asked.
"I think it's essential, since, well, you know." Santana replied, pointing at Kurt.
"What if we can get a straight guy to pretend to be gay?"
Santana made a face. "What straight guy, in their right mind, would go out with Kurt?" She placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "No offense, Kurt."
"None taken." He pushed himself off the chair, shrugging Santana's hand loose. "But I like where you're going with this." He ran a hand over his hair, fluffing it up a little. "We need a guy who will top the stud meter. Who will make Sam jealous that he ever left me."
"And he has lips like a teddy bear."
The three pairs of eyes circled towards Brittany, whose mouth was open, jaw hanging slightly down. At their gazes, she shrugged.
"Kurt has lips like a teddy bear. They were soft." She winked at him, making Kurt squirm a little as he tried to throw her a nervous wave.
Santana furrowed her eyebrows at Kurt, before lifting her hand up in the air. "More than half the guys in this school suck completely. Like, seriously. Why do you think I keep moving from one guy to another every other day?"
"Not gonna touch that one," Kurt mumbled.
"Whoever does this, he'll need to be brave enough to let his reputation flame out. Who's cool, smart and hot enough to do all of this?" Quinn pursed her lips.
"And be stupid enough to actually risk it all?" Santana seconded.
Quinn shifted in her seat. Around her, Kurt and Santana were already making a list of suggestions. Every few seconds, they would go back and scratch it off, before moving onto the next name. Her eyes were locked on Puck, who was engaged in a conversation with Matt and Mike, imitating badly choreographed Michael Jackson moves. She licked her lips, feeling a smile tug at her mouth.
"I know just the guy."
"No! Absolutely no way!"
Puck was standing in front of Quinn, his face flushed, breathing heavily. "How could you even ask me to do something like this!"
Quinn folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall, letting out a loud sigh. "Because Kurt is our friend, who we care about." She raised her eyes to meet his. "I thought you'd wanna do something to, you know, show your support. You should be honored that I chose you for this."
Puck raised a hand, slamming it into the wall. "He's your friend, not mine. Besides, this request is just ridiculous. I'm not going to pretend to be..." he lowered his voice. "Gay, just to help him out. You have any idea what that would do to my reputation?"
"I thought you were the one who could wear a dress to school and still be cool." When Puck didn't answer, she went on. "Do you have a problem with gay people?"
"What! No!" He cocked his head, lips pursed. "I mean, I wouldn't object if you felt like making out with...Rachel." His eyes glinted with a deviancy, as he licked his lips.
"Oh, Ew!" She smacked him in the chest. "Like she would be my first choice." At Puck's expression, she waved her hands in the air. "Anyway, if you do this, I promise I'll make it up to you."
Her hands reached over and grabbed at his shirt, tugging him closer. Puck didn't object, and he leaned forward, placing one hand on the wall behind her to balance himself. His face angled down, his lips nearly touching hers. Quinn could faintly make out the scent of grape slushie.
"Really?" He asked, running his nose down to her throat, and feeling Quinn nod.
"But if you don't," she replied, placing two hands on his chest and pushing him back. "Then you won't get any." She pushed him back a little farther, feeling his body tense in refusal.
"That's it?" He asked, letting out a loud laugh. "That's your threat?" When Quinn nodded, he backed up a little more. "I'm Noah Puckerman." He pointed a finger at his chest. "The Puckasauras. I can get any girl that I want."
Quinn heard herself scoff a little. "Oh, really?"
"Anygirl. No girl can resist the Puckerman's charm. You'll see how ridiculous you're being. You will!" He punched the air, before jogging down the hall, not stopping to push a freshman into his locker.
When he was out of sight, Quinn pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number.
"Santana? I need your help."
"Give me one good reason why I should help you."
Quinn opened her mouth, ready to say something to Santana, when the Latina held up a finger, stopping her cold.
"I mean, first you steal my man, he knocks you up, you get kicked off the cheer-leading squad, which wasn't so horrible, because I got your position." She smiled smugly. "We basically hate each other. So why should I help you?"
"Because as much as you hate me, I can't say I hate you as much." Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, Quinn folded her arms over her stomach. "I know the past year, we've been through a lot. Don't you think it's time to bury the hatchet?"
"What hatchet?" Brittany asked. Quinn threw the blonde an irritated glance, about to say something to her, when Santana stepped in front of Brittany, getting back into Quinn's face.
"Only if I can bury it in your back," she hissed. "After all, you know what it's like to stab someone in the back, don't you?" She dropped her hand to Brittany's side, and the two of them linked pinkies, a silent defense built up between them.
"Puck hurt you, I know. This might be our only chance to get back at him. After everything he has done to you, wouldn't you like to get a little payback?"
Santana silently contemplated this, her jaw tensing slightly.
"If I did this, it wouldn't change anything between us." She finally said a couple moments later.
"I wouldn't expect it to." Quinn felt a small tinge of sadness rush through her body. She cleared her throat and sent a small smile towards the two cheerleaders. "So, are you in?"
"Well, it would be pretty funny to see Puck make out with another guy." Santana held out her free hand, and Quinn took it, her fingers tightening the grip.
"We're in."
"So how would you like to go out Saturday night?"
Gale Carson turned around to see Puck standing behind her, his tall stature towering over her five foot frame. She started a little, and dropped one of her books. Puck's hand dove out in time to stop it from hitting the floor, and he held it towards her, an arrogant expression on his face.
"I...uh..." She fumbled for words, her mind racing thoughts through her mind.
Puck traced her cheek with his finger, sending chills down her spine. She felt her legs starting to give out, and leaned against the wall.
"Aren't you dating Quinn Fabray?"
Puck's jaw tensed at her name, but he hid it behind a tight smile. "We're...seeing other people." Lifting a strand of her hair, he twirled it through his fingers.
Gale's heart pounded in her chest. "I would love to," she started, seeing Puck's eyes light up in anticipation.
And then she saw Santana Lopez.
She was standing behind them, with two more cheerleaders flanking her. Her dark eyes burned holes into Gale, her lips curling into a snarl. Slowly, she started to shake her head, the threat obvious.
"But I have to...wash my dog!" She pushed past Puck and headed down the hall, feeling Santana stare after her with a triumphant grin.
Puck started after her but stopped as soon as his eyes met with Santana's. Beside her, Quinn stood, a cocky smile placed on her face.
"You know, stalking isn't really flattering." He sauntered over to them, shaking his head. "So you're going to threaten the girls I ask out? How...low." He grinned, his voice holding admiration. "Then I'll ask the ones who aren't afraid of you."
"Please," Santana huffed. "Everyone is afraid of us."
"And we know you're not desperate enough to ask out the chess team."
"You know me so well."
"Of course," Quinn snapped. Under her frown, a small smile twitched.
"But there are plenty of MILF's around Lima."
"Not for long." Santana pulled out a cell phone and waved it at him. "Once everyone finds out you have herpes, no one in Lima will be stupid enough to sleep with you."
"What!" Puck reached out to grab the phone, but Santana stepped away. "I don't have herpes!"
"You've slept with enough people to make it believable," Quinn said, her voice mocking. When Puck threw her a confused gaze, she clarified. "Everyone knows you've slept with more than half of the school. And that 'Pool Cleaning' business you keep talking about? Yeah, people know that's just a rouse to get their moms into bed."
"So you better do your good friend Kurt a favor, or else your test results will get sent to every cell phone in the school."
"What test results!" Puck asked, exasperated.
"The internet can do wonders today." Quinn placed a hand on his cheek, turning his head to face her. "And when Santana makes a threat, she sticks by it."
Puck licked his lips, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. Finally, he took a deep breath.
"What do I have to do?"
A few days passed before Glee club was back in session. Will stood at the head of the class as the students piled in, taking their seats in the back as usual. He clapped his hands excitedly, sliding the chalkboard to the side.
"You know what today is, guys?"
"The day we present our songs," Rachel replied, almost sounding more excited then Will. She was practically bouncing up and down in her seat. "I think the song I chose definitely represents my feelings towards the club."
"Can't wait to hear that," Artie mumbled under his breath, sarcastically.
"So, who wants to go first?" Will asked, holding out his hands to point.
"I do!" Rachel screeched, jumping off her chair.
"Actually, Mr. Shue, I'd like to go first."
The group looked towards the door, where Puck was leaning, decked out in tight fitting jeans and a leather jacket, with a white t-shirt underneath. He had a few chains around his neck, one with a key chain of a teddy bear. He stepped into the room, taking small, prideful struts, trying his best to make his hips move as much as possible.
Brittany's jaw dropped. "You look..."
"Hot." Santana finished, equally surprised.
"Puck, I'm guessing you've found the song you want to sing to the group?" Will asked, both eyebrows raised.
"Actually, there's only one person in this room I feel like expressing my feelings to," Puck replied, his voice quivering with nervousness.
Automatically, everyone turned to Quinn, who just shrugged.
"Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until I finish, Noah." Rachel stepped up to the front of the class.
"Please, Rachel. I really can't hold this in any longer." He stepped towards her, his leather boots making soft stomps on the carpet. He gritted his teeth and looked towards the group. "It's very important I do this now."
"Fine," Rachel huffed, stomping back to her chair.
"Guys," Puck nodded towards Mike, Finn and Artie, who all walked (and wheeled) up beside him. Puck held out sheets of music, and started handing it to them. "Just back me up, okay? Follow my lead."
Finn's eyebrows raised as he read the lyrics. "Puck...what are you doing?"
Puck clenched his jaw, catching his lower lip between his teeth. "Trust me, man. You don't want to know." He pointed to the band in the background. "Hit it, guys!" He and the others turned their backs to the group, as the music started. As the first line came into play, Puck flung himself around, a microphone in hand.
Baby let me be
Your lovin' Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Mike, Artie and Finn looked at the pages, all confused.
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear.
Slowly, Puck started towards the group, moving gracefully, until he stopped at-
"Oh my God!" Kurt screamed, his jaw hanging open as Puck made his way behind him, his hands running over Kurt's shoulders.
I don't wanna be a tiger
Cause Tigers play to rough
Puck nipped at Kurt's ear, sending Kurt jumping up from his seat.
I don't wanna be a lion
Cause Lions ain't the kind you love enough.
Now Puck jumped over the chair that was currently occupied by Kurt, doing a successful leap-frog. He continued towards Kurt, who was slowly backing away.
The rest of the group all watched in awe, confusion and revulsion. Quinn hid her laugh behind a loud cough, and leaned into Santana's shoulder, who was keeping a cool exterior.
Just wanna be
Your Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck
And Lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Finn caught Puck's attention, mouthing the words 'You're Gay?'. When Puck rolled his eyes and went back to singing to Kurt, Finn squirmed in his standing position, reaching a hand up to scratch at his neck.
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear
Kurt had backed himself into a wall, and was now fumbling to find a way out from Puck's large frame. He fumbled for a few seconds, then pushed against Puck, who moved out of the way. As Kurt started towards his seat again, Puck followed him, strutting.
Baby let me be around you every night
Run your fingers through my hair
And cuddle me real tight
Kurt dropped back into his seat, where Puck met him. His gentle fingers ran through Kurt's hair, and Kurt found strong arms wrapping around his chest.
Oh let me be
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear.
Puck held out his hand to Kurt, who just crossed his arms over his chest, his cheeks reddening. Puck pried one of his hands loose and lifted him out of his seat, pulling him into a tight dance.
I don't wanna be a tiger
Cause' Tigers play to rough
He gave a small smack to Kurt's behind, making Kurt jump, and let out a small scream.
I don't wanna be a lion
Cause Lions ain't the kind you love enough
Just wanna be
Your Teddy Bear
He twirled Kurt around with one hand, while the other hand loosened the chain on his neck. He flung it over Kurt's head, and the small Teddy Key chain bounced off Kurt's chest. He released his hold on Kurt, who ran to the others for comfort.
Put a chain around my neck
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear
For the grand finale, he pushed himself forward, dropping to his knees and sliding over to where the others sat.
I just wanna be your Teddy Bear
The song slowly faded out, and Puck dropped the microphone, face flushed. His breathing got heavier as he stood up and walked towards Kurt, placing his hands in his jeans pockets. As he approached, Kurt hid his face in his hands, muttering something incomprehensible. One eyebrow raised, he looked up at Kurt between his fingers.
"Kurt Hummel, will you go out with me?"
Rating: PG-13
Author: Vovkulak (Rebekkah)
Summary: Sam breaks up with Kurt, leaving him humiliated and heartbroken. With a little help from the cheerios, Kurt comes up with a plan: Get a fake boyfriend to make Sam completely and utterly jealous. The lucky winner? Puck. And he's not too happy about it.
Author's Note: This is based on a prompt from the Glee_Fluff_meme. Though, I should warn that there is no Kurt/Puck pairing. This is just a friendship fic. Reviews are always welcome. Hope you enjoy. The story is under the cut.
When Kurt Hummel imagined his first experience with having a boyfriend, he never would have thought it would end like this. He'd imagined loving, lingering kisses being placed on his lips between classes and late night rendezvous to the park in the middle of the night. But yet, there Sam stood in front of him, saying words that Kurt couldn't comprehend. All he saw was Sam's mouth moving in what seemed like slow motion. He pictured it as it would have looked like in a movie, and he almost laughed out loud. Then he heard the next two words.
"It's over."
The low mono toned words split through his head so fast, it sent a fast flash of light into his eyes, momentarily blinding him. Kurt stumbled back a little, squeezing his eyes shut. Shaking his head lightly, he tried to comprehend all the thoughts, which made his head throb even more. He heard Sam's footsteps come up beside him.
"I...I don't get it," he muttered, forcing his eyes open. Sam stood beside him, one hand hovering above his shoulder, quivering slightly, as he hesitated whether to put it there or not. Kurt made the decision for him by smacking the muscular hand away and stood up straight, taking a deep breath. He could feel blood rush to his cheeks, flushing them a deep crimson color. He wiped at them furiously.
"Four months," he said bitterly, spitting the words at Sam. "Four months, and you decide this now?" He twisted around, crossing his arms over his chest. Sam stepped up closer behind him, so close that his chin was floating over his left shoulder. "Why?" He whipped around, startling Sam, making him jump back a little.
As Kurt watched him, Sam shifted nervously, running a hand through his shaggy blond hair. He licked at his dry, cracked lips, contemplating what to say. His eyes quickly shifted from Kurt to the near-empty hallway, making sure no one else was listening in.
"There's someone else." His voice was low and controlled, hazel eyes lifting up to glare at Kurt.
Kurt felt his heart drop in his chest. "Who is he?" His voice came out as a slight squeak, and he closed his eyes, mentally telling himself to keep his emotions under control. He sucked in his lower lip and chewed on it gently, forcing his eyes open to look at Sam.
He paused, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. "Actually, her name is Anita."
Kurt felt himself sinking into the locker, his lips trembling slightly. "But...you're gay," he breathed.
"Shut up!," he hissed angrily. "I'm not...like you." He ignored Kurt's pained look of betrayal, and continued. " This was fun and everything, but," he paused once more, his eyebrows furrowing in thought, "we both knew it wouldn't last." He straightened his posture, holding his shoulders back with a new air of dignity.
"I think it's just best we pretend this never happened." He took a large step forward, and Kurt slunk back into the lockers once more. Sam brought his mouth down to Kurt's ear. "Ever." His hot breath was a painful contrast to the icy tone in his voice, which held an edge of a threat in it. He held his stature for a moment before pushing himself up straight his upper lip curling up into a sneer. Tugging at the collar of his football jacket, he twisted around, nodding absently to a small freshman passing by.
Kurt, still shaky, pushed himself up. "Don't worry," he hissed, throwing his messenger bag over his shoulder. "How can I pretend to know about something that wasn't even real in the first place?" With that, Kurt turned around on his heels, barely missing hitting Sam with the bulk of his bag, and stalked off.
He continued walking until he turned a corner sharply and ducked into the boys bathroom. The door flew open, and he dropped his backpack onto the ground, letting it land with a loud thump against the tile floor. He pressed his back against the door, hands fumbling for the lock. He twisted it clockwise, the satisfying sound of the door being locked brought him a little bit more comfort.
Using his shoulders, he pushed off the door and made towards the sink. His fingers grasped the cool metal faucet, and he twisted it all the way. Cool water poured out of the pipes, making a slight groaning sound, and Kurt placed his hands on either side of the sink, letting all his weight be supported by the linoleum.
He took a few shaky breathes, and lifted his head up to look at himself in the mirror. His usually prepped brown locks were now mussed and spiked in all directions. His eyes were red rimmed, from tears building up. He wiped at his normally lively eyes, until they got too sore.
Four minutes passed before he realized that he had left the water running. Placing two hands together into a cup, he held them under the water, filling his hands up. Then he lifted his hands to his face, dispersing the water in every direction. Most of it hit his face and ran down his neck, the rest hitting the floor, shifting into a small puddle by his feet.
He sucked in a gasping breath and released what sounded like a pained cry. He jerked around and dropped onto the ground, smacking his head off the sink. He hardly noticed, as his chest rose and fell in rhythmic spasms. A drop of water fell onto his cheek. Thinking that the sink had overflowed, he pulled himself up. Only to catch another glimpse of himself in the mirror.
The face that looked back at him was tear streaked, small rivers running down his face. With one sleeve, he rubbed across his face, sniffling loudly, his free hand falling to the sink with a loud smack.
"Don't do this," he said to himself quietly. "You're better than this." But the young man in the mirror obviously disagreed.
"You're Kurt Hummel." Dragging his eyes away from the mirror, he turned to face the door. "He wasn't worth it anyway."
He swung down and grasped for the zipper of his bag. After he successfully opened it, his hands dug in, swirling around the contents of the bag, before pulling out a small black comb. Trying his best to not look at his eyes in the mirror, he started to run the comb through his hair, flattening it stylishly. A few moments passed before he dropped the comb back into his bag and let out a relieved sigh.
"Much better."
Pushing back his shoulders, he bent down and grabbed his bag. Then he reached for the door, unlocking it with a flick of his wrist. Almost immediately a group of young men walked in, throwing Kurt annoyed glances. Ignoring them, Kurt stepped out into the hall, a smile forcing its way over his lips.
"The diva is back!"
He threw his arms up in exclamation and turned around-
To be met by a splash of cherry flavored slushie to his face.
"Should have gotten out of the way, faggot!" Kurt recognized Dave Karofsky's voice over the slushie dripping into his ears. He blinked the substance out of his eyes fast enough to see Karofsky and his band of jocks continuing down the hall, giving each other congratulatory high fives.
He opened his mouth, ready to yell out some reply that would seem witty, when he saw Karofsky move out of the way and Kurt caught a glimpse of Sam, his face erupted into hesitant laughter. Kurt felt his heart break into two, and felt more tears well up in his eyes.
"Oh, My God, Kurt!"
He didn't need to turn around to know the voice belonged to Mercedes. He cocked his head to the side, anyway, confirming his belief. She came up behind him, hands on her hips, with one hip jutted out. His eyes lifted to meet Mercedes concerned eyes.
"Are you okay?" She asked, moving a hand up to wipe away a puddle of slushie that had fallen onto his shoulder.
"I'm fine," Kurt snapped, whipping a hand up to meet hers, smacking it out of the way. "Just the usual slushie harassment," he added, a little more gently. A forced smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but Mercedes saw right through it.
Her eyes darted over to where Sam and the others stood, still roaring with laughter. "Did Sam do this to you?"
A few seconds passed before Kurt nodded slowly, feeling bits of slushie run down the front of his shirt.
"Why would he do that?" she asked angrily.
Even though Sam had just dumped him, Kurt still felt the urge to defend Sam's actions, to let Mercedes know that it wasn't his fault. But every ounce of energy had left him, the drama from the previous half hour making him physically tired. He shrugged one shoulder lazily. "It doesn't matter anymore."
"Oh hell no!" Mercedes' voice broke through the hallway, attracting the attention of some of the football players. "Nobody slushies my boy and gets away with it!" She twisted around and started marching determinedly towards the small group.
Kurt lunged forward and grabbed her wrist, stopping her halfway there. "Mercedes, don't," he said hastily, pleadingly. His fingers tightened around her wrist in a desperate attempt to make her stay.
"Give me one good reason," she replied, her eyes still searching for Sam. "He's your boyfriend Kurt. He shouldn't be treating you like this." She flung his hand off. "I'm gonna have a little talk with Samuel."
"Wait!" Kurt called again, jumping in front of her. She started to object again, when Kurt blurted out; "He's not my boyfriend anymore."
Mercedes raised a plucked eyebrow, scrutinizing him. "Say what?"
"We broke up." He lowered his head a little. "There was someone else."
Mercedes took a step towards him, her eyes narrowed in sympathy. "Whoever he is, he will never be as good as you."
"Actually, he is a she."
"WHAT!" She screeched, startling a few people passing by. Kurt placed a hand over her mouth quickly and pulled her towards a row of lockers, his hand vibrating as she attempted to speak past the barrier.
"Shush!" He hissed, his hand still pressed firmly against her mouth. When he felt her mouth stop moving, he slowly removed his hand.
"When did this happen?"
"About..." Kurt paused and wiped his hand on the front of his jeans, grimacing a little. "Half an hour ago." Seeing Mercedes eyes flare up, he held his hand up again, silencing her. "I'm fine. He wasn't who he thought he was, and that's fine."
Mercedes threw her hands up into the air. "It is not okay to date someone for four months then dump them for someone else." She threw a pointed glance at Sam. "Especially for the opposite gender!" Before Kurt could protest, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out her pink cell phone. Flipping open the cover, her fingers started flying across the key pad.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked in alarm.
Her attention still on the screen, Mercedes shook her head. "I'm notifying the group. This is an emergency." She lifted one hand from the phone, using it to flip her hair back over her shoulders.
"No!" Kurt yelled, his hands rushing forward to grab the phone. But Mercedes stepped aside, letting Kurt fall into the lockers.
"And..." Mercedes started, pressing one more key, "Send." She tucked the phone away and looked up at Kurt, who was panting slightly, his face flushed red.
"Why did you do that!" he exclaimed, slumping down against the lockers. "All I need is for Glee practice to turn into sympathy hour." His head dropped against the locker, and he winced. "This day has been just great."
Mercedes clicked her tongue. "Kurt please, I doubt everyone will sympathize with you. Half of them will probably make fun of you." Comfortingly, she put a hand on his shoulder and spun him around.
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Kurt didn't object when she pushed him towards the girls bathroom, despite a few glances of confusion from other students. He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely heard Mercedes talking to him again.
"Besides, how bad can it really get?"
He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.
That afternoon, Kurt was the last to arrive to Glee practice, feeling a bit fresher with a new shirt on. He trailed behind Mercedes, who seemed to be much more bubbly than usual. The students had all been talking to one another. Mike and Matt were in the corner practicing dance moves, while Rachel was in the front of the room with a confused looking Finn. She had her finger pointed steadily on his chest.
"We need to practice our routine more, Finn," She scolded, shaking her head in disappointment.
"But why?" Finn asked, spreading his arms out.
"Your abnormally tall structure is interfering. I can't move left if your whole body is blocking me. You're taking away my spotlight." She flipped her hair over her shoulders, flashing everyone a toothy grin. Then, focusing her attention back on Finn, she moved in closer to him. "But you're still cute, no matter what."
In the back, Quinn rolled her eyes and turned her head to Santana and Brittany, the former imitating Quinn's expression.
As soon as Kurt walked into the room, everyone stopped talking and, one by one, slowly turned their heads toward his direction. He was met with an array of expressions.
Rachel had stepped away from Finn, her eyes dropping to the floor. Finn raised a hand and scratched at his head nervously.
The cheerios all had amused smiles planted on their faces, except for Brittany, who was staring off into space.
"Well if it isn't the Mayor of Dumps-ville." Puck's voice broke through the silence, startling Kurt. He looked over to where his voice had come from to see Puck straddling a chair, his arms folded across the seat.
"Shut up, Puck," Quinn replied, leaning over to give him a smack on the head. Puck let out a mock cry, his eyebrows furrowing.
Kurt locked eyes with Quinn's, who nodded to him, crossing her arms over her chest. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rachel sidle over, and mentally prepared himself for her barrage.
"I heard what happened," she started, placing a hand on his arm. "Actually, by now, I think the whole school knows." She threw glances around the room, seeing people nod in agreement.
"Anyway," she cleared her throat. "I wanted to tell you that we, the members of Glee club, support you fully. And if you need to talk to any of us, we'll be here for you."
Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but found he couldn't find the right words. "Thank you," he finally squeaked, shifting from foot to foot.
Someone cleared their throat, loudly, and everyone looked over to where Puck was sitting, smiling cockily.
"Now that we're done with homo happy hour, can we focus on something else?" He pushed himself off the chair and gave it a small kick, sending it skidding across the floor for a few feet.
"Not so fast, Noah," Rachel warned, clutching his shirt. "As a team, we need to let each other know that we support one another." She gently turned Puck to face Kurt. "Now, seeing Kurt's dilemma, you should tell him how you feel." Leading him over to Kurt, she lifted one hand, while the other went to her chest.
"Now as you all know, I have two gay dads." At the mention of this, half the Glee club rolled their eyes. Ignoring them, she rambled on.
"And as their daughter, I feel that it is my responsibility to support gay rights one hundred percent. Therefore, I feel that we should all support Kurt in his time of need." She threw an annoyed glance towards Puck. "All of us."
"I think Rachel is right."
Everyone looked at each other, trying to place where and who the voice had come from. Confused eyes raced around the room, eventually landing on the door, where Will Shuester stood, his hands tucked into the pockets of his brown jacket. He stepped forward, giving Kurt a small pat on the back.
"We're a team. And teams stick together." He lifted a finger. "And that's why, for your next assignment, I want you to all pick a song that represents how supportive you all are of one another." At the chorus of groans, he shrugged his shoulders.
"But Mr. Shue, Rachel and I have been rehearsing for the last assignment you gave us. You know, the one that's due today?" Finn ran a hand through his hair, letting out a groan of aggravation.
Will raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And you're still rehearsing?"
Rachel's cheeks flushed and she scooted a little closer to Finn. "We've been...preoccupied." Nervously, she tugged at her hair. "With other things."
Will rolled his eyes, far too used to the antics of his students. "That assignment can be put on hold for now, okay?" When none of the teens gave back a receptive answer, he clapped his hands together. "Great. For the rest of the hour, I want you all to think about what songs you're going to use."
"I guess 'Lean On Me' is out," Artie quipped, pulling at his bowtie. He looked up to Tina, who stood behind his chair, and smiled.
"We'll think of something," she answered.
"No," Will stated firmly, and all the kids looked towards him, some startled. "This assignment is to think of something by yourself. It's a solo project."
"But isn't it kind of like, gay, to sing to one another?" Puck asked, earning an offended glance from Rachel and Kurt. He just shrugged his shoulders and went back to picking at the strings of the guitar he was holding.
"It is not, as you so bluntly put it, gay to sing to one another. And may I remind you that you sang to both I, Mercedes and Quinn just last year?" Crossing her arms, Rachel smiled smugly.
"What else was I supposed to do? I wanted into your pants," Puck muttered. He stood up and placed the guitar down gently so that it was leaning against his chair. "Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with expressing my feelings. But can't we do it in our own unique way?"
"Like throwing people into dumpsters," Quinn replied, raising an eyebrow.
"Exactly. I mean, it might not be flowers and candy, but it expresses the fact that I'm annoyed and feel like tossing some nerds into the dumpster." He threw a hand towards Quinn. "I expressed my feelings with her, when she was pregnant."
"By telling me to lay off the junk food."
"I was thinking of your long term health, babe," Puck replied, huffing a little.
"I was pregnant, you idiot!" She smacked him roughly in the shoulder, sending him forward a few steps.
"So I was thinking of our baby's long term health." He stepped over to Will. "Do we really have to do this?"
"Yes." With that one word, he turned and walked over to his desk. He took a seat and started pulling out some stray papers from his bag, placing them neatly onto his desk.
After a few moments of silence passed, Puck let out a loud sigh and plopped into his chair, defeated.
"I for one am too humiliated to sing anything," Kurt said, rubbing at his temples. "Sam dumps me, starts dating a girl, and I'm the one who's left with nothing."
"We could always find you a really cute guy to date- make Sam regret ever dumping you," Tina suggested shyly, looking around the semi-circle for support.
"That is a great idea, Tina!" Rachel squealed, clapping her hands together. "But who to choose?" She tapped at her chin in thought. "There's aren't a lot to choose from. Because of certain people," she coughed loudly towards Puck, "everyone is afraid to come out of the closet."
Kurt lifted a hand up to examine his nails. "There aren't that many gay guys in Lima. Period."
"What about Tommy Lafitte?" Rachel asked. "He's always at my dads PFLAG meetings with his parents." Several people shook their heads and Rachel cocked her head in confusion.
"Tommy Lafitte has bad hygiene. Next." Santana pursed her lips out. When Rachel opened her mouth, Santana held a hand up to her face. "Listen Berry, your suggestions are just plain stupid. So why don't you take Tina and go make your own little group to make suggestion on how to help Kurt, okay? Now leave. The cheerleaders need to have a quick meeting." She twisted her chair around, so that her back was facing Rachel and Tina.
"But Kurt isn't a cheerleader." She protested.
"He's honorary." Quinn snapped back.
"Fine. We'll find the perfect guy for Kurt." Rachel huffed.
"Oh yeah, I'm sure Kurt really wants to date the leader of the chess team," Santana quipped.
Rachel let out a sigh before spinning around on her heels. "You'll be sorry you didn't want our help." She gently grabbed Tina's shoulder. "Let's go. I already have a list of guys from my dads meetings circulating in my head."
When they were out of sight, Santana let out a sigh of relief. "God, I forgot just how annoying she was."
"Does the guy have to actually be gay?" Quinn asked.
"I think it's essential, since, well, you know." Santana replied, pointing at Kurt.
"What if we can get a straight guy to pretend to be gay?"
Santana made a face. "What straight guy, in their right mind, would go out with Kurt?" She placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "No offense, Kurt."
"None taken." He pushed himself off the chair, shrugging Santana's hand loose. "But I like where you're going with this." He ran a hand over his hair, fluffing it up a little. "We need a guy who will top the stud meter. Who will make Sam jealous that he ever left me."
"And he has lips like a teddy bear."
The three pairs of eyes circled towards Brittany, whose mouth was open, jaw hanging slightly down. At their gazes, she shrugged.
"Kurt has lips like a teddy bear. They were soft." She winked at him, making Kurt squirm a little as he tried to throw her a nervous wave.
Santana furrowed her eyebrows at Kurt, before lifting her hand up in the air. "More than half the guys in this school suck completely. Like, seriously. Why do you think I keep moving from one guy to another every other day?"
"Not gonna touch that one," Kurt mumbled.
"Whoever does this, he'll need to be brave enough to let his reputation flame out. Who's cool, smart and hot enough to do all of this?" Quinn pursed her lips.
"And be stupid enough to actually risk it all?" Santana seconded.
Quinn shifted in her seat. Around her, Kurt and Santana were already making a list of suggestions. Every few seconds, they would go back and scratch it off, before moving onto the next name. Her eyes were locked on Puck, who was engaged in a conversation with Matt and Mike, imitating badly choreographed Michael Jackson moves. She licked her lips, feeling a smile tug at her mouth.
"I know just the guy."
"No! Absolutely no way!"
Puck was standing in front of Quinn, his face flushed, breathing heavily. "How could you even ask me to do something like this!"
Quinn folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall, letting out a loud sigh. "Because Kurt is our friend, who we care about." She raised her eyes to meet his. "I thought you'd wanna do something to, you know, show your support. You should be honored that I chose you for this."
Puck raised a hand, slamming it into the wall. "He's your friend, not mine. Besides, this request is just ridiculous. I'm not going to pretend to be..." he lowered his voice. "Gay, just to help him out. You have any idea what that would do to my reputation?"
"I thought you were the one who could wear a dress to school and still be cool." When Puck didn't answer, she went on. "Do you have a problem with gay people?"
"What! No!" He cocked his head, lips pursed. "I mean, I wouldn't object if you felt like making out with...Rachel." His eyes glinted with a deviancy, as he licked his lips.
"Oh, Ew!" She smacked him in the chest. "Like she would be my first choice." At Puck's expression, she waved her hands in the air. "Anyway, if you do this, I promise I'll make it up to you."
Her hands reached over and grabbed at his shirt, tugging him closer. Puck didn't object, and he leaned forward, placing one hand on the wall behind her to balance himself. His face angled down, his lips nearly touching hers. Quinn could faintly make out the scent of grape slushie.
"Really?" He asked, running his nose down to her throat, and feeling Quinn nod.
"But if you don't," she replied, placing two hands on his chest and pushing him back. "Then you won't get any." She pushed him back a little farther, feeling his body tense in refusal.
"That's it?" He asked, letting out a loud laugh. "That's your threat?" When Quinn nodded, he backed up a little more. "I'm Noah Puckerman." He pointed a finger at his chest. "The Puckasauras. I can get any girl that I want."
Quinn heard herself scoff a little. "Oh, really?"
"Anygirl. No girl can resist the Puckerman's charm. You'll see how ridiculous you're being. You will!" He punched the air, before jogging down the hall, not stopping to push a freshman into his locker.
When he was out of sight, Quinn pulled out a cell phone and dialed a number.
"Santana? I need your help."
"Give me one good reason why I should help you."
Quinn opened her mouth, ready to say something to Santana, when the Latina held up a finger, stopping her cold.
"I mean, first you steal my man, he knocks you up, you get kicked off the cheer-leading squad, which wasn't so horrible, because I got your position." She smiled smugly. "We basically hate each other. So why should I help you?"
"Because as much as you hate me, I can't say I hate you as much." Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, Quinn folded her arms over her stomach. "I know the past year, we've been through a lot. Don't you think it's time to bury the hatchet?"
"What hatchet?" Brittany asked. Quinn threw the blonde an irritated glance, about to say something to her, when Santana stepped in front of Brittany, getting back into Quinn's face.
"Only if I can bury it in your back," she hissed. "After all, you know what it's like to stab someone in the back, don't you?" She dropped her hand to Brittany's side, and the two of them linked pinkies, a silent defense built up between them.
"Puck hurt you, I know. This might be our only chance to get back at him. After everything he has done to you, wouldn't you like to get a little payback?"
Santana silently contemplated this, her jaw tensing slightly.
"If I did this, it wouldn't change anything between us." She finally said a couple moments later.
"I wouldn't expect it to." Quinn felt a small tinge of sadness rush through her body. She cleared her throat and sent a small smile towards the two cheerleaders. "So, are you in?"
"Well, it would be pretty funny to see Puck make out with another guy." Santana held out her free hand, and Quinn took it, her fingers tightening the grip.
"We're in."
"So how would you like to go out Saturday night?"
Gale Carson turned around to see Puck standing behind her, his tall stature towering over her five foot frame. She started a little, and dropped one of her books. Puck's hand dove out in time to stop it from hitting the floor, and he held it towards her, an arrogant expression on his face.
"I...uh..." She fumbled for words, her mind racing thoughts through her mind.
Puck traced her cheek with his finger, sending chills down her spine. She felt her legs starting to give out, and leaned against the wall.
"Aren't you dating Quinn Fabray?"
Puck's jaw tensed at her name, but he hid it behind a tight smile. "We're...seeing other people." Lifting a strand of her hair, he twirled it through his fingers.
Gale's heart pounded in her chest. "I would love to," she started, seeing Puck's eyes light up in anticipation.
And then she saw Santana Lopez.
She was standing behind them, with two more cheerleaders flanking her. Her dark eyes burned holes into Gale, her lips curling into a snarl. Slowly, she started to shake her head, the threat obvious.
"But I have to...wash my dog!" She pushed past Puck and headed down the hall, feeling Santana stare after her with a triumphant grin.
Puck started after her but stopped as soon as his eyes met with Santana's. Beside her, Quinn stood, a cocky smile placed on her face.
"You know, stalking isn't really flattering." He sauntered over to them, shaking his head. "So you're going to threaten the girls I ask out? How...low." He grinned, his voice holding admiration. "Then I'll ask the ones who aren't afraid of you."
"Please," Santana huffed. "Everyone is afraid of us."
"And we know you're not desperate enough to ask out the chess team."
"You know me so well."
"Of course," Quinn snapped. Under her frown, a small smile twitched.
"But there are plenty of MILF's around Lima."
"Not for long." Santana pulled out a cell phone and waved it at him. "Once everyone finds out you have herpes, no one in Lima will be stupid enough to sleep with you."
"What!" Puck reached out to grab the phone, but Santana stepped away. "I don't have herpes!"
"You've slept with enough people to make it believable," Quinn said, her voice mocking. When Puck threw her a confused gaze, she clarified. "Everyone knows you've slept with more than half of the school. And that 'Pool Cleaning' business you keep talking about? Yeah, people know that's just a rouse to get their moms into bed."
"So you better do your good friend Kurt a favor, or else your test results will get sent to every cell phone in the school."
"What test results!" Puck asked, exasperated.
"The internet can do wonders today." Quinn placed a hand on his cheek, turning his head to face her. "And when Santana makes a threat, she sticks by it."
Puck licked his lips, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. Finally, he took a deep breath.
"What do I have to do?"
A few days passed before Glee club was back in session. Will stood at the head of the class as the students piled in, taking their seats in the back as usual. He clapped his hands excitedly, sliding the chalkboard to the side.
"You know what today is, guys?"
"The day we present our songs," Rachel replied, almost sounding more excited then Will. She was practically bouncing up and down in her seat. "I think the song I chose definitely represents my feelings towards the club."
"Can't wait to hear that," Artie mumbled under his breath, sarcastically.
"So, who wants to go first?" Will asked, holding out his hands to point.
"I do!" Rachel screeched, jumping off her chair.
"Actually, Mr. Shue, I'd like to go first."
The group looked towards the door, where Puck was leaning, decked out in tight fitting jeans and a leather jacket, with a white t-shirt underneath. He had a few chains around his neck, one with a key chain of a teddy bear. He stepped into the room, taking small, prideful struts, trying his best to make his hips move as much as possible.
Brittany's jaw dropped. "You look..."
"Hot." Santana finished, equally surprised.
"Puck, I'm guessing you've found the song you want to sing to the group?" Will asked, both eyebrows raised.
"Actually, there's only one person in this room I feel like expressing my feelings to," Puck replied, his voice quivering with nervousness.
Automatically, everyone turned to Quinn, who just shrugged.
"Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until I finish, Noah." Rachel stepped up to the front of the class.
"Please, Rachel. I really can't hold this in any longer." He stepped towards her, his leather boots making soft stomps on the carpet. He gritted his teeth and looked towards the group. "It's very important I do this now."
"Fine," Rachel huffed, stomping back to her chair.
"Guys," Puck nodded towards Mike, Finn and Artie, who all walked (and wheeled) up beside him. Puck held out sheets of music, and started handing it to them. "Just back me up, okay? Follow my lead."
Finn's eyebrows raised as he read the lyrics. "Puck...what are you doing?"
Puck clenched his jaw, catching his lower lip between his teeth. "Trust me, man. You don't want to know." He pointed to the band in the background. "Hit it, guys!" He and the others turned their backs to the group, as the music started. As the first line came into play, Puck flung himself around, a microphone in hand.
Baby let me be
Your lovin' Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Mike, Artie and Finn looked at the pages, all confused.
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear.
Slowly, Puck started towards the group, moving gracefully, until he stopped at-
"Oh my God!" Kurt screamed, his jaw hanging open as Puck made his way behind him, his hands running over Kurt's shoulders.
I don't wanna be a tiger
Cause Tigers play to rough
Puck nipped at Kurt's ear, sending Kurt jumping up from his seat.
I don't wanna be a lion
Cause Lions ain't the kind you love enough.
Now Puck jumped over the chair that was currently occupied by Kurt, doing a successful leap-frog. He continued towards Kurt, who was slowly backing away.
The rest of the group all watched in awe, confusion and revulsion. Quinn hid her laugh behind a loud cough, and leaned into Santana's shoulder, who was keeping a cool exterior.
Just wanna be
Your Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck
And Lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Finn caught Puck's attention, mouthing the words 'You're Gay?'. When Puck rolled his eyes and went back to singing to Kurt, Finn squirmed in his standing position, reaching a hand up to scratch at his neck.
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear
Kurt had backed himself into a wall, and was now fumbling to find a way out from Puck's large frame. He fumbled for a few seconds, then pushed against Puck, who moved out of the way. As Kurt started towards his seat again, Puck followed him, strutting.
Baby let me be around you every night
Run your fingers through my hair
And cuddle me real tight
Kurt dropped back into his seat, where Puck met him. His gentle fingers ran through Kurt's hair, and Kurt found strong arms wrapping around his chest.
Oh let me be
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear.
Puck held out his hand to Kurt, who just crossed his arms over his chest, his cheeks reddening. Puck pried one of his hands loose and lifted him out of his seat, pulling him into a tight dance.
I don't wanna be a tiger
Cause' Tigers play to rough
He gave a small smack to Kurt's behind, making Kurt jump, and let out a small scream.
I don't wanna be a lion
Cause Lions ain't the kind you love enough
Just wanna be
Your Teddy Bear
He twirled Kurt around with one hand, while the other hand loosened the chain on his neck. He flung it over Kurt's head, and the small Teddy Key chain bounced off Kurt's chest. He released his hold on Kurt, who ran to the others for comfort.
Put a chain around my neck
And lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
(Oh let him be)
Your Teddy Bear
For the grand finale, he pushed himself forward, dropping to his knees and sliding over to where the others sat.
I just wanna be your Teddy Bear
The song slowly faded out, and Puck dropped the microphone, face flushed. His breathing got heavier as he stood up and walked towards Kurt, placing his hands in his jeans pockets. As he approached, Kurt hid his face in his hands, muttering something incomprehensible. One eyebrow raised, he looked up at Kurt between his fingers.
"Kurt Hummel, will you go out with me?"