Broken English spoken perfectly
Разбирая завалы на спасённом жёстком диске, нашла прекрасное. Если пьёте кофе, будьте осторожны: можно подавиться. :)
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-May I have a bloody beef, please?
-Of course. Do you want some fucking potatoes, too?
***
If you feel we have failed you in any way we shall be only too pleased to do it again at no extra charge. Химчистка.
***
Do not use the diving board when the swimming pool is empty.
***
The chairman called the meeting to order and asked if there were any matters to discuss under the table.
We would like to welcome Mrs M. Thatcher and her husband Mr Pennis Thatcher.
The unorganized conference… sorry, the UN organized conference.
Any persons (except players) caught collecting golf balls on this court will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.
Wayne Rooney is a poor, poor talent. (Instead of pure).
Pastor’s Ass. (for assistant).
Left job to ruin my family business.
My father says condoms don’t work.
Excuse me, what is the fart limit?
If the ship sinks walk quickly to the liferafts. Do not swim.
DAI YOUNG TRAVEL. Korean travel company.
If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.
This hotel is renowned as a place of solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
Built in 1888 and fully restored in 2000, it resembles a mid-evil castle.
The provision of a large French widow in every room adds to the visitor’s comfort.
We wish you sweat dreams. On a pillow in Japanese hotel.
Suggestive views from every room.
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between 9 and 11 daily.
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used.
To stop the drip, turn cock right.
Do not use the diving board when the swimming pool is empty.
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.
In case of emergency, say No. Near the telephone at a German hotel.
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
We serve you with hostility.
Look, they have a daily rat! Dagens rett.
Yes, we are less dirty. Indian restaurant.
Some dishes: Toes with butter and jam, assaulted artichokes, bold eggs, friend eggs, pork with fresh garbage, humburger, hot dok, fumigated sausage, fried rice with peppers the way you lick it, beat roots, half a cock in dragon sause, chocolate mouse
-May I have a bloody beef, please?
-Of course. Do you want some fucking potatoes, too?
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. A temple in Bangkok.
Don’t miss the garden party. Bring an umbrella. No toilet facilities provided.
Please do not smoke near the petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
If this sign is under water, the road is impassable.
In case of fire, evacuate the building. Do not use stairways. Do not use elevators.
No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming. Торговля выхлопными трубами и глушителями.
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
Gentlemen’s throats cut with very sharp razors with great care and skill. No irritating feeling afterwards. Индийская цирюльня.
Closed between Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. A shop in Oslo.
Time to re-tire. Шиномонтаж.
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.
Haircuts half price today. Only one per customer.
If you feel we have failed you in any way we shall be only too pleased to do it again at no extra charge. Химчистка.
We do not tear your clothing by machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
We stand behind every bed we sell.
No children allowed. В родильном отделении.
No keyboard detected. Press any key to continue.
Danger! Public must note, to kill babies, insert them head into bag. Carefully! Thank you. Предупреждение на пластиковой упаковке детского серфинга.
Not for use in an aquarium. Mixer.
Caution: Ice cream is cold.
Instruction: open packet, eat nuts.
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.
Warning: do not drive while using this product. Condoms.
Do not use this product during an earthquake. Razorblade.
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.
***
И моё любимое, какое-то невероятно философское:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.
***
-May I have a bloody beef, please?
-Of course. Do you want some fucking potatoes, too?
***
If you feel we have failed you in any way we shall be only too pleased to do it again at no extra charge. Химчистка.
***
Do not use the diving board when the swimming pool is empty.
***
The chairman called the meeting to order and asked if there were any matters to discuss under the table.
We would like to welcome Mrs M. Thatcher and her husband Mr Pennis Thatcher.
The unorganized conference… sorry, the UN organized conference.
Any persons (except players) caught collecting golf balls on this court will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.
Wayne Rooney is a poor, poor talent. (Instead of pure).
Pastor’s Ass. (for assistant).
Left job to ruin my family business.
My father says condoms don’t work.
Excuse me, what is the fart limit?
If the ship sinks walk quickly to the liferafts. Do not swim.
DAI YOUNG TRAVEL. Korean travel company.
If this is your first visit to USSR, you are welcome to it.
This hotel is renowned as a place of solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
Built in 1888 and fully restored in 2000, it resembles a mid-evil castle.
The provision of a large French widow in every room adds to the visitor’s comfort.
We wish you sweat dreams. On a pillow in Japanese hotel.
Suggestive views from every room.
Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between 9 and 11 daily.
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used.
To stop the drip, turn cock right.
Do not use the diving board when the swimming pool is empty.
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.
In case of emergency, say No. Near the telephone at a German hotel.
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
We serve you with hostility.
Look, they have a daily rat! Dagens rett.
Yes, we are less dirty. Indian restaurant.
Some dishes: Toes with butter and jam, assaulted artichokes, bold eggs, friend eggs, pork with fresh garbage, humburger, hot dok, fumigated sausage, fried rice with peppers the way you lick it, beat roots, half a cock in dragon sause, chocolate mouse
-May I have a bloody beef, please?
-Of course. Do you want some fucking potatoes, too?
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. A temple in Bangkok.
Don’t miss the garden party. Bring an umbrella. No toilet facilities provided.
Please do not smoke near the petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
If this sign is under water, the road is impassable.
In case of fire, evacuate the building. Do not use stairways. Do not use elevators.
No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming. Торговля выхлопными трубами и глушителями.
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
Gentlemen’s throats cut with very sharp razors with great care and skill. No irritating feeling afterwards. Индийская цирюльня.
Closed between Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. A shop in Oslo.
Time to re-tire. Шиномонтаж.
Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.
Haircuts half price today. Only one per customer.
If you feel we have failed you in any way we shall be only too pleased to do it again at no extra charge. Химчистка.
We do not tear your clothing by machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
We stand behind every bed we sell.
No children allowed. В родильном отделении.
No keyboard detected. Press any key to continue.
Danger! Public must note, to kill babies, insert them head into bag. Carefully! Thank you. Предупреждение на пластиковой упаковке детского серфинга.
Not for use in an aquarium. Mixer.
Caution: Ice cream is cold.
Instruction: open packet, eat nuts.
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.
Warning: do not drive while using this product. Condoms.
Do not use this product during an earthquake. Razorblade.
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.
***
И моё любимое, какое-то невероятно философское:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.