Everything meme
Everything Meme. Have at me with Relationship, First Impressions, Hot or Not, Essay, Please Ramble About This At Me, Explain Your Thoughts on Their Thoughts, You Should Jump Me, App My Canon and whatever you want to ask for.Especially "Please Ramble About This At Me", I love that one. XD
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Well as a player he sucked, but taht's nothing new. I mean, *I* suck at the game. I'm not ashamed to say it because I have a lot of fun anyway, but I have this mental block where I cannot figure out logical deductions when it involves mathematics. It is stupid! I dislike it. But I can look at the number of people left in a clue and someone can go "well so and so is obviously a sheep because of how the numbers work out" and TO THE END OF THE GAME I'm going "...how?" So I used to play SUPER SERIOUSLY and it was stressful and unfun, and now I just throw in characters I can have fun playing with even if I'm not a great player and it works out.
But I picked him specifically in this case because:
a) he has coping mechanisms in place for seeing people horrifically murdered in front of him because IT HAS HAPPENED TO HIM BEFORE. Everyone kills the Manikins, okay. Demons do! Humans do! OTHER MANIKINS DO, TRUFAX, THERE IS A MANIKIN WHO SERIAL-KILLS OTHER MANIKINS. He has seen so, so much death. He was one of two survivors of a certain city. He was stuck in a torture prison. HE CAN COPE.
b) He's a survivor, so even if he feels guilty, he can vote people out knowing they're going to die. He doesn't want them to die! But... he's used to being a slave to cruel people who like to torture them for shits and giggles and food, and he knows a little of how they think. He figures, either he does it or someone dies anyawy, perhaps in a worse way, and they make it clear it's his fault. Also, he knows that in the situation of the game he can only protect himself and his team, so he focussed on that to get through. It's the only bit of power any of them had -- to do their best for their own team. So he relied on it.
And it worked out exactly as I'd hoped -- especially because his teammates helped him out so much. Sasuke would vote on the kills because the Collector didn't want to be the one to kill them, and though he felt guilty for someone else doing what he couldn't, he was also relieved. Anastasia constantly cheered him up. He honestly really likes both of them after this.
So, why if he had attitude b above did he apologize to everyone?
Well, it varied by the individual. But, you know, although they did the same to him, and to others every round? He can't ask them to apologize. He can only make his own apologies for his own role in their pain. And if they accept it, he's glad, and if not -- well, he'll survive. Hurting another person isn't fun, but it won't kill him or stop him.
He's... strange because he's both very emotional and very shallow in his emotions in some ways. He was sad and hurt and scared and all of the above, but he's also bouncing back fast, like he always does. Honestly, this was one of the least traumatic events in his life -- everyone was fine after. He won't say as much to people unless it comes up specifically because he doesn't want to underwrite their feelings, but ...nothing that happened in this game has been rougher than his life to date, and he's got to a point where he can be optimistic about that, so this? Isn't so bad.
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YOUR LIFE NOW SUCKS. BUT YOU'RE PRETTY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT IT ANYWAY.
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