Trying to Find…
Crossposted from VooDoo EnVy.
So lately, well… just this past week actually, I’ve been stuck in a rut. Maybe it just a sign that things have finally gone back to normal and now I need to get out more. Go places. Do different things. Try to find a way to get my old life back.
I know things will never go back to the way they were before, and in a way, I’m okay with that. But I think my life has been on pause for so long that I find it kind of hard to figure out where to even begin.
Maybe I’m over thinking it and I should just jump head first like I always do and deal with things as they come. I’ve always been good at that, so why am I hesitating?
I think part of it is that I don’t want to leave my family behind. Not I’ll physically leave, but figuratively… I might leave them behind in the dust. I feel like I have to make a consious effort to include them in my plans. And not that it’s a bad thing, not at all, they need to get out of their rut too, but I have to wonder if they’ll be able to keep up with me, or if they would feel terribly irritated with me if some of my plans didn’t include them.
There is so much I wanna do, and I think the fear of hurting my family by being a little more selfish with the whole ‘it’s-all-about-me’ time is what’s really keeping me on a semi-pause state.
Yeah. I guess I am over thinking it. It’s even given me writer’s block for God’s sake! And that makes me cranky.
I supposse I shouldn’t fret. My family will always love me and support me after all. I should just stop thinking and start acting.
Hmm… I think I feel much better now that that’s off my chest
