(no subject)
I've learned a lot about myself as of recently.
For one, I hold a grudge like nobody's fucking BUSINESS. There was once a girl that kissed the love of my life in front of my face, and that was about 4 or 5 years ago. To this day, I let the bitch know that I hate her. Hahahaha. Even worse, I feel no remorse. I don't see myself ever forgiving her, for the rest of my life. Just like I will never TRULY forgive anyone else that has ever made my life horrible.
Freddy. I can't bring myself to talk to you quite yet. Call me immature, but I finally realized what it was that stopped me from just trying to get you to forgive me. And my conclusion was... I didn't do anything wrong. Why should I apologize to you Fred, when I haven't wronged you in any way? If anything, you owe ME an apology, for judging me and assuming things. You think I'm turning into this drunken slut, making an idiot of myself... so tell me, who have I slept with? If there's nothing that I regret doing, then why would you? I appreciate how strong you've made me, but now you seem to only want to make me feel unhappy about who I am... friends aren't their to judge you, and that is all you've been doing in the past year. And until you realize it and correct your actions, I feel no need to try to be back in your life. I love you, and I will always be there for you. But you've never needed me. You have Tony and Jenna and Kayla... and now I finally have Brittany. I finally have someone who's as much a priority to me as I am to them. And I don't mind that I was never the number one priority, but I'll be god damned if I'm going to let you make me feel guilty or belittled simply because it's mutual now. I don't care that you and Brittany don't like each other... you never have. But Brittany has never tried to make me feel bad for simply being friends with you.
Other than the above, my life has been, for lack of a better word, ideal. I'm doing wonderfully in school, I'm having a great time with my friends, and I feel like I have a really bright future. No boys are getting me down, simply because I have decided not to allow it. My heart and my mind was open for the last year, but this time, it's Lauren's turn to put walls up and burn bridges. Say what you want, but it's working out great so far.
=]
For one, I hold a grudge like nobody's fucking BUSINESS. There was once a girl that kissed the love of my life in front of my face, and that was about 4 or 5 years ago. To this day, I let the bitch know that I hate her. Hahahaha. Even worse, I feel no remorse. I don't see myself ever forgiving her, for the rest of my life. Just like I will never TRULY forgive anyone else that has ever made my life horrible.
Freddy. I can't bring myself to talk to you quite yet. Call me immature, but I finally realized what it was that stopped me from just trying to get you to forgive me. And my conclusion was... I didn't do anything wrong. Why should I apologize to you Fred, when I haven't wronged you in any way? If anything, you owe ME an apology, for judging me and assuming things. You think I'm turning into this drunken slut, making an idiot of myself... so tell me, who have I slept with? If there's nothing that I regret doing, then why would you? I appreciate how strong you've made me, but now you seem to only want to make me feel unhappy about who I am... friends aren't their to judge you, and that is all you've been doing in the past year. And until you realize it and correct your actions, I feel no need to try to be back in your life. I love you, and I will always be there for you. But you've never needed me. You have Tony and Jenna and Kayla... and now I finally have Brittany. I finally have someone who's as much a priority to me as I am to them. And I don't mind that I was never the number one priority, but I'll be god damned if I'm going to let you make me feel guilty or belittled simply because it's mutual now. I don't care that you and Brittany don't like each other... you never have. But Brittany has never tried to make me feel bad for simply being friends with you.
Other than the above, my life has been, for lack of a better word, ideal. I'm doing wonderfully in school, I'm having a great time with my friends, and I feel like I have a really bright future. No boys are getting me down, simply because I have decided not to allow it. My heart and my mind was open for the last year, but this time, it's Lauren's turn to put walls up and burn bridges. Say what you want, but it's working out great so far.
=]