Gone
For those of you who read my journal and talk to me on AIM, I have made a decision and I won't be comming on AIM anymore. Right now I don't feel like explaining myself but you can e-mail me if you want, and respond to things I write in my journal. I have made a resolve to update the journal daily so you will all know how I'm doing.
Tonight I finaly did it..I got off AIM..my last IM talk with Roxan made me cry..and I'll admit to it..it hurt me..she used to feel the same way about me that I did her...now she's putting things in her life that she never wanted infront of me infront of me..and she said she had to sacrifice me to get the things she wanted in life..I really don't feel that she loves me...even though I love her still..call me a sucker or whatever you want..but I do. It's hard to get over things like that. Now that Roxan isn't dating me, Hannah is really starting to express her love for me. I don't know what's going to happen there..I wish she would stop being so mellow dramatic about things though..she isn't going to kill herself and the way she doesn't trust me makes me wonder how she expects to have a relationship with me....I don't know if I want one with her..and all the things she does that are so crazy just make me not want to even more..and wonder if I actualy ever did...I bet she'll be reading th is and any of what I said had no intention of hurting her..this is my journal and I write about what I feel...this is something I'm going to look back on later when I'm older..Anyway things are hard..but now I'm just going to spend alot of time with my friends in real life so I feel good..Like Mark, and Liz. I'm going to hang out with Liz on wednesday before she leaves thursday...I'm going to tell Mark I have other things to do and I can't hang out with him. I am going to my friend Cameron's house tomorrow...and I'm going to be honnest with everyone who reads my journal..and say that a few weeks ago..I got drunk with my father..the worst part I guess was that I liked it..I didn't drink so much..just enough to feel good..and I haven't had any alcohol since then. Me and my father bonded over that. I hope no one gets upset with me for it...a little bit of alcohol is good for the heart....as long as you don't drink too much. I forgot my line of thought..I'm downloading music and I found something I was looking for..I'll write again tomorrow.
- Alex
Tonight I finaly did it..I got off AIM..my last IM talk with Roxan made me cry..and I'll admit to it..it hurt me..she used to feel the same way about me that I did her...now she's putting things in her life that she never wanted infront of me infront of me..and she said she had to sacrifice me to get the things she wanted in life..I really don't feel that she loves me...even though I love her still..call me a sucker or whatever you want..but I do. It's hard to get over things like that. Now that Roxan isn't dating me, Hannah is really starting to express her love for me. I don't know what's going to happen there..I wish she would stop being so mellow dramatic about things though..she isn't going to kill herself and the way she doesn't trust me makes me wonder how she expects to have a relationship with me....I don't know if I want one with her..and all the things she does that are so crazy just make me not want to even more..and wonder if I actualy ever did...I bet she'll be reading th is and any of what I said had no intention of hurting her..this is my journal and I write about what I feel...this is something I'm going to look back on later when I'm older..Anyway things are hard..but now I'm just going to spend alot of time with my friends in real life so I feel good..Like Mark, and Liz. I'm going to hang out with Liz on wednesday before she leaves thursday...I'm going to tell Mark I have other things to do and I can't hang out with him. I am going to my friend Cameron's house tomorrow...and I'm going to be honnest with everyone who reads my journal..and say that a few weeks ago..I got drunk with my father..the worst part I guess was that I liked it..I didn't drink so much..just enough to feel good..and I haven't had any alcohol since then. Me and my father bonded over that. I hope no one gets upset with me for it...a little bit of alcohol is good for the heart....as long as you don't drink too much. I forgot my line of thought..I'm downloading music and I found something I was looking for..I'll write again tomorrow.
- Alex