Last day of summer break = I haven't written in a long time...
Some amazing things have happened this summer(2 come to mind) that I have meant to write abut but have forgotten to include in any entries. I have had 'miraculous' things happen to me this summer. it's funny how a blessing makes you so happy at the time but after you, or I can find myself cold and un amazed all of a sudden not long after.
I broke my glasses this summer. I put them back together but when I was at Michelle's house the right arm snapped right off(no joke). I was all freaked out and panicky and just distressed, but it was indeed a blessing !. I needed a new prescription any ways but didn't want to cough up the cash...or get my parents too so I was upset. but after going to lenses crafters and ordering my same frame(luckily they still carried it...coincidence I think not!) I found out that the frame was an old model now. That means it was discounted from 140.00 down to I think 90. and the lenses were like 199.00 but we got a coupon to get 175 or 190 off. It was incredible. Now that I add it up it kinda makes sense so I must have the wrong digits cuz he total was only like 94.00. I asked the woman "how much?" shocked at her reply. $94. The numbers in no way made sense or added to that number...so that was incredible. If you wear glasses you know that a new pair is generally about 400.00. and I got a new frame and new lenses for under a hundred. Isn't that ridiculous. Praise God.
A few nights ago was even more incredible. It was last Tuesday. It was the kind of night that rocks one's world. I think I worked that day cuz I was having a shower around like 7:00. while in the shower I felt a strange need to bring something up for prayer at Soulfood. I wanted to pray for boldness for I often found or find myself in situations were I want to speak up generally when with Christians. I find often Christians to be the quickest to be rude or offensive people and I probably am too I dunno but I wanted boldness so I would have the courage to speak up...but more importantly to do it always in love and with tact. Not to embarrass anyone or myself. And as this thought went through my head this is what was 'spoken to my heart'- "I can't use you if you are proud, need you to be broken and vulnerable". So with hesitation I prayed for the strength to speak up at Soulfood and ask for prayer.
This is where the story picks up speed. Everything went 'wrong' from there. I left in good time but had to get gas, Michelle came home from work 40 minutes later than she is suppose to(7:30--->home at 8:10). And Soulfood starts at about seven so my fear was that we had missed prayer, which didn't really matter but in my mind was a big enough obstacle. Waiting for her to come home in my car I prayed that if you want me to speak what I have to say then make it so". 40 minutes later she came home very discouraged I sat on her bed. it was now about 8:40 or something. Keith then came into her room and said "haven't you guys left yet" we said no and he said "I was gonna come with you but it's so late now". It was like being punched in the gutt. Everything was going wrong. Michelle saw my discouragement and prodded at my soul and eventually I spilled all my thoughts and griefs and discouragement with her. She just looked at me and said "Let's go then!". Was it that simple. I guess so. so she went to get ready and I prayed on her bed "God if you want me to speak this word tonight give me the opportunity cuz I don't have the boldness to interrupt a message'
Well as we walked in Sarah Tonn was speaking about her summer and the opportunities she had to speak about God and grow from young girls that she counseled. She encouraged us to just take some time and listen to God for awhile so that we may speak what he has given us to say in order to build each other up and be a body. She said that there are always words that people need to hear and God is always speaking so listen to what he's saying. Holy opportunity to speak. It was the most perfect opening I have ever seen no joke and God felt more real in this moment than ever before. It was a truly wonderful night and experience and went to show how quick I doubt God and how real and faithful he is...It took time for me to built up the confidence but eventually I spoke and after the first sentence or two it all came pouring out and felt so good. The body at Soulfood laid hangs on me and prayed for boldness and gentleness and humbleness for me. It was such a blessing and great feeling.
Since then I don't know how clear I have heard Gods voice but I'm more in tune to listen so truly relax and let his spirit move you and your heart. let him speak make his word welcome in your heart and sacrifice your mind to his thoughts and your mouth to his words to be spoken. I have so much to learn and its exciting. Remember that Jesus died to bring freedom not law... not traditions just a perfected and close relationship with Him and the Holy Spirit(who are one!). So just be willing. If you have no desire to be filled or dog deeper than pray for the desire, get others to pray for you. That's all I have to say for now, Thanx for reading and Thanx to God for all we take for granted.
I broke my glasses this summer. I put them back together but when I was at Michelle's house the right arm snapped right off(no joke). I was all freaked out and panicky and just distressed, but it was indeed a blessing !. I needed a new prescription any ways but didn't want to cough up the cash...or get my parents too so I was upset. but after going to lenses crafters and ordering my same frame(luckily they still carried it...coincidence I think not!) I found out that the frame was an old model now. That means it was discounted from 140.00 down to I think 90. and the lenses were like 199.00 but we got a coupon to get 175 or 190 off. It was incredible. Now that I add it up it kinda makes sense so I must have the wrong digits cuz he total was only like 94.00. I asked the woman "how much?" shocked at her reply. $94. The numbers in no way made sense or added to that number...so that was incredible. If you wear glasses you know that a new pair is generally about 400.00. and I got a new frame and new lenses for under a hundred. Isn't that ridiculous. Praise God.
A few nights ago was even more incredible. It was last Tuesday. It was the kind of night that rocks one's world. I think I worked that day cuz I was having a shower around like 7:00. while in the shower I felt a strange need to bring something up for prayer at Soulfood. I wanted to pray for boldness for I often found or find myself in situations were I want to speak up generally when with Christians. I find often Christians to be the quickest to be rude or offensive people and I probably am too I dunno but I wanted boldness so I would have the courage to speak up...but more importantly to do it always in love and with tact. Not to embarrass anyone or myself. And as this thought went through my head this is what was 'spoken to my heart'- "I can't use you if you are proud, need you to be broken and vulnerable". So with hesitation I prayed for the strength to speak up at Soulfood and ask for prayer.
This is where the story picks up speed. Everything went 'wrong' from there. I left in good time but had to get gas, Michelle came home from work 40 minutes later than she is suppose to(7:30--->home at 8:10). And Soulfood starts at about seven so my fear was that we had missed prayer, which didn't really matter but in my mind was a big enough obstacle. Waiting for her to come home in my car I prayed that if you want me to speak what I have to say then make it so". 40 minutes later she came home very discouraged I sat on her bed. it was now about 8:40 or something. Keith then came into her room and said "haven't you guys left yet" we said no and he said "I was gonna come with you but it's so late now". It was like being punched in the gutt. Everything was going wrong. Michelle saw my discouragement and prodded at my soul and eventually I spilled all my thoughts and griefs and discouragement with her. She just looked at me and said "Let's go then!". Was it that simple. I guess so. so she went to get ready and I prayed on her bed "God if you want me to speak this word tonight give me the opportunity cuz I don't have the boldness to interrupt a message'
Well as we walked in Sarah Tonn was speaking about her summer and the opportunities she had to speak about God and grow from young girls that she counseled. She encouraged us to just take some time and listen to God for awhile so that we may speak what he has given us to say in order to build each other up and be a body. She said that there are always words that people need to hear and God is always speaking so listen to what he's saying. Holy opportunity to speak. It was the most perfect opening I have ever seen no joke and God felt more real in this moment than ever before. It was a truly wonderful night and experience and went to show how quick I doubt God and how real and faithful he is...It took time for me to built up the confidence but eventually I spoke and after the first sentence or two it all came pouring out and felt so good. The body at Soulfood laid hangs on me and prayed for boldness and gentleness and humbleness for me. It was such a blessing and great feeling.
Since then I don't know how clear I have heard Gods voice but I'm more in tune to listen so truly relax and let his spirit move you and your heart. let him speak make his word welcome in your heart and sacrifice your mind to his thoughts and your mouth to his words to be spoken. I have so much to learn and its exciting. Remember that Jesus died to bring freedom not law... not traditions just a perfected and close relationship with Him and the Holy Spirit(who are one!). So just be willing. If you have no desire to be filled or dog deeper than pray for the desire, get others to pray for you. That's all I have to say for now, Thanx for reading and Thanx to God for all we take for granted.