(no subject)
here i am once again. here i am hoping that by pouring my thoughts out into this pathetic journal i might somehow get rid of some of the craziness that has been building up inside of me.
i don't know what is happening. i can't figure out this change in my personality that is taking place, or why. i think this has happened before, maybe more than once. i know it's depression. i don't need somebody to tell me that. but i'm beginning to think there might be something deeper this time.
i think i need anger management. i have been lashing out at amber a lot. i have been physically as well as emotionally abusive, and my own actions often only make me more upset. when i'm alone i cry because i have nobody to take my anger out on. i'm afraid i may start cutting again because i can't figure out how to deal with my anger without being abusive. i guess in a way lashing out at amber has kept me from lashing out on myself. but lately it seems like it could be really nice to just go back to that.
i don't know anymore.
i think it's time for some professional help.
i don't know what is happening. i can't figure out this change in my personality that is taking place, or why. i think this has happened before, maybe more than once. i know it's depression. i don't need somebody to tell me that. but i'm beginning to think there might be something deeper this time.
i think i need anger management. i have been lashing out at amber a lot. i have been physically as well as emotionally abusive, and my own actions often only make me more upset. when i'm alone i cry because i have nobody to take my anger out on. i'm afraid i may start cutting again because i can't figure out how to deal with my anger without being abusive. i guess in a way lashing out at amber has kept me from lashing out on myself. but lately it seems like it could be really nice to just go back to that.
i don't know anymore.
i think it's time for some professional help.