(no subject)
pissed off and sad and insecure these days. i sho dont want to leave and be friendless again. i mean, sure i'll make friends again like i did at yellowstone, but it's gonna be harder since im not gonna have a job. and im gonna miss YOU ALL. i think im gonna join a rugby team or something so that i can have a base for making friends... and fun. and they (being my family down there) better all understand that im motherfucking GAY. im a queer lesbo dyke. ugh...
cant wait to have my own whole house and my cats and fireplace and get a dog and get back in the swing of school. and i cant wait to have the school gym at my disposal, which will include mucho free time since i wont be working. and maybe i'll be able to get my shit together for the first time since high school when nothing really mattered. i am ready to focus on something. and i HAVE to buy an rv before i go to ynp next summer. and maybe i'll even meet someone.
which leads me to this ---> shannon said i am at my best when i am in a relationship, says i NEED one, and i really think it's true. she says the reciprocation is good for me. i am a giver, and i like to be wanted badly (just like everyone else, eh?). however, my doubts in this theory lie in the fact that i KNOW i am needy, and maybe being with someone would just feed my codependency. or maybe not. i dont know. plus, i am very picky.
...i do miss being physically close to another person.
my skin still remembers the fire of your touch
and is pissed that you have forgotten.
cant wait to have my own whole house and my cats and fireplace and get a dog and get back in the swing of school. and i cant wait to have the school gym at my disposal, which will include mucho free time since i wont be working. and maybe i'll be able to get my shit together for the first time since high school when nothing really mattered. i am ready to focus on something. and i HAVE to buy an rv before i go to ynp next summer. and maybe i'll even meet someone.
which leads me to this ---> shannon said i am at my best when i am in a relationship, says i NEED one, and i really think it's true. she says the reciprocation is good for me. i am a giver, and i like to be wanted badly (just like everyone else, eh?). however, my doubts in this theory lie in the fact that i KNOW i am needy, and maybe being with someone would just feed my codependency. or maybe not. i dont know. plus, i am very picky.
...i do miss being physically close to another person.
my skin still remembers the fire of your touch
and is pissed that you have forgotten.