It's still intimidating. Whenever anyone speaks about her side, I always hear about how people have given up on me. How people are resigned over the fact that I won't change. They just accept this is how I am. I always hear about how everyone wants to refer to me as "the asshole" or "the jerk". It's always about how other people don't want me in her life or how she should not talk to me every again. Nothing but negative things really.
It's not like this dislike/hatred is all in my head. It's very real and not something that I will live down easily if at all.
I know I shouldn't let this bog me down. I know that I have to "redeem myself in my eyes". It's a journey of self-improvement. I refuse to talk to Karina until I'm not the same person that I'm apologizing for. In all honesty, I don't think I could see you face-to-face either until then.
Still, there are a lot of things about this incident that I don't believe was fair to me, but I'm willing to concede those points if only to help facilitate the healing process.
It's not like this dislike/hatred is all in my head. It's very real and not something that I will live down easily if at all.
I know I shouldn't let this bog me down. I know that I have to "redeem myself in my eyes". It's a journey of self-improvement. I refuse to talk to Karina until I'm not the same person that I'm apologizing for. In all honesty, I don't think I could see you face-to-face either until then.
Still, there are a lot of things about this incident that I don't believe was fair to me, but I'm willing to concede those points if only to help facilitate the healing process.
Like I said though, one step at a time.
Reply
Leave a comment