A whole lot of nothing.
Right now, and for the past 2 or 3 days, I've been feeling very empty. Like a piece of me has left without the thought of returning. Something is slowly eating away at my peace and sanity, little by little and it's killing me inside. All of my words, actions, emotions...everything is empty. My hugs, kisses, touches...all of it. Friday night has so far been the only night I've been able to detach away from everything and feel purity. Purity in the form of a pill. Wonderful. That's what my happiness has been reduced to.
It's really that I'm not letting myself be happy, it really is something that's bothering me. But I have no idea what it is. I'm worried that my heart is still pining for Bo. Even after what he did to me. How much he hurt me and lied to me. I'm afraid Heather's going to call me again, wanting me to save her. And I can't say "no". That's the one word I can't say. And no, I don't mean in the literal sense for you morons who are like "Oooo you just said "no!" lolololz"
My mind is a warping dimension. Turning a little darker everyday. And it's like no matter how many candles I try and light, the wind is just too strong and keeps blowing them out. Everything for me is meaningless right now. Everything has been meaningless for quite some time. Well, except for those 2 or 3 instances when I was able to detach myself.
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On a good note, Jessuh gave me bracelets today. That is all.
It's really that I'm not letting myself be happy, it really is something that's bothering me. But I have no idea what it is. I'm worried that my heart is still pining for Bo. Even after what he did to me. How much he hurt me and lied to me. I'm afraid Heather's going to call me again, wanting me to save her. And I can't say "no". That's the one word I can't say. And no, I don't mean in the literal sense for you morons who are like "Oooo you just said "no!" lolololz"
My mind is a warping dimension. Turning a little darker everyday. And it's like no matter how many candles I try and light, the wind is just too strong and keeps blowing them out. Everything for me is meaningless right now. Everything has been meaningless for quite some time. Well, except for those 2 or 3 instances when I was able to detach myself.
-------------------------
On a good note, Jessuh gave me bracelets today. That is all.