Bitchfest....
I'm gonna freakin wig out. ok, so suppossssssedly, god doesn't dish out to you more than he trusts you can handle. if this is really the case, i really wish he didn't trust me so much...
i JUST got over the flu, and, surrrrprise! i have a lovely upper respiratory infection. and b/c i've had a fever, and am dehydrated, i have sores all over my mouth, and haven't been able to actually eat a real meal in over a WEEK. that's right.... a fucking week
So, i've forced myself to drink these horrible meal shakes, and got some jello and pudding last night- real healthy huh? pisses me off to no end. not to mention the fact that we DON'T HAVE ANY HOT WATER IN ALL OF RACEY, i just want to take a hot shower. my neighbors are fucking annoying (YAY music theater.... let me sit here and sing opera and punch out notes on the keyboard for 2 hours!, i have 5 midterms to study for, the bitchy dyke softball team (YES, THE WHOLE TEAM) is in the lounge screaming, shouting, laughing and carrying on- and why yessss, of course my room is right fucking next to the lounge.... oooooooof courrrrrse. because that's just how it goes for me. i fell asleep for 5 hours today, so i don't even know why i'm writing in this damn thing b/c god knows i DON'T have time to... so while i was asleep, i was supposed to call into work, and tell them when i'd be able to work this coming week. so, onnnce again, i have to call in tomorrow and talk to Queen Bitch Candy, who will bitch me out for not being responsible and getting my note in early. i can't wait. by the way, if she doesn't schedule me for Sunday, that'll be past the consequetive 30 days i have to work, THEREFORE.... i'll be taken off payroll, have to fill out all the damn paperwork again, and won't get my scheduled raise, which is once again, exactly what i need right now. great.
ahhhhhhh, and ladies and gentlemen, lets not forget about my COURT DATE!:) yay, right in the middle of my fucking spring break, splendid. my dad DID decide to get a lawyer, which i get to pay for. and unless you've paid for one out of YOUR pocket, don't say you understand, because you have NO CONCEPT of how rediculously expensive this is going to be. one, ONE HOUR PHONE CALL is more than one of my full week, (35 hours) paycheck from work. a possible 6 points on my license (which my dad said the lawyer said isn't out of the question at all, given the situation) means they suspend it in maryland, and until all the points clear (2 years for one point) i'll be forbidden to drive in the state of virginia.
i'm not even going to start going to an issue i feel very strongly about but here's the away message i made the other day that pretty much says it all for me...
I think I finally stopped looking at the world through rose colored glasses today. you know, its a shame but people do, do terrible things without hesitation, people change, or wait, people can be pretty damn fake in the first place, so you never really know if they've just changed for the worse, or you never knew the truth from the start. people make horrible decisions. *take a little pride in yourself- or at least have some self respect for crying out loud* ...little by little those shitty decisions are gonna add up. I guess its my turn to just sit back, and wait and see how dreadfully this all pans out. but hey, I'm gonna stop giving a shit altogether and start worrying about myself for a change.
here's to you......... idiots... I'm done caring.
i really didn't write this to try and get anyone's sympathy, to be honest, i really don't care if y'all look at this w/ a "ohhh, becka's bitching again" because i'm sick of the shitty cards i've been dealt, just plain sick and tired of it.