It's been a while
So..... everything really does change.
It's been a really, really long time, but I don't know really what to write. I don't know really how to begin. Thankfully the only people that read this are Mark and Danny... I like you two :) Basically... I'm in a rut.
Ben and I broke up for an assortment of reasons but I just don't know what to do about that. When we were on our "break", Max kissed me and it was just one of those things where I was like... I absolutely love Ben and I never want anyone else. And so we got back together. Then the next day we broke up because he wanted to be single during college. I just don't know how I feel about it. I miss him like crazy and last time I saw him I just wanted to hug him and never let go but... I think of him at college and Emily Menter and I'm glad we're not together anymore. Part of me will probably love him for a long time.. but I don't want that to happen. I want to be over him. Dangit.
And Max likes me. But I don't want that to happen. I don't. He's a nice boy but.... yeah. It just can't happen. He asked me to homecoming.. and that could be fun. But considering he's a reason why Ben and I broke up... I don't know if that's going to happen. Juuuuust friends.
....plus there's someone else. But I don't think that's going to happen because he's going to college and I'm pretty sure he wants to start anew. But I actually like him and it could be a good thing. It really could... so we'll see. And I'm kind of hoping for it (bad, I know).
I probably shouldn't get my hopes up. And I should stay single for a while. I.. need time.
I'm just a mess, that's all. But I think this is good for me... I'll figure things out.
I just want to experience life.
Lindsay McFarland (my best friend...ever) has been in Idaho for 9 days now. I miss her and need her HOME. I really do. She keeps me sane.
And Mark Heppner, you are my hero. You really are.
So, I can't believe tomorrow's our first contest for band. It's bad. We don't have most of our closer down for the field.. ugh. But the drumbreak's sweet! I got a compliment today after the opener by Mr. G himself, it was probably a good moment. He hardly ever gives compliments so I was pretty excited :) I'm hoping we get a Superior tomorrow... We can't get a 2. I just hope the freshmen and upperclassmen can pull it through .. I hope.
Things just need to settle down.........
It's been a really, really long time, but I don't know really what to write. I don't know really how to begin. Thankfully the only people that read this are Mark and Danny... I like you two :) Basically... I'm in a rut.
Ben and I broke up for an assortment of reasons but I just don't know what to do about that. When we were on our "break", Max kissed me and it was just one of those things where I was like... I absolutely love Ben and I never want anyone else. And so we got back together. Then the next day we broke up because he wanted to be single during college. I just don't know how I feel about it. I miss him like crazy and last time I saw him I just wanted to hug him and never let go but... I think of him at college and Emily Menter and I'm glad we're not together anymore. Part of me will probably love him for a long time.. but I don't want that to happen. I want to be over him. Dangit.
And Max likes me. But I don't want that to happen. I don't. He's a nice boy but.... yeah. It just can't happen. He asked me to homecoming.. and that could be fun. But considering he's a reason why Ben and I broke up... I don't know if that's going to happen. Juuuuust friends.
....plus there's someone else. But I don't think that's going to happen because he's going to college and I'm pretty sure he wants to start anew. But I actually like him and it could be a good thing. It really could... so we'll see. And I'm kind of hoping for it (bad, I know).
I probably shouldn't get my hopes up. And I should stay single for a while. I.. need time.
I'm just a mess, that's all. But I think this is good for me... I'll figure things out.
I just want to experience life.
Lindsay McFarland (my best friend...ever) has been in Idaho for 9 days now. I miss her and need her HOME. I really do. She keeps me sane.
And Mark Heppner, you are my hero. You really are.
So, I can't believe tomorrow's our first contest for band. It's bad. We don't have most of our closer down for the field.. ugh. But the drumbreak's sweet! I got a compliment today after the opener by Mr. G himself, it was probably a good moment. He hardly ever gives compliments so I was pretty excited :) I'm hoping we get a Superior tomorrow... We can't get a 2. I just hope the freshmen and upperclassmen can pull it through .. I hope.
Things just need to settle down.........