I'm ready this time. I'm no longer undecided.
Looking back at my last-last post, I am really surprised with how honest I was. Come to think of it, it wasn't really my intention to be that open. But when depression suddenly creeps in one's system and starts wrecking one's rationality, I've realized that sadness' only other way is out. There are a lot of other media through which I can channel out my depression, but I think writing it down is most effective.
More than the transparency of my last post, I was also suprised with how "mature" my post was. It was a mature post in its deepest sense, I think, especially because of the honesty that came with it. It was also mature in a literal sense -- considering that my only practice when it comes to writing takes form only in my posts, aside from my half-baked school papers. In my opinion, that was the best thing I've written so far. I remember it was my English 1 prof in UP who said something along the lines of: people who tend to write considerably impressive literature are those who, deep inside, have "problems" (for lack of a better term).
With that, I'm trying to move on from my depression. It's a stage we all encounter, and from this deep pit I know my only other way is up. I can do this.
Aside from this valuable realization, a lot of simple yet nice things happened to me that, at the least, made me smile after a long time. It totally slipped off my mind that Heroes Ep20 torrent is already up since last night, and good thing a lot of people (including Michi, Lara and Kuya Kel) reminded me about it. Today, I also got my first Math54 Long Test result. With a huge sigh of relief, I was able to pin it on a few decimal places above the borderline of 1.00 and 1.25. Then, I had a considerably manageable Math54 second Long Test on conics and polar graphs, where I spent half of the alloted time drawing a nice cardioid and four-leaf rose (it should be four-petal, I don't know who in the world started using leaf) with Nikki's blue-green pencil. After Math, I ate lunch with Val, Nya, Hazel and Lara at McDo Katipunan, and we did a lot of catching up. Going back to UP after, I spent the rest of my afternoon with Circuit people and sorted the bottles and papers needed for FOPC. Then I realized I suck at conversational English (point taken!).
Lastly, and I personally think this deserves a separate paragraph, I got to watch American Idol 6 again! It's harder to choose who'll get booted next; only six are left and everybody's just really good. But Blake totally rocked and owned the Rock Night with a beatbox/ modern/ street jazz/ whatchamacallit version of Bon Jovi's Give Love a Bad Name. IDOL!! Win or lose, I'm sure he'll make it to the hit charts in the future. Also worthy of mentioning is Melinda Doolittle's desperate yet funny attempt to do a "head bang". Haha. I wasn't really able to appreciate her song because I was laughing hard. But she's still a pro.
Sigh. Feels good to be back to the world of the sane and optimistic. I know I'll stay here more often. Being sad and down sucks. Big time.