so go on, tell all your friends that you're just travelling through

[voirdansmoname]

I can't believe that I'm halfway done with college already. It's not even real. I don't want to grow up and get a real life. Or a real job. Right now I just need any job that will pay me enough so I can afford la vie en Paris. 111 days til I leave, which seems like a lot but really isn't very many. There's so much left to do, but most of all I need to make money for it. I don't want to think about that because it stresses me but I kind of have to... I put in some applications so hopefully things work out, or I'll just have to keep looking. It's weird to think that they wont tho since they almost always do, in this kind of thing at least.
I've been thinking about weird things lately. Not weird weird it's just really strange that I'm thinking about them now, after all this time. Why do I think I want you back in my life? Why do I wish there was something that I knew to say to you to make that happen? It's your own fault for saying something to begin with, I just have delayed reactions I guess. But really I'm just confused as to why I'm fixated on this after such such a long time. I guess some things don't always go away, they just fade from time to time and then come back.
It always surprises me when I am so unaffected by important things that I should care about. I can't really help it.
I'm home but I feel as if summer hasn't really started. Nothing seems summery to me now. Hopefully that changes soon; I need summer so badly <3