(no subject)
So I've been dating Edd for just under two weeks, and I'm...not concerned, so much as I am just...I don't know the word.
You see, Edd's already said that he loves me. I don't really think he means head over heels love, or even that he's in love with me. He loves to be around me, etc; but saying that he loves me this early is kind of throwing me. Because I don't love him; not yet. It's not even been two weeks, of course I don't love him yet. I like him quite a bit, and I can see myself loving him some day. But I feel bad that I don't yet, and that's no good.
There's a couple of things about him I'm not fond of. Things that I've told him really bother me and he doesn't seem to really _get_ that they bug me, or why. And since I'm non-confrontational by nature, I don't even want to know what the hell it's going to take before I'm able to explain to him, "aight, tone this way the hell down if not stop completely, kthnxbai", and give him the chance to do the same with me.
I need to work on my confidence in that respect. Not just toward Edd, but to everybody else in the world. I need to educate myself more, to be able to explain things to myself and others, to learn how to deal with people who refuse to listen but refuse to drop their points as if they were fact. I need to learn how to hold my head up high and defend what I believe in, and I definitely need to look at how I think about the world around me. To teach myself to think and really consider everything, instead of taking it in and just let it guide me. I need to follow my worldly education, but I also have to make it my own.
You see, Edd's already said that he loves me. I don't really think he means head over heels love, or even that he's in love with me. He loves to be around me, etc; but saying that he loves me this early is kind of throwing me. Because I don't love him; not yet. It's not even been two weeks, of course I don't love him yet. I like him quite a bit, and I can see myself loving him some day. But I feel bad that I don't yet, and that's no good.
There's a couple of things about him I'm not fond of. Things that I've told him really bother me and he doesn't seem to really _get_ that they bug me, or why. And since I'm non-confrontational by nature, I don't even want to know what the hell it's going to take before I'm able to explain to him, "aight, tone this way the hell down if not stop completely, kthnxbai", and give him the chance to do the same with me.
I need to work on my confidence in that respect. Not just toward Edd, but to everybody else in the world. I need to educate myself more, to be able to explain things to myself and others, to learn how to deal with people who refuse to listen but refuse to drop their points as if they were fact. I need to learn how to hold my head up high and defend what I believe in, and I definitely need to look at how I think about the world around me. To teach myself to think and really consider everything, instead of taking it in and just let it guide me. I need to follow my worldly education, but I also have to make it my own.