(no subject)
I listen to music and dream of writing as good as what I hear. I'd love to have that kind of talent. I mean I can write okay stuff I guess, all mediocre. But nothing that really blows me away, like the sounds constantly coming from these speakers.
Another problem is inspiration. Or getting ideas of what to write about. Whenever I think of an idea it seems to me as it's already been done. And I don't like things that have already been done. I don't want to seem cheap. Like I'm ripping off other people's music.
I need to work on it. Practice makes perfect right? Of course it does.
While we're here...lets confront some other giants.
I'm a clingy sonuvabitch. Even when there is obviously nothing there I keep trying to reach for something. Because I cant face reality. For me, that is a hard thing to do.
Depression comes in small doses in my case. And I think that is worse than anything. I'll be completely fine and then something will click in my head and I'll think about something that I have a problem with and I'll get bummed. But that doesnt last too long. It leaves after about a minute or two. But it always comes back. Alot of times it comes when I am alone or zoning out. Other times it will come when least expected or needed. I hate that.
Sometimes I wonder how I am looked at by certain people. Alot of the time I think its bad. That's another depressing thing for me. I put myself down alot. Or I take shit that I shouldn't. But it's who I am. And there isn't really much I can do about it. There isn't really much I want to do about it. Some people like me how I am. I would at least like to think that.
Jealousy comes into play alot with me too. It used to be bad, I've gotten better, but there's still alot there. Enough for it to create a problem for me.
If you havent figured me out yet. This is sort of like a passageway into me and my head. This is me...
Another problem is inspiration. Or getting ideas of what to write about. Whenever I think of an idea it seems to me as it's already been done. And I don't like things that have already been done. I don't want to seem cheap. Like I'm ripping off other people's music.
I need to work on it. Practice makes perfect right? Of course it does.
While we're here...lets confront some other giants.
I'm a clingy sonuvabitch. Even when there is obviously nothing there I keep trying to reach for something. Because I cant face reality. For me, that is a hard thing to do.
Depression comes in small doses in my case. And I think that is worse than anything. I'll be completely fine and then something will click in my head and I'll think about something that I have a problem with and I'll get bummed. But that doesnt last too long. It leaves after about a minute or two. But it always comes back. Alot of times it comes when I am alone or zoning out. Other times it will come when least expected or needed. I hate that.
Sometimes I wonder how I am looked at by certain people. Alot of the time I think its bad. That's another depressing thing for me. I put myself down alot. Or I take shit that I shouldn't. But it's who I am. And there isn't really much I can do about it. There isn't really much I want to do about it. Some people like me how I am. I would at least like to think that.
Jealousy comes into play alot with me too. It used to be bad, I've gotten better, but there's still alot there. Enough for it to create a problem for me.
If you havent figured me out yet. This is sort of like a passageway into me and my head. This is me...