December 2007
The end of month statistics are now in. Together we have produced:
Good work everybody, the party salutes you all! These material gains will bring us all measurably closer to victory in 2008.
In recognition of our achievements, slipper allowance rights are to be extended, starting from tomorrow - all citizens aged eighteen and over will henceforth be entitled to wear the slipper for twenty-three and a half minutes per week.
- 520 litres of marmite and guava smoothie
- 42x size 23 Doc Martin boots
- 12x Sue Pollard class attack helicopters
- 530 cardboard pouches of discoloured French fries
- 100 nautical tonnes of Mighty Morphin Power Ranger-scented cat litter (non-absorbent)
- 41x Alan Titchmarsh figurines (when you press a concealed button on his back he sings bathtime songs, accompanied by sombre colliery band music - requires 3x AAA batteries)
- 400km Roquefort-flavoured liquorice rope
Good work everybody, the party salutes you all! These material gains will bring us all measurably closer to victory in 2008.
In recognition of our achievements, slipper allowance rights are to be extended, starting from tomorrow - all citizens aged eighteen and over will henceforth be entitled to wear the slipper for twenty-three and a half minutes per week.