Comments | voiceshall

voiceshall_echo

[Voice]

Aug 19, 2010 01:37

I've heard that when someone falls over the rail, that person dies. He doesn't come back. Is this true?

[Yeah, Shinzon's loitering on the deck. He's very tempted to do a swan dive off the barge, but facts are good things to have. So, loitering. Which involves a lot of pacing. Spam at will, someone might want to stop him. :\]

[comm] lastvoyages, actually alone now, fffffuuuuu admiral

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Private, video darknessb4me August 19 2010, 08:42:34 UTC

[A shot from across a cell in Zero, Arthas looking up balefully from his seat on a cot.]

It's black down there, you little fool. It's no sight, no sound, not even your own voice. You move and push against nothing, you can't even feel other bits of yourself. After awhile, you realize you don't have any limbs at all. You have your own mind, but your thoughts start to spin in circles and fade - there's nothing to hold them in any more. You forget what you love and what life you lived, then you forget why you're there at all and you panic, the fear kicks in, the same one that makes the little fish swim away from the shark and men on the gallows to sob and repent and promise anything - anything - an eternity of pain just for one more second of being able to be. To be at all.

Then the rest of it starts to go. You realize that not only do you not remember your home, your name, but it's getting harder to remember what those concepts are at all - the edges fade off of your understanding of the world. If you remember any fragments of anything the memories stop making sense - the sensory input stops having meaning. You forget how to think in patterns of words instead of simple smears of insight - the outer layers melt off the simpler and simpler animal core of your mind. But by then you're not worried about that - worry requires being able to wonder what will become of you, and you are no longer enough of a being to wonder. You have no concept of a future, or of any past that may have occurred, you simply stare at the snatches of emotion and thought passively as they begin to unravel themselves. You feel every bit of what made you a being capable of thought being obliterated, and then what made you a creature as opposed to a formless, disembodied lump. You are reduced. You know nothing of the universe, you know nothing of yourself, and when the spark of life that is you only exists enough to hold one thought - I AM -

[He snaps out of something, and smiles cruelly.]

Well, I suppose I don't know what happens then. I suppose it's an easy transition to "I AM NOT."

[He stretches lazily and reaches for the off button on the communicator.]

You're right, though. It's worse here.

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 19 2010, 12:42:24 UTC

[He isn't entirely sure how to respond to Arthas, and is silent for a moment.] That is not death. Death was a relief.

Private, video darknessb4me August 19 2010, 18:36:13 UTC

But do you know what would have happened if you had stayed dead instead of being taken up by the Barge?

[His eyes are amused.]

Do it. And take your communicator, I want to watch.

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 19 2010, 19:06:56 UTC

As you said, it would have been preferable to this

[Glower glower glower! But Arthas has managed to pique his interest, even if it's tinged with annoyance.] You're the one who tried to claim responsibility for my attack on the mess hall.

Private, video darknessb4me August 19 2010, 19:31:59 UTC

You have been pulled here by something that has offered you a chance to continue existing. Certainly you won't be doing it in your own world any more, so where do you suppose it will happen?

Oh. And yes. It was very nice and no one seemed to be using it.

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 19 2010, 19:38:57 UTC

I don't want to continue existing.

[...Wait.] Was that a compliment?

Private, video darknessb4me August 19 2010, 19:51:17 UTC

Let me guess, you hate yourself? Oh boo hoo, like everyone here doesn't. Judas does it on the public channel every ten minutes. Self-pity is such a cliche here. Do you think I did that bombastic monologue for my own health? [he totally did.] Between here and your home, what do you remember?

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 19 2010, 20:17:18 UTC

[He makes a tch sound.] I don't have a self to hate. I will not be redeemed, there is no reason to trap me here.

Private, video darknessb4me August 19 2010, 20:32:38 UTC

You answered neither of my questions, which of course means yes, you do, and no, you don't remember anything.

You may have noticed that I do remember. It's not a lovely cessation of all your miseries, it's a loss of everything you have and take for granted.

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 19 2010, 20:44:02 UTC

I said I do not have a self to hate. That is an answer. I remember my cells' revolt fading. I had nothing to take for granted.

Private, video darknessb4me August 19 2010, 20:51:16 UTC

Then what am I talking to?

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 19 2010, 20:56:31 UTC

An echo. [Yeah, he's practically muttering to himself now.]

Private, video darknessb4me August 20 2010, 04:05:13 UTC

Yes, because I certainly know what you mean by that.

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 20 2010, 04:07:00 UTC

You don't need to.

Private, video darknessb4me August 20 2010, 04:11:23 UTC

You're right. I don't really care, either.

I hope echoes scream the same.

Private, video voiceshall_echo August 20 2010, 04:24:44 UTC

That is something you'll never discover.

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