*renames this the letter journal*
Dear Nice Dining Hall Woman:
Really, you're very sweet. And I like you, which is why I smile and ask how you are and wish you a good day.
But.
Saying, "Lord, honey, you're so tiny," just makes me feel awkward.
Yes, I'm skinny. I know it. That's what happens when you're underweight.
I do not, however, know how to reply to random comments on the fact.
Please don't mention it again?
Thanks,
Me.
Dear Females South of the Mason-Dixon Line:
WHY ARE YOU ALL SO SHORT?!
I'm only 5'8", and yet, I tower above you.
Grow.
It's just creepy.
Dear Roomie's Boyfriend:
I will hang up on you if you call again.
You're starting to scare me, and you KEEP WAKING ME UP.
DO it again and I will throttle you through the phone line. Do not doubt that I can. I have powers that you cannot imagine, and they all stem from my UTTER EXHAUSTION that you are causing.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Asshole who Dropped and Dragged Me,
My mother actually knows a mafia boss. He's a close friend of the family.
My brother owns a shotgun, and insists he knows former KGB members. This may, actually, be true.
My dad is hounding me for your name.
Rachel!Mun and basically all my other friends wish you a painful death.
Do not fuck with me again, little man, or I will make life hell for you.
Much love,
Me.
Really, you're very sweet. And I like you, which is why I smile and ask how you are and wish you a good day.
But.
Saying, "Lord, honey, you're so tiny," just makes me feel awkward.
Yes, I'm skinny. I know it. That's what happens when you're underweight.
I do not, however, know how to reply to random comments on the fact.
Please don't mention it again?
Thanks,
Me.
Dear Females South of the Mason-Dixon Line:
WHY ARE YOU ALL SO SHORT?!
I'm only 5'8", and yet, I tower above you.
Grow.
It's just creepy.
Dear Roomie's Boyfriend:
I will hang up on you if you call again.
You're starting to scare me, and you KEEP WAKING ME UP.
DO it again and I will throttle you through the phone line. Do not doubt that I can. I have powers that you cannot imagine, and they all stem from my UTTER EXHAUSTION that you are causing.
Sincerely,
Me.
Dear Asshole who Dropped and Dragged Me,
My mother actually knows a mafia boss. He's a close friend of the family.
My brother owns a shotgun, and insists he knows former KGB members. This may, actually, be true.
My dad is hounding me for your name.
Rachel!Mun and basically all my other friends wish you a painful death.
Do not fuck with me again, little man, or I will make life hell for you.
Much love,
Me.