When October Goes...

[voiceofkiki]

I usually refer to November as my "month of suck" or "month of pain" or some other such term.

November is always the month most associated with my mother's memory.  November 1 was her birthday.  She was married in November.  November 10 was the day she died.  She was buried in November.  Thanksgiving, a once enjoyable holiday filled with family and

Comments

[tomreedtoon]

I kind of understand. It was last year that my mother died. She was in the late 90's, had Alzheimers, untreatable cancer and other problems. That was worse. It was a long goodbye, as her mind was eaten by that bastard syndrome and she slowly lost control of her bowels, her spending, her temper and her consciousness.

I only dealt with it long-distance, by phone. I last saw her alive three years ago. I didn't bother going up to St. Louis after she was put in a home; she wouldn't have recognized me. That was in springtime.

My only consolation was that, while I could still communicate with her, I called her once a week. My two other brothers would see her maybe two, three times a year, even though they lived in her city. The real saint was my sister, who took care of her for years until she couldn't take it any more.

It does hurt. But the important part is that you need to remember what good there was between you (I assume that there was). And perhaps Thanksgiving can come back if you share it with other people you care about. Four years ago I started helping some of my friends, who are also struggling with money, to have a turkey and trimmings for Thanksgiving. This year, assuming that I can't get to work on the holiday, I may help out at the local homeless shelter, cooking or serving Thanksgiving dinner to people who are truly in need.

(I'm not doing that in memory of Mom. She refused to have friends, never gave much to charity and was suspicious of everyone throughout her life. I'm doing it instead of her, as something she should have done.)