I accidentally Kirk&Spock
An Overly Long Author's Note:
Past weeks I've been watching TOS for the first time in my life (I've heard that I did watch some as a child but I can't remember), so this is literally my first ever Star Trek fanfic. Through cultural osmosis I've of course always known a lot about Trek (like, about K/S ofc), but only after seeing the 2009 reboot film, I decided to find out what it's really all about and started with TOS.
While watching the reboot film, I actually thought that the juicy slashyness there must have been exaggerated from the originals, but now that I've seen TOS I know the truth. They seemed to have filtered most of the slash away for the reboot film! And here I thought that homosexuality wasn't decent in the 60's!
Anyhow. This is my take on why the heck Kirk and Spock are so OBVIOUS all the time. It actually started with just that dialogue between Kirk&McCoy, but while I wrote it, Spock wanted to join and then Kirk wanted to... you'll get the picture. They are so very stubborn, both of them. What's a writer to do?
Author's Note after editing the story: I've been corrupted! I added hints of McCoy/Kirk in there! But it's still a Kirk and Spock story. As all of Trek is. But on the other hand I also corrected crazy mistakes and silly things and altered the end to better suit canon (in both verses). I hope it's better now. :) Still not convinced it's ready, but better.
Yet another edit: It's now officially reboot-verse, just so I won't offend any TOS fans with the faulty facts about Bones&Jim having met in the academy. But I don't think reboot-Kirk's smile could confuse ensigns to walk into walls, so mix those verses to suit your choice of K/S.
Rating: PG
Summary: Why Kirk and Spock aren't all that subtle.
Timeline: works best fact-wise in reboot-verse, after the film, although the inspiration came from the obviousness in TOS. Mix and blend, then.
Pairings: K/S, one-sided or slight Bones/Kirk
Warnings: slash and naughty language + no beta since I don't got one
Subtlety
It had been a grave mistake. What on Earth was it again that got him convinced to go ask Bones if humans and vulcans were sexually compatible? He should have known Bones would ask why and he should have know he couldn't resist answering, just to upset his friend. Which, for the record, had worked pretty admirably, but clearly was also going to earn him quite a lecture on something called "subtlety".
"You're not completely the same - I mean, he looks like us, but it's completely different thing with vulcans. They've got green blood and pointed ears for gods sake, Jim. Our species are compatible physically but it's not so simple psychologically, can't you see?"
"All I see is a gorgeous First Officer on my bridge when he'd look even better in my bed and no Star Fleet regulations stating that I shouldn't try to remedy the situation."
"You don't know anything about wooing a vulcan - their psychology is completely alien and on top of that they are telepaths - it's bound to be a catastrophy and what are we going to do for the rest of the fice years with you pining after him and him being all kinds of uncomfortable about you? Not our work, that's for sure! And don't tell me you won't screw up, you can't possibly know what to do, you skipped all the culture classes on Vulcan!"
"They were on Monday mornings! Half the class skipped them! And I did pass the examn, didn't I?"
"You cheated just like that half of the class. You might as well throw a rock at him, it'll work just as well as your so -called charms and tricks." Kirk flashed his best cocky-but-yet-so-charming smile at Bones as an answer to this.
"No-one can resist my charms. You should know. No-one. Not even a vulcan. I've seen him look, he's curious."
"You can't be serious! You're the most illogical human I know - of course he's curious, but not the way you think! Relations with vulcans need great amounts of subtlety - something you are terminally unable to understand! There's no chance you could seduce a vulcan!"
"You haven't seen him look at me! It's more than confusement about my 'illogicality' and charmingly rash tactiques. He's got the hots for me, Bones, and I'm getting enough of the intense gazes and fleeting 'by-accident' touches - I aim to misbehave!"
"You... you can't be serious... can you?" Bones' shock just got worse when Kirk continued:
"As a matter of fact, I don't think I've never been this serious! I even checked my notes - err, your notes - from that beforementioned culture class! Pity it was so early, it was very interesting you know, especially the sensitive hands part," Kirk sounded like an excited child going on about a new hobby, "And I read about the mind meddling thingy too. Very interesting. And very hot, too, I figure it could be used in many interesting ways... And I do know I'll need to be subtle - I of course intend to do this very discreetly. Really! What a challenge! Fascinating I'd say, fascinating indeed!"
And, as always at this point, Mr Spock walked in through the front door of the sickbay, looking not at all surprised at seeing his Captain there. Spock knew that Fascinating was a word Jim usually only used when he was using sarcasm on him.
"What is so fascinating, Captain?" Spock queried.
"You are!" Kirk announced with a big smile, as if it was completely normal to call his First Officer fascinating, just like that.
"Jim...!" Bones started, but decided there was nothing he could do about this. He winced inwardly when he saw the bafflement in the vulcan's eyes and mentally started counting how many bottles of anything with alcohol he had and if it could possibly be enough for him to forget this day permanently.
In the meanwhile Kirk and Spock had settled to stare at each other, Spock seemingly curious about the former statement and Kirk ... well, Bones had seen that look before directed to many pretty girls. It was nearly irresistible (he should know), but it could still hardly work on a vulcan. Yet there was something in that look between those two that made McCoy feel uneasy. It was somehow too intense. It made him want to find a sudden, acute emergenzy that would force everyone react and go to work and stop staring like that. It was intimidating even though no-one was staring at him. He couldn't stand it. They needed the klingons to attack and right this instant.
Or at least he needed to get them out of his sight.
"Oh to hell with it, Jim!" Bones yelled suddenly, breaking the silence, "Fine, at least I warned you! Go ahead and play your little games with your favourite Science Officer then. But as long as you keep it out of my sickbay - I don't mend broken hearts! I'm a doctor, not a therapist!"
He shooed them both out of the doors and into the corridor and slammed the sickbay doors shut and locked them. It was of course a useless gesture since both of the senior officers had the emergency authorisation codes to open the lock, but the message was clearer this way. He sighed and went to his office to get something to drink.
"Doctor McCoy seemed highly illogical today," Spock commented after the doors shut.
Jim nodded in agreement at the statement and gave a laugh at the locked door. Then he turned to face his First Officer and his smile grew into a slightly predatory smirk.
"You know what else's illogical?" Jim asked. "You were four minutes late for your check-up."
The vulcan only looked at the captain and slightly lifted one eyebrow. Jim answered the unvoiced question with a shrug. "A captain should know when his First Officer has medical examinations, just in case the klingons attack or we run into an alien anomaly. The point here is: you're never late, so I take it that you were eaves-dropping."
"Vulcans do not eaves-drop."
"Vulcans also don't lie, Spock. And you're half-human." Kirk's smirk was one of his best of the flirty kind, but Spock showed no sign of noticing it.
"I did not want to interrupt your conversation so I waited in the corridor until I thought I was too late and I decided to come in and ask if-"
But Jim cut Spock's explanations short by stepping right into his First Officer's personal space and looking at his First seemingly curious and amused.
"With those ears, I bet you heard every word through that door," Jim commented, nodding at the locked sicbay door. Spock hesitated only half a second in nodding and answering, but Jim noticed.
"I wouldn't have if you had not nearly yelled."
"Well, I wasn't exactly whispering," Jim said, his voice purposefully low and quiet, and he even risked to move just an inch closer to the vulcan who already seemed to be slightly uncomfortable about their proximity. He smiled daringly, locked eyes with Spock and nearly whispered: "Although with you I might like to do some whispering."
There was a moment when Jim nearly thought he had caught Spock off guard. He could swear he saw a fleeting emotion in those brown eyes. But then Spock stepped back and the spell was broken, if there ever was one.
"Is this your idea of subtlety, Captain?" Spock asked, lifting an eyebrow at Jim. There was almost a smirk on his lips when Jim's best flirty bedroom eyes faded into a sheepish, slightly apologetic smile.
"Uh... yes?" he managed.
"Fascinating indeed," Spock commented, still looking at his Captain curiously. Jim got a feeling that he was being analyzed just like that intelligent silicon-based lifeform on their last mission.
Except there was something else in his First Officer's eyes. Something not so analytical. It made Jim wonder...
"What's so fascinating, Spock?" He dared.
"You are," Spock answered without hesitation and with all the vulcan stoicness he could muster.
As if he hadn't just blurted out he found his Captain fascinating. As if he couldn't feel his heart beat twice as fast as was necessary.
Then Kirk smiled and stepped closer again. Spock thought it was very unlogical that his heart raced even faster.
"I knew Bones got it wrong," Kirk said. "Vulcan or not, you ain't at all that subtle yourself - why should I be?"
Spock could not find a logical objection to the statement. His lack of answer was in no way related to the unnecessary proximity of the the other man, or that knowing yet alluring smile targeted at him.
"I think we're going to have a very fascinating five-year mission, Mr Spock," Kirk stated and a passing ensign nearly walked into a wall when he glimpsed at the Captain's smile. Spock didn't have a logical objection to that statement, either. So he merely nodded in agreement. Fascinating indeed.
The fact that after that their eyes stayed locked until the next ensign nearly stumbled to a wall while staring at them confusedly, was simply a coincidence. A Captain and his First Officer could look at each other with no reason when ever they felt like it, couldn't they?
Inside the medical bay Bones was pouring his third shot and still remembering those two fools he had just shooed out. He muttered something about bloody stiff vulcans and stupid rash captains after drowning it. He was sure this was a bad idea - meaning the Kirk and Spock thing. It definitely wasn't jealousy, but something about it made him feel uneasy. He had a feeling Kirk was right, no-one could resist his charms, probably not even vulcans. He muttered a curse and poured another shot.
It would indeed turn out to be an interesting five-year mission.
A/N: Please, comment! I don't know what to do with this, but I still don't like the way it ends!