summer of love
summer of love; 2572 w.
kris/luhan; r.
warning(s): romantic angst, surprise twists at every corner, almost-tragedy.
in which love ensues but is led astray by the seasons
Maybe it was when they first met, or maybe when they first broke up, or perhaps the time they had their first kiss, or the time they celebrated their one year anniversary with each other in Kris's one-bedroom flat that he was able to afford from a loan from the bank on Luhan's behalf; maybe the way they both took the initiative and held each others' hands at the park in the dimming glimmer of the half-faded lamppost but one thing is certain that their summer of love was nothing more than jaded. Jaded in the sense that everything had become dull, lifeless, worthless, excess, and nothing more than a tawdry relationship based on the ill-fated love these two had.
Love: it comes in all types of forms and shapes and manifests itself in ways that cannot be explained. However, what these two had was nothing more than a shape or a form, nothing more than a four-letter word, and nothing more than the way Kris loved how Luhan would run his hand through his hair every morning and give him a kiss goodnight every evening.
They moved in together right when Kris decided that he didn't want to play the game of life anymore. Moving one space at a time; it had all become too much for him but the only thing he truly needed was Luhan by his side, to help him through the bad and stick with him through the tough, which happened more than anyone could possibly enjoy. Nonetheless, he kept a stiff upper lip and even after all the general cliche novelties of his past, he made it through and knew never to look back, as one old Studio Ghibli movie had taught him so long ago. At this point in his life, nothing made sense, and at the next starting point, even his relationship with Luhan stopped making sense. It wasn't a sort of "life comes crashing down" sort of point though, but it could be described as nothing less of a sticker remark on the times they've spent together and the ways they've loved each other.
After all of the unpacking had begun, Luhan knew it wasn't for him. The way Kris constantly looked down on himself, the way he constantly and unwaveringly felt unaccomplished with his life's achievements; everything was beginning to fall into place, as fate had just the right plan for the two of them. He sensed that something was wrong, but he could never confront Kris about it due to the fact that he kept secrets of his own. Not those types of secrets from the over-passe soap operas, but the ones where it's hard to find anyone to trust when you can barely even trust yourself.
"Kris, do you know what you want to do with your life? We're already in our early twenties, and yet we both act as if we have no ambitions to create our own futures and grasp what we could possibly have right in front of our eyes without even knowing it."
He looks down as Kris refuses to make eye contact with him and he slams his fist into the wall in a fit of anger, frustration and downright lack of compensation for a genuine answer. He wonders to himself what has become of their relationship and how they could ever salvage anything they had left together. He hopes it's all a dream but this is one dream who no one would wish to wake up from. He knew his answer to Luhan, but the past that killed him on the inside was not knowing what his reaction would be to the looming statements which would come next.
It's been a month since then and absolutely nothing has gotten easier due to the fact that the Spring of love had come and gone and left the both of them in the shadows. Spring, normally a time of being reborn and finding new love; becoming a new person and blooming from past experiences and all the broken hearts and used-up tape dispensers.
"I want to break up."
This line, however seldom used, tore the both of them down and left each other unable to repair and find the spark that led them to all the wonderful and timeless memories. A trip down memory lane was nothing more than a bad experience, something anyone would love to forget. Luhan cringes at the empty apartment, the barren walls, the dusty television set and most of all the empty toothbrush cup. When Kris was just starting out as an intern for his favorite music producing company, everything he did, he did for Luhan. When he asked Luhan to move in with him, the first thing he bought was a toothbrush, in Luhan's favorite color and he wrapped it up in a beautiful bow.
It was the first and last gift Kris would ever buy for him; because all the other presents after that were more than gifts, they were "symbols of love" as Luhan would put it.
"Luhan, I love you and I never want to leave your side. You are truly my everything."
This line had become taboo for the both of them after Luhan had become aware of the fact that Kris had quit his job and begun life outside their home as a pan-handler. He wasn't necessarily shaken by the fact that Kris did it only to provide for Luhan, but because of the fact that Kris had become self-aware that his path in life wasn't to be happy as an intern. He wanted to become something more and that something more had everything to do with his second love: music.
It was his passion one could say, just as one would wish to live out one's dream in the fullest way possible. Kris did just that though all the lies he made Luhan fake his way through, he made it, but in Luhan's eyes, he was nothing more than a failure in all matters of the word.
"You're a liar, a cheat and a dirty scumbag. I've given you everything and yet you only want what's best for you and your future. What am I to you? A missing piece of just another relationship in the matchbook?"
Kris had no answer, no remark, no rebuttal, no rebuke; he had absolutely nothing to say on the matter because he knew that nothing he could say would make any of this better. It was a harsh reality, but they both knew it was for the best. It was almost as if they had loved each other so much that it got to the point where they had fallen out of love. Fate had the answer to this conflict though, and once more, the seasons changed and it was the Summer of love.
The Summer of love was a way, a perfect reasoning for the two of them to fall in love once more. A love so pure it would knock the socks off of any fairy tale or princess story. To be cliche was the goal and to the point of whether or not they had achieved it would be the complete victory. The Summer of love was a challenge to fate and the two of them knew what would come next.
Kris had made something of himself within the season time-frame and Luhan had carefully moved on, making sure not to shatter his heart in the process again. He rented out a loft and made a decent living by working with the temp agency to fill empty spots at companies. He went on in life somewhat aimlessly however, he felt lost in the city he had come to know and love. Every time he would try and go out, he would only end up at home with a once again broken heart and a tape dispenser that never worked. He lived in a new place and a different part of the city but his heart was never with him. He could still picture the empty walls and all the times they had spent together.
He began to wish that love was a word that the dictionary had no definition to; no such examples or synonyms. He loathed it with his entire being until he broke down and fell to his knees. Everything hurt and nothing was fine. He wanted to die and this was the first time in a long time he had such resolve to do anything, even if it was the most detrimental thing a human could do to oneself. It was eight in the evening and he took the elevator down. In a moment of sheer sadness, Kris was on his way up on the next elevator to see Luhan, to make amends and to salvage whatever was left of their relationship. This isn't going to end how most cliches like this do though, and they both realize that and run with the fact that they're both so madly in love that fate could not even stop them.
In a twist of events, the elevators break down and both are stuck in two separate elevators. Luhan had been stuck in elevator A, with a mother and her young daughter, a teenager who looked all too much like a person just trying to find a place in the world, and the flickering light of the broken emergency button. Kris had been in elevator B, with a man who looked down on his luck, and a woman with everything yet nothing at all. In a lapse of panic, Luhan pulls out his phone and tries to call emergency services, with no luck. Kris slams his fist on the emergency button, and the entire lift falls an entire story. Luhan's lift feels the tug and pull of the cables and to no avail, the lights go out.
"This can't be the end. I still have so much left to tell Kris. This can't be happening. It must all be a dream."
But just like how Kris had wished for his reality to be a dream, this was no exception to the matter. As humans all must realize, fate is a cruel mistress and can either take pity or
abhorrence with its victims. Fate, in this case, had further plans for these two star-crossed lovers and with a swish of a magic wand, the elevators dropped and their Summer of love had come to a near-end.
"..han. ...Luhan. Luhan! You're awake! Oh my goodness, I need to call the doctor over!"
He slowly opened his eyes and found himself laid down on a hospital bed in a pure, white hospital gown with all recollection of his memories. But he questioned himself: had everything only been a dream? The doctor walks into the room and tells Luhan that he's been in a medically-induced coma for the past few months due to a slight run in with a potentially fatal car accident, as cliche as it would sound. He asks about the elevator, all his memories and of a man whose name he can't remember, but his family has no answer for him as they only look on in disbelief that Luhan is spouting such nonsense of memories which never actually happened. He stays in shock for the next few minutes as he sees another gurney wheeled into his room, with a man wearing the same pure, white hospital gown and a face that could capture the hearts of girls everywhere.
The nurses move the man from the gurney onto the bed to the left of Luhan's and for some odd reason, he sees the man and feels a sense of nostalgia in the best sense, but is unable to recognize the face. The man wakes up and looks around the room, in the same fashion as Luhan and the doctor explains to him that he has had trauma to his head from a stage collapse at a concert he had attended from months back, which led to the injury-induced coma. He looks over at Luhan once the doctor leaves and introduces himself, with a bit of difficulty of motor skills and flaccid limbs. He doesn't say his name however and the two of them fall asleep in the room.
The next day Luhan wonders once more of the man whose name he can't remember for the life of him and all the memories he's attained, no matter how tawdry or false they may be. He knows those are the memories he will keep near and dear to him. The man in the bed next to his wakes up and utters his own name in a bit of a whisper, almost as if it wasn't it own name or just the very fact that he can't recognize it bothers him to his very core. A few more weeks pass by as the two of them become better acquainted with each other and they learn each others' names: Luhan and Kris.
Kris tells him of his slowly regressing memories of him and a man whom he loved so dearly, and the times they spent together in love, and also the times they spent apart. He tells Luhan that even though the face is blurry and he can't quite seem to remember the man's name, he knows that they'll meet again and Luhan smiles as he knows that such a wish could never be fulfilled.
Luhan is discharged from the hospital first and he says his goodbyes to Kris, as they shake each others' hands and hope to meet each other someday in a better setting. They each smile and Kris lies back on his bed as he watches Luhan being wheeled out of the room and onto the elevator. He smiles once more as the doors close and he closes his eyes as he can once more see the memories of him and the man in pure bliss. Fate indeed had other plans for the two of them as the Summer of love had come to an end with the beginning of a new season on the rise.
Kris knew that something in his life was still missing, even after being discharged from the hospital, he feels as if a chunk of his being had come and gone, without even a moment's notice. He walks to the park in a fit of useless time efficiency and watches the lamppost flicker every so-often. Luhan walks up to him in a light coat and they say their greetings before beginning a conversation. They talk about their current lives and as they sit in a comfortable silence, Luhan remarks that Autumn is an unforgiving season, as Kris only looks down at his chapped hands from the brisk air of the night.
"Luhan. That's a nice name."
Kris remarks as he begins to stand up and walk away, saying a goodbye and goodnight to Luhan. Luhan smiles and wonders if they'll ever meet again as he walks in the opposite direction.
"Goodbye, Kris."
And at that moment, the two of them wonder what's in-store for their future and if they'll ever cross paths once more. The lamppost bulb burns out and all the memories they had together die out with the bulb. Fate is cruel, as well as life, and in this turn of events, perhaps it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
a/n: oh gosh this was longer than I had originally anticipated..
kris/luhan; r.
warning(s): romantic angst, surprise twists at every corner, almost-tragedy.
in which love ensues but is led astray by the seasons
Maybe it was when they first met, or maybe when they first broke up, or perhaps the time they had their first kiss, or the time they celebrated their one year anniversary with each other in Kris's one-bedroom flat that he was able to afford from a loan from the bank on Luhan's behalf; maybe the way they both took the initiative and held each others' hands at the park in the dimming glimmer of the half-faded lamppost but one thing is certain that their summer of love was nothing more than jaded. Jaded in the sense that everything had become dull, lifeless, worthless, excess, and nothing more than a tawdry relationship based on the ill-fated love these two had.
Love: it comes in all types of forms and shapes and manifests itself in ways that cannot be explained. However, what these two had was nothing more than a shape or a form, nothing more than a four-letter word, and nothing more than the way Kris loved how Luhan would run his hand through his hair every morning and give him a kiss goodnight every evening.
They moved in together right when Kris decided that he didn't want to play the game of life anymore. Moving one space at a time; it had all become too much for him but the only thing he truly needed was Luhan by his side, to help him through the bad and stick with him through the tough, which happened more than anyone could possibly enjoy. Nonetheless, he kept a stiff upper lip and even after all the general cliche novelties of his past, he made it through and knew never to look back, as one old Studio Ghibli movie had taught him so long ago. At this point in his life, nothing made sense, and at the next starting point, even his relationship with Luhan stopped making sense. It wasn't a sort of "life comes crashing down" sort of point though, but it could be described as nothing less of a sticker remark on the times they've spent together and the ways they've loved each other.
After all of the unpacking had begun, Luhan knew it wasn't for him. The way Kris constantly looked down on himself, the way he constantly and unwaveringly felt unaccomplished with his life's achievements; everything was beginning to fall into place, as fate had just the right plan for the two of them. He sensed that something was wrong, but he could never confront Kris about it due to the fact that he kept secrets of his own. Not those types of secrets from the over-passe soap operas, but the ones where it's hard to find anyone to trust when you can barely even trust yourself.
"Kris, do you know what you want to do with your life? We're already in our early twenties, and yet we both act as if we have no ambitions to create our own futures and grasp what we could possibly have right in front of our eyes without even knowing it."
He looks down as Kris refuses to make eye contact with him and he slams his fist into the wall in a fit of anger, frustration and downright lack of compensation for a genuine answer. He wonders to himself what has become of their relationship and how they could ever salvage anything they had left together. He hopes it's all a dream but this is one dream who no one would wish to wake up from. He knew his answer to Luhan, but the past that killed him on the inside was not knowing what his reaction would be to the looming statements which would come next.
It's been a month since then and absolutely nothing has gotten easier due to the fact that the Spring of love had come and gone and left the both of them in the shadows. Spring, normally a time of being reborn and finding new love; becoming a new person and blooming from past experiences and all the broken hearts and used-up tape dispensers.
"I want to break up."
This line, however seldom used, tore the both of them down and left each other unable to repair and find the spark that led them to all the wonderful and timeless memories. A trip down memory lane was nothing more than a bad experience, something anyone would love to forget. Luhan cringes at the empty apartment, the barren walls, the dusty television set and most of all the empty toothbrush cup. When Kris was just starting out as an intern for his favorite music producing company, everything he did, he did for Luhan. When he asked Luhan to move in with him, the first thing he bought was a toothbrush, in Luhan's favorite color and he wrapped it up in a beautiful bow.
It was the first and last gift Kris would ever buy for him; because all the other presents after that were more than gifts, they were "symbols of love" as Luhan would put it.
"Luhan, I love you and I never want to leave your side. You are truly my everything."
This line had become taboo for the both of them after Luhan had become aware of the fact that Kris had quit his job and begun life outside their home as a pan-handler. He wasn't necessarily shaken by the fact that Kris did it only to provide for Luhan, but because of the fact that Kris had become self-aware that his path in life wasn't to be happy as an intern. He wanted to become something more and that something more had everything to do with his second love: music.
It was his passion one could say, just as one would wish to live out one's dream in the fullest way possible. Kris did just that though all the lies he made Luhan fake his way through, he made it, but in Luhan's eyes, he was nothing more than a failure in all matters of the word.
"You're a liar, a cheat and a dirty scumbag. I've given you everything and yet you only want what's best for you and your future. What am I to you? A missing piece of just another relationship in the matchbook?"
Kris had no answer, no remark, no rebuttal, no rebuke; he had absolutely nothing to say on the matter because he knew that nothing he could say would make any of this better. It was a harsh reality, but they both knew it was for the best. It was almost as if they had loved each other so much that it got to the point where they had fallen out of love. Fate had the answer to this conflict though, and once more, the seasons changed and it was the Summer of love.
The Summer of love was a way, a perfect reasoning for the two of them to fall in love once more. A love so pure it would knock the socks off of any fairy tale or princess story. To be cliche was the goal and to the point of whether or not they had achieved it would be the complete victory. The Summer of love was a challenge to fate and the two of them knew what would come next.
Kris had made something of himself within the season time-frame and Luhan had carefully moved on, making sure not to shatter his heart in the process again. He rented out a loft and made a decent living by working with the temp agency to fill empty spots at companies. He went on in life somewhat aimlessly however, he felt lost in the city he had come to know and love. Every time he would try and go out, he would only end up at home with a once again broken heart and a tape dispenser that never worked. He lived in a new place and a different part of the city but his heart was never with him. He could still picture the empty walls and all the times they had spent together.
He began to wish that love was a word that the dictionary had no definition to; no such examples or synonyms. He loathed it with his entire being until he broke down and fell to his knees. Everything hurt and nothing was fine. He wanted to die and this was the first time in a long time he had such resolve to do anything, even if it was the most detrimental thing a human could do to oneself. It was eight in the evening and he took the elevator down. In a moment of sheer sadness, Kris was on his way up on the next elevator to see Luhan, to make amends and to salvage whatever was left of their relationship. This isn't going to end how most cliches like this do though, and they both realize that and run with the fact that they're both so madly in love that fate could not even stop them.
In a twist of events, the elevators break down and both are stuck in two separate elevators. Luhan had been stuck in elevator A, with a mother and her young daughter, a teenager who looked all too much like a person just trying to find a place in the world, and the flickering light of the broken emergency button. Kris had been in elevator B, with a man who looked down on his luck, and a woman with everything yet nothing at all. In a lapse of panic, Luhan pulls out his phone and tries to call emergency services, with no luck. Kris slams his fist on the emergency button, and the entire lift falls an entire story. Luhan's lift feels the tug and pull of the cables and to no avail, the lights go out.
"This can't be the end. I still have so much left to tell Kris. This can't be happening. It must all be a dream."
But just like how Kris had wished for his reality to be a dream, this was no exception to the matter. As humans all must realize, fate is a cruel mistress and can either take pity or
abhorrence with its victims. Fate, in this case, had further plans for these two star-crossed lovers and with a swish of a magic wand, the elevators dropped and their Summer of love had come to a near-end.
"..han. ...Luhan. Luhan! You're awake! Oh my goodness, I need to call the doctor over!"
He slowly opened his eyes and found himself laid down on a hospital bed in a pure, white hospital gown with all recollection of his memories. But he questioned himself: had everything only been a dream? The doctor walks into the room and tells Luhan that he's been in a medically-induced coma for the past few months due to a slight run in with a potentially fatal car accident, as cliche as it would sound. He asks about the elevator, all his memories and of a man whose name he can't remember, but his family has no answer for him as they only look on in disbelief that Luhan is spouting such nonsense of memories which never actually happened. He stays in shock for the next few minutes as he sees another gurney wheeled into his room, with a man wearing the same pure, white hospital gown and a face that could capture the hearts of girls everywhere.
The nurses move the man from the gurney onto the bed to the left of Luhan's and for some odd reason, he sees the man and feels a sense of nostalgia in the best sense, but is unable to recognize the face. The man wakes up and looks around the room, in the same fashion as Luhan and the doctor explains to him that he has had trauma to his head from a stage collapse at a concert he had attended from months back, which led to the injury-induced coma. He looks over at Luhan once the doctor leaves and introduces himself, with a bit of difficulty of motor skills and flaccid limbs. He doesn't say his name however and the two of them fall asleep in the room.
The next day Luhan wonders once more of the man whose name he can't remember for the life of him and all the memories he's attained, no matter how tawdry or false they may be. He knows those are the memories he will keep near and dear to him. The man in the bed next to his wakes up and utters his own name in a bit of a whisper, almost as if it wasn't it own name or just the very fact that he can't recognize it bothers him to his very core. A few more weeks pass by as the two of them become better acquainted with each other and they learn each others' names: Luhan and Kris.
Kris tells him of his slowly regressing memories of him and a man whom he loved so dearly, and the times they spent together in love, and also the times they spent apart. He tells Luhan that even though the face is blurry and he can't quite seem to remember the man's name, he knows that they'll meet again and Luhan smiles as he knows that such a wish could never be fulfilled.
Luhan is discharged from the hospital first and he says his goodbyes to Kris, as they shake each others' hands and hope to meet each other someday in a better setting. They each smile and Kris lies back on his bed as he watches Luhan being wheeled out of the room and onto the elevator. He smiles once more as the doors close and he closes his eyes as he can once more see the memories of him and the man in pure bliss. Fate indeed had other plans for the two of them as the Summer of love had come to an end with the beginning of a new season on the rise.
Kris knew that something in his life was still missing, even after being discharged from the hospital, he feels as if a chunk of his being had come and gone, without even a moment's notice. He walks to the park in a fit of useless time efficiency and watches the lamppost flicker every so-often. Luhan walks up to him in a light coat and they say their greetings before beginning a conversation. They talk about their current lives and as they sit in a comfortable silence, Luhan remarks that Autumn is an unforgiving season, as Kris only looks down at his chapped hands from the brisk air of the night.
"Luhan. That's a nice name."
Kris remarks as he begins to stand up and walk away, saying a goodbye and goodnight to Luhan. Luhan smiles and wonders if they'll ever meet again as he walks in the opposite direction.
"Goodbye, Kris."
And at that moment, the two of them wonder what's in-store for their future and if they'll ever cross paths once more. The lamppost bulb burns out and all the memories they had together die out with the bulb. Fate is cruel, as well as life, and in this turn of events, perhaps it was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
a/n: oh gosh this was longer than I had originally anticipated..