(no subject)
I haven't posted on here in a really long time, so I don't know how many people even check this anymore. I need to get some thoughts out.
I am realizing that I have no clue of how I'm suppose to interact with the world. At various points in my life I've tried everything from seclusion to interacting with everyone possible, from actively trying to help people to sitting back and waiting until they realize they've messed up and then telling them it's ok. At work I try and do what's best for people I've never met. I mostly just want to figure out what would be best for everyone and do that, but it seems that no matter what I do it sucks for someone in some way. But I realize that I have absolutely no idea of what to do, cause if I say, "screw everyone, I'm gonna quit trying" then that is wrong, but at the same time if I try to save everyone I'm told that I can't.
I don't know if this is something everyone goes through or if it is evidence that I'm as jacked up as I have long suspected. It's just so confusing. Oh well, this will most likely pass at some point or maybe I'll just be constantly learning. It's amazing how easy it is to feel like you've done a good job and also completely screwed up at the same time. I'm learning to just take the day as it is and figuring out the rest later. Well that's my thoughts I wanted to sort out.
I am realizing that I have no clue of how I'm suppose to interact with the world. At various points in my life I've tried everything from seclusion to interacting with everyone possible, from actively trying to help people to sitting back and waiting until they realize they've messed up and then telling them it's ok. At work I try and do what's best for people I've never met. I mostly just want to figure out what would be best for everyone and do that, but it seems that no matter what I do it sucks for someone in some way. But I realize that I have absolutely no idea of what to do, cause if I say, "screw everyone, I'm gonna quit trying" then that is wrong, but at the same time if I try to save everyone I'm told that I can't.
I don't know if this is something everyone goes through or if it is evidence that I'm as jacked up as I have long suspected. It's just so confusing. Oh well, this will most likely pass at some point or maybe I'll just be constantly learning. It's amazing how easy it is to feel like you've done a good job and also completely screwed up at the same time. I'm learning to just take the day as it is and figuring out the rest later. Well that's my thoughts I wanted to sort out.