hahahahahaha (i'm laughing)
Rissa's Sweet 16 kicked ass. She was absolutely GORGEOUS. I'd upload pics, but it's the shitty quality of camphones...you know. O'Kieffe (lol) was awesome. Brian, I love you, you know that! It was all in good fun. Pshaw *hand flip* ::cough:: fruit ::cough::
Wow, I LOVE my Govvies. They're so proactive! Especially for socially important causes, such as that of the anal babies:
"Babies to cry a river over discrimination"
by Sarah Hellman ('06) / Eastside Editor in Chief
In an effort to eliminate as much discrimination as possible, the administration has recently invested in a new program to educate the community on the importance of appreciating people for who they are, rather than where they come from.
The decision to implement this new education after two Cherry Hill East students reported other students' intolerance of the way they were born. Twins Annie and Hannah du Rierre ('08), who are among few people that are able to live with the condition Birthus Tuchus, came out about the discrimination because they do not feel that such prejudices do not belong in such a welcoming environment.
"When we heard that these girls were being harassed, we realized that we must immediately take a stand," said Derin Solu, who works to promote equality in the district. "There is no reason to discriminate against people based on the nature of their birth. This is a politically correct district, we're going to keep it that way."
Birthus Tuchus begins as an ectopic pregnancy when a woman's fertilized egg implants itself outside the uterus. The egg then travels to the intestines, where the embryo begins to develop. In the rare occasion that the fetus survives, the baby must then be born through the anus, thus earning surviving children the appellation of being "anal babies."
"Being an anal baby is nothing to be ashamed of. Very few of these fetuses even have a chance at surviving. Often, before the mother is even aware of a pregnancy, the baby is born prematurely, only to drown in the toilet. About one out of every 500,000 fertilized eggs travel to the intestines, and only ten percent of those will ever survive. That means one out of every five million children is an anal baby - these kids are practically heroes," said Dr. Jacob Waters, the leading expert on Birthus Tuchus.
In order to promote awareness in the district, Assistant Principal Andrew Hall has personally taking the initiative of establishing a chapter of the Save the Anal Babies Foundation (STAB) in Cherry Hill.
"STAB is a very active organization that works toward keeping discrimination limited to ethnicity and gender. Every year they hold a huge benefit concert called FlushAid, which features a variety of popular artists that draw all sorts of fans, up in Mahwah, NJ in order to raise money for people suffering from Birthus Tuchus - it's about time Cherry Hill became a part of it," said Hall.
In last year's concert alone, FlushAid collected more money than the Backstreet Boys did in their entire career.
"STAB is becoming a very prominent organization in this country - it's growing so fast that soon people are going to forget about problems like AIDS and Africa's utter lack of any infrastructure whatsoever, and people are going to think only of the poor anal babies," said Dr. Waters, who co-founded STAB in honor of a friend who lost a potential sibling to Birthus Rectus. The district is already noting improvement in the level of discrimination against anal babies, commented Solu in a press release.
"It is clear that many students are exchanging prejudicial phrases, such as 'pain in the butt,' for less hurtful idioms, such as 'move it fatso,'" she said. "At the rate we're eliminating hatred among students, we're bound to win another Blue Ribbon."
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Admit it. That deserves a Pulitzer Prize.
Haha, gov school r0xx3rs my b0xx3rs.
Wow, I LOVE my Govvies. They're so proactive! Especially for socially important causes, such as that of the anal babies:
"Babies to cry a river over discrimination"
by Sarah Hellman ('06) / Eastside Editor in Chief
In an effort to eliminate as much discrimination as possible, the administration has recently invested in a new program to educate the community on the importance of appreciating people for who they are, rather than where they come from.
The decision to implement this new education after two Cherry Hill East students reported other students' intolerance of the way they were born. Twins Annie and Hannah du Rierre ('08), who are among few people that are able to live with the condition Birthus Tuchus, came out about the discrimination because they do not feel that such prejudices do not belong in such a welcoming environment.
"When we heard that these girls were being harassed, we realized that we must immediately take a stand," said Derin Solu, who works to promote equality in the district. "There is no reason to discriminate against people based on the nature of their birth. This is a politically correct district, we're going to keep it that way."
Birthus Tuchus begins as an ectopic pregnancy when a woman's fertilized egg implants itself outside the uterus. The egg then travels to the intestines, where the embryo begins to develop. In the rare occasion that the fetus survives, the baby must then be born through the anus, thus earning surviving children the appellation of being "anal babies."
"Being an anal baby is nothing to be ashamed of. Very few of these fetuses even have a chance at surviving. Often, before the mother is even aware of a pregnancy, the baby is born prematurely, only to drown in the toilet. About one out of every 500,000 fertilized eggs travel to the intestines, and only ten percent of those will ever survive. That means one out of every five million children is an anal baby - these kids are practically heroes," said Dr. Jacob Waters, the leading expert on Birthus Tuchus.
In order to promote awareness in the district, Assistant Principal Andrew Hall has personally taking the initiative of establishing a chapter of the Save the Anal Babies Foundation (STAB) in Cherry Hill.
"STAB is a very active organization that works toward keeping discrimination limited to ethnicity and gender. Every year they hold a huge benefit concert called FlushAid, which features a variety of popular artists that draw all sorts of fans, up in Mahwah, NJ in order to raise money for people suffering from Birthus Tuchus - it's about time Cherry Hill became a part of it," said Hall.
In last year's concert alone, FlushAid collected more money than the Backstreet Boys did in their entire career.
"STAB is becoming a very prominent organization in this country - it's growing so fast that soon people are going to forget about problems like AIDS and Africa's utter lack of any infrastructure whatsoever, and people are going to think only of the poor anal babies," said Dr. Waters, who co-founded STAB in honor of a friend who lost a potential sibling to Birthus Rectus. The district is already noting improvement in the level of discrimination against anal babies, commented Solu in a press release.
"It is clear that many students are exchanging prejudicial phrases, such as 'pain in the butt,' for less hurtful idioms, such as 'move it fatso,'" she said. "At the rate we're eliminating hatred among students, we're bound to win another Blue Ribbon."
-----------------------------------------------------
Admit it. That deserves a Pulitzer Prize.
Haha, gov school r0xx3rs my b0xx3rs.