time? whats that??
wow so much to say. so much has happened and yet i dont know how to react to it all..
first of all we'll discuss how i went from highly disappointed to very excited and content and relieved.. in 18 hours. i say 18 because 12 wasnt long enough even though if you get the right 12 hours.. man that was beautiful. but 24 would work as well but it just gets to boring. on tuesday i called regarding my loan to go to malaysia-- long story short they didnt update the internet so i had more things to turn in and some other stuff to send in. i didnt think i'd have enough time to get the loan and couldnt go. this was on top of having to need a 97% on my calc final to get a C in the class. so i didnt study that night just hung out with natalie cuz that made my grade better im sure. well i took her home around 830 and then by 1030.. i was in bed. that was beautiful i didnt want to be conscious anymore. get a call from lee at 130 and so i went over there. i love being around friends and i really love being around him and being there for him with everything thats happened in the past two months or so. we talked i brought up where we stood if we were just friends, friends with benefits or what. it was a totally serious talk and i needed that. i've been waiting for that. he said i was a good companion but we dont know each other well enough to be girlfriend/boyfriend. well that is true. he mentioned things he liked about me like my bluntness (yay for that). and said he wants to meet my mom cuz he thinks she'd be fun to talk to. she is. i admit i talk to her all the time. he said he's not looking for a fling or anything hes looking for steadiness and settling down. he really didnt seem like that but things do add up to that. he told me a little about his past, how he was raised. then later on after heading to bed around 330 (yes i slept over there but its very comforting being in his arms) he said that i was definately marriage material. totally flattering cuz it is something i totally dont expect. im not different around him than other people. at least i dont think so. i dont change for him. he doesnt complain about me. so far so good. i definately am willing to wait for him, for something between us to happen. he said he doesnt just ditch an ex or friends. he wants to keep in touch and i totally understand that. i totally want that cuz when i went to bed at 1030 i was thinking about how sad i'd be to be without my friends and how i kind of have seperation anxiety because i dont like leaving friends. i dont like losing friends. its devistating knowing that i i might not see someone that i talked with often. ie: andy from intro to business. i honestly can say i will miss that guy because he was so awesome and nice and so on. anyway, back to lee; i really dont want to lose him and im so glad everything turned out the way it has in that corner of my life.. more like i was in the corner and two variables just dropped out ... not totally but no longer focused.. and im sad that im thinking about how to make it into a math equation. hm. so its like x+3-y=0... well the 3 and y move away from me (the x) and it becomes x = y-3 and its no longer really surrounding me.. its not gone its just im back in control. it makes me feel so much better knowing that i can turn anything into math. better and sad/pathetic. either way, i am willing to wait for lee because i totally can relate. i havent been in the same situations as him but i can be there. how awesome i feel. oh yah teh rest of the 18 hours.. i got an email from tom beech about the trip and he said i can still probably go if i talk to lamae richie.. awesome lady pretty much said i can still go if i get the loan. wonderful times. so yah... 4PM depression to the 10AM high. my favourite time was from 130am-830-- definately.
wait! i have another example of people im going to miss: adam from unloading. hes awesome totally awesome. i talked to him a little before i hung out with lee a lot and he was saying how lee was such a great guy because he moved here this fall for school from the cities. he didnt know anyone and lee invited him over and shit. lee truely is amazing. and i dont know if adam was saying that because lee had a thing for me and he was trying to help it along or what. either way im so glad i sat down and made adam talk to me. now we talk everyday and he truely will be missed. good note: hes going to UMD next fall so i can visit him and billie. i definately miss you katie!!!!!!!!! i definately need a whole day with you!!! you and your awesome energy. damn with my extaordinary words ie: awesome, amazing, truely, wonderful.. whatever i like it.
next on my list of updates.. i almost died tonight. i went to work 2-11.. yah whatever who cares right? first i almost get hit in the head by a fixture shelf in the trailer.. i knew i wouldnt but i guess it was close. eh. well i didnt get off work at 11. i didnt leave til 1230. i was not going to just drop my shit off with the over nighters. on my way back to the dorms i took a detour to the bemidji library (not bsu) to see when it opened tomorrow. got that 10-5 whatever. im driving through down town and this fuckin car just goes FLYING across the street i was on. well it was about 50 ft away but had i gone a little faster through the stop signs or down some streets or left earlier by a couple seconds.. i could have been toast because they were going through an alley. yah sparks flew when they did... cop followed them. they ended up hitting a curb. and luckily they didnt turn and go perpendicular to me again. so i stayed parallel and they got arrested. holy shit there were 5 cop cars with lights after them. it was terrible. i was glad they got arrested.
but right now im exhausted. and my bed is calling for me. oh speaking of beds. since im moving out of the dorms and dont really have a bed to bring with me to the trailer i bought an inflatable one. hopefully its good. im excited its a full for 60$ or so and thats not bad considering a normal matress that i would want.. heh. moving out of the dorms this weekend. then im so off to home and malaysia and then to the trailer. im super excited about it because i really want to get out. and then i can hang out with allison more and since shes dating someone that i get along with and is a pretty cool guy, i wont complain about that. and then i can not be embarassed to have people over. but im off to bed and going to do some normal stuff. i dont know what maybe sleep.
good night.
lindsay isnt signing off the internet.. just livejournal.
first of all we'll discuss how i went from highly disappointed to very excited and content and relieved.. in 18 hours. i say 18 because 12 wasnt long enough even though if you get the right 12 hours.. man that was beautiful. but 24 would work as well but it just gets to boring. on tuesday i called regarding my loan to go to malaysia-- long story short they didnt update the internet so i had more things to turn in and some other stuff to send in. i didnt think i'd have enough time to get the loan and couldnt go. this was on top of having to need a 97% on my calc final to get a C in the class. so i didnt study that night just hung out with natalie cuz that made my grade better im sure. well i took her home around 830 and then by 1030.. i was in bed. that was beautiful i didnt want to be conscious anymore. get a call from lee at 130 and so i went over there. i love being around friends and i really love being around him and being there for him with everything thats happened in the past two months or so. we talked i brought up where we stood if we were just friends, friends with benefits or what. it was a totally serious talk and i needed that. i've been waiting for that. he said i was a good companion but we dont know each other well enough to be girlfriend/boyfriend. well that is true. he mentioned things he liked about me like my bluntness (yay for that). and said he wants to meet my mom cuz he thinks she'd be fun to talk to. she is. i admit i talk to her all the time. he said he's not looking for a fling or anything hes looking for steadiness and settling down. he really didnt seem like that but things do add up to that. he told me a little about his past, how he was raised. then later on after heading to bed around 330 (yes i slept over there but its very comforting being in his arms) he said that i was definately marriage material. totally flattering cuz it is something i totally dont expect. im not different around him than other people. at least i dont think so. i dont change for him. he doesnt complain about me. so far so good. i definately am willing to wait for him, for something between us to happen. he said he doesnt just ditch an ex or friends. he wants to keep in touch and i totally understand that. i totally want that cuz when i went to bed at 1030 i was thinking about how sad i'd be to be without my friends and how i kind of have seperation anxiety because i dont like leaving friends. i dont like losing friends. its devistating knowing that i i might not see someone that i talked with often. ie: andy from intro to business. i honestly can say i will miss that guy because he was so awesome and nice and so on. anyway, back to lee; i really dont want to lose him and im so glad everything turned out the way it has in that corner of my life.. more like i was in the corner and two variables just dropped out ... not totally but no longer focused.. and im sad that im thinking about how to make it into a math equation. hm. so its like x+3-y=0... well the 3 and y move away from me (the x) and it becomes x = y-3 and its no longer really surrounding me.. its not gone its just im back in control. it makes me feel so much better knowing that i can turn anything into math. better and sad/pathetic. either way, i am willing to wait for lee because i totally can relate. i havent been in the same situations as him but i can be there. how awesome i feel. oh yah teh rest of the 18 hours.. i got an email from tom beech about the trip and he said i can still probably go if i talk to lamae richie.. awesome lady pretty much said i can still go if i get the loan. wonderful times. so yah... 4PM depression to the 10AM high. my favourite time was from 130am-830-- definately.
wait! i have another example of people im going to miss: adam from unloading. hes awesome totally awesome. i talked to him a little before i hung out with lee a lot and he was saying how lee was such a great guy because he moved here this fall for school from the cities. he didnt know anyone and lee invited him over and shit. lee truely is amazing. and i dont know if adam was saying that because lee had a thing for me and he was trying to help it along or what. either way im so glad i sat down and made adam talk to me. now we talk everyday and he truely will be missed. good note: hes going to UMD next fall so i can visit him and billie. i definately miss you katie!!!!!!!!! i definately need a whole day with you!!! you and your awesome energy. damn with my extaordinary words ie: awesome, amazing, truely, wonderful.. whatever i like it.
next on my list of updates.. i almost died tonight. i went to work 2-11.. yah whatever who cares right? first i almost get hit in the head by a fixture shelf in the trailer.. i knew i wouldnt but i guess it was close. eh. well i didnt get off work at 11. i didnt leave til 1230. i was not going to just drop my shit off with the over nighters. on my way back to the dorms i took a detour to the bemidji library (not bsu) to see when it opened tomorrow. got that 10-5 whatever. im driving through down town and this fuckin car just goes FLYING across the street i was on. well it was about 50 ft away but had i gone a little faster through the stop signs or down some streets or left earlier by a couple seconds.. i could have been toast because they were going through an alley. yah sparks flew when they did... cop followed them. they ended up hitting a curb. and luckily they didnt turn and go perpendicular to me again. so i stayed parallel and they got arrested. holy shit there were 5 cop cars with lights after them. it was terrible. i was glad they got arrested.
but right now im exhausted. and my bed is calling for me. oh speaking of beds. since im moving out of the dorms and dont really have a bed to bring with me to the trailer i bought an inflatable one. hopefully its good. im excited its a full for 60$ or so and thats not bad considering a normal matress that i would want.. heh. moving out of the dorms this weekend. then im so off to home and malaysia and then to the trailer. im super excited about it because i really want to get out. and then i can hang out with allison more and since shes dating someone that i get along with and is a pretty cool guy, i wont complain about that. and then i can not be embarassed to have people over. but im off to bed and going to do some normal stuff. i dont know what maybe sleep.
good night.
lindsay isnt signing off the internet.. just livejournal.